Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Cross Country - Chapter V
This tiny little building on the Mathews Court Green is our only public restroom (the door on the left is for women; the right for men). Because of our lack of facilities, most natives quickly learn the fine art of creating make-shift bathrooms, such as can be found behind a tree or a large bush or a car. Or an A&P or Western Auto. Or a tombstone at the cemetery. For example.
Speaking of restrooms, we now return to the Chesapeake Bay Family Cross Country Camping Trip of 1977, and specifically to what I call the Nevada Bathroom Incident where Middle Sister got a toilet-cleaning implement caught in her poncho and dragged it out the bathroom with her. For the original story, click here.
Chesapeake Bay Mother says this about Middle Sister's unfortunate encounter with the johnny mop:
"Recounting the 'Nevada Bathroom Incident'--that happened in Florida a few years earlier when visiting Disney World. We were inside eating when the children all used the restroom. On returning, the infamous johnny mop trailed an oblivious Middle Sister."
CBW here again. CB Mother? The johnny mop incident did not happen in Florida! That Florida trip, though rife with horrors and peculiar incidents, did not have anything to do with Middle Sister's unfortunate embarrassment.
To prove this, I offer the following evidence:
1. Middle Sister was wearing a PONCHO. During that Florida trip, we 3 children were stuffed like sausages into the back of a 2-door Ford Thunderbird LTD, while the parents' front seats were jammed back so far the children could put their chins on their headrests. There is no way she would have been wearing a poncho. It was HOT on that Florida Nightmare Trip (Virginia to Florida with no stopping for anything whatsoever unless someone was in so much pain they were crying or unless the driver/CB Daddy had to use the facilities) and I can assure you nobody was wearing a poncho. Various and sundry passengers may have wished a poncho to be wrapped ever-so-tightly around their neck, but nobody was actually wearing a poncho.
2. Out West, you may recall, it was FRIGID even though it was the middle of August (not July as you mentioned in another chapter). Middle Sister WOULD have been wearing a poncho in the mountains, because you packed her something warm to wear and obviously forgot about me because I recall being so cold I had to wrap myself up in a vinyl tablecloth in order to keep hypothermia at bay.
This past weekend, Middle Sister came to visit us from Georgia, and Baby Sis came in from Richmond. All five Chesapeake Bay Family Members who were on that trip were in attendance, and I broached the topic of exactly which trip--and which state--this whole johnny mop incident happened in.
Final Voting, Commentary and Reactions to the whole debate over "Which state did Middle Sister drag a johnny mop attached to her poncho from the Women's restroom out into the common area?" are as follows:
CB Mother - Swears it was in Florida on the Disney World trip. (It wasn't.)
CB Middle Sis - Went along with CB Mother, because she can hardly remember anything, and in fact thinks that we left her at the Grand Canyon when we did not...we did leave her, but not at the Grand Canyon, and we went back to get her before we left the state, for goodness sakes. More on that in a later chapter.
CB Baby Sis - Deer in the headlights. Has no idea what we were talking about.
CB Daddy - Laughed a lot and then said his famous, standard response when he doesn't know what else to say: Boom Bam Bippy! Do not ask me what that means or where it came from (although I do believe CB Mother made it up--it was part of an entire song she made up--and he borrowed it and never gave it back). Much like CB Middle Sister's "Qwah!" it can be used to express just about any emotion. In this case, I believe he was saying he does not recall the incident and has no input onto the topic. Boom Bam Bippy.
CB Woman - Maintains that this was the Nevada Bathroom Incident as part of the 1977 camping trip, not the Disney World/Florida trip where we stayed at a Holiday Inn with cockroaches the size of armadillos. Because I am the one writing this, that's where it's going to be documented as having happened. For all those other CB Family Members who wish to write their own version of events, I encourage them to do so.
Boom Bam Bippy!