Wood Burning Furnace Part III

I took this on one of my wild goose chases on the way to Bethel Beach. Or Onemo. Or somewhere. No matter, because once I arrived at Bethel Beach I changed my mind about taking pictures. The lighting was horrible and the beach looked too gray and blah. Speaking of changing your mind, and also speaking of gray--like great big puffs of gray, billowy smoke--I turn now to Chesapeake Bay Mother's continuing saga about my father's latest Man Toy: the wood burning furnace.

My parents, who live next door, recently switched from an oil-burning furnace to an outdoor, wood-burning furnace. When I say "my parents," what I really mean is "my father," who heard about this contraption and would not stop until he had one.

For previous chapters in this epic clash of Man vs. Wife vs. Furnace, click here and here.

The Woodburning Furnace, Part Trois
by Chesapeake Bay Mother

"It is a new day, a new year, and "she got a new attitude," as the song goes. After all the hauling, digging, rigging up of heat exchangers, pumps, ad infinitum--voila! She works, the furnace, that is. It must be what the Coolee workforce felt when the final spike of the first transcontinental railroad was driven--exhausted euphoria. One of Husband's many advisors from near and far finally flipped the right switch and our house is warmer than Florida!

Aside from the loading of heavy logs about three times a day--which Husband accomplishes himself or by proxy--the only negative is the occasional spell of billowing, dense smoke which happens after refueling.* I'm hoping the neighbors aren't becoming agitated.** It is especially noticeable when the air is still; when wind blows, things are tolerable. On one of the smokier days, I noticed some unusual traffic down the lane, but was relieved that none of the cars had red lights and sirens.

I am prepared to say I was wrong on all of this,*** but I have an ominous reservation to do so. Husband's back went out at the neighborhood Christmas Party (don't ask),**** and after Christmas my hip seized up for a week (without provocation).

All this makes me wonder how we would fare if we both were incapacitated at once.***** Trust me, that would be the very time we would get our "once every ten years blizzard up to your hips."

Come to think of it, that sounds like fun...." - cbmother
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Chesapeake Bay Woman is Chomping at the Bit to Say This About That:

* The volume of smoke and the size of the log pile is more magnificent than the West Point paper mill. When I come down the driveway, I have to turn on my fog lights and windshield wipers to find my way to the house.

** You can rest assured The Neighbors convene regularly to discuss the Many Antics of the Chesapeake Bay Family. Any day now I expect to receive a petition asking us to please leave not only the county, but the state of Virginia, and the United States, if that isn't too much to ask.

***If in fact Chesapeake Bay Mother still feels this way as of the next chapter in the Wood-Burning Furnace Debates, you can rest assured this is a watershed date in the history of the Chesapeake Bay Family. CB Mother rarely changes her opinion of a CB Father purchase.

****This would be the Neighborhood Christmas Party that I hosted, and I beg you, please don't ask.

*****Both incapacitated at once? And I live next door to them? If you think I'm going to be hauling lumber and stuffing it into some thing that looks like a portajohn except it pumps out more industrial grade smoke than a factory, well, you may as well go ahead and believe that Chesapeake Bay Mother is going to say that my father was right in this whole ordeal.

It ain't gonna happen.