Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Colorado Cousins


Surprise! Another Haven Beach shot. You never know what you're going to see here, but you can almost rest assured it'll be a picture of Haven Beach, Gwynn's Island, or New Point. And now for another surprise: I am going to talk about more relatives of mine, the only first cousins the Chespeake Bay Sisters have.

I'm kicking off the new year by introducing another arm of the Chesapeake Bay Family, another whole set of characters: our Colorado cousins.

CB Father had two brothers, one of whom never married, never had children, and has passed on. The one remaining brother is a neurosurgeon out in Denver, and he has 4 children: 2 girls and 2 boys, from here on identified as: Cousin Marcy (oldest, and the one I hung out with); Cousin Judy (closer to Middle Sister's age and very Middle-Sister-like); Cousin Donny and Cousin Timmy (youngest). The names have been changed to protect the guilty as well as the innocent.

The other day I found some letters and old school papers from Middle Sister’s childhood, including correspondence to her from Colorado Cousin Judy.

Here is an excerpt from one that I found particularly enchanting:

2/9/1979 (Middle Sis would have been about 11 or 12)

Dear Chesapeake Bay Middle Sister:

A few things:

1. It snowed last night, but most of it is gone now.

2. Brother Donny is really getting on my nerves. I think someday I’m going to have a mental breakdown from his bugging me. Baby Brother Timmy’s a real jerk, but not as much as Donny. Donny acts like he’s younger than Timmy.

OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just remembered! Those pukey little cub scouts are coming over tonight to watch some barfy little movie! They come ripping through the house yelling and screaming, like they have grasshoppers up their shirts.

(By the way, the last time I went skiing, one of my friends Linda gave me this one thing that looked like a strange nut. She said it was really good and started eating handfuls of them. I ate it, and just after I swallowed it, she told me what it was: a fried grasshopper! Yuck!)

Well anyway, the last time those cub scouts came over, Baby Brother Timmy was upstairs taking a bath with the shower curtain and the door wide open. He was singing too! About three of the cub scouts snuck upstairs when Dad wasn’t looking. When he found out they were missing, he ran upstairs to hustle them back into the kitchen.

Do you know what one of them said? “Who was the kid singing in the bathtub? You know, you should teach your son to shut the door when he takes a bath!” I could have died.

I’m not sure if I told you this, but a while ago, it was about 11:00 at night, and Brother Donny couldn’t sleep, so he turned on his light, took off his clothes and jumped on his bed RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE WINDOW WITH THE CURTAINS WIDE OPEN! The next day, the little girl who lives across the street told me about it….

Love, Colorado Cousin Judy
-------------------------------------------------
Chesapeake Bay Woman’s Comments:
Is there any question--whatsoever--in anyone’s mind that these people are our blood relatives? Calling siblings "jerks," using the words "pukey" and "barfy" when referencing brother's cub scout pack; a brother who sings in the shower with the door and curtain wide open and another brother who flashes the next door neighbors?

Oh yeah, this is definitely an off shoot of the Chesapeake Bay Family. Western style.

18 comments:

Angela said...

A colorful family you have! At the time when you have to endure siblings and cousins, they truly get on your nerves, but don`t they make wonderful memories?

Val said...

its so funny to read letters from way back then.... your family sound fabulous :-) i love them already

Anonymous said...

Action, sex & comedy - what more does a book need?

Rick's Cafe

ps. as for the account, Luddites don't do new things well:)

pjhammer_1965 said...

Cousins always share a special bond and seem to relate to one another, no pun intended, without effort.

I remember once while visiting our Grandmother in Richmond, my Brother and I found ourselves in the midst of a rock throwing war among rival church boys in our beloved Forest Hill Park - a truly christian endeavor, rock throwing wars.

We were just minding our own business when all of a sudden we were caught in the middle of the battle and both sides assumed we were rivals, until one side adopted us as theirs, since we retaliated against the opposite side, who had thrown at us first.

When our strategic positions became well suited enough to recogonize our foes, we realized that we were feuding with our cousins and an instant truce was drawn. The war stopped as quickly as it had started for us and everybody walked away relatively unscaithed. It was good to see our cousins again.

Cool Breeze said...

We all have our people don't we?

big hair envy said...

National Lampoon is sure to offer you a movie deal now! There can be sequels.....Chesapeake Bay Family, Chesapeake Bay Family - Retro Vacation & Chesapeake Bay Cousins.

Yeee-Haaaww!

Mental P Mama said...

Will they be visiting Mathews this Summer? Like, in july?

Anonymous said...

Visiting in summer? Grand Idea!

The obnoxious new-rich (vs old- money) real-estate developer can bring everyone in his ostentatious boat right up the river....only to get beached in front of the house.

....in the mean while, fiddler crabs would be chased around by a groundskeeper wearing combat boots and a floppy hat.

RC

Grandma J said...

If it's not DNA then it has to be the thin air...you know, lack of oxygen to the brain. My two grandsons in Colorado are extremely hyper and love to run around nude.
I can't wait for you to dig out more documentation from the attic.

Busy Bee Suz said...

that is so funny...the way she spoke about her family you knew she was a teen or pre-teen!!!
Do you still have contact with them?

Bear Naked said...

I am interested in knowing how many old letters and papers are in the CBW household.
Don't you through anything away?

Bear((( )))

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Your family tree is one of the most colourful I have ever seen! *lol*

How incredibly fortunate you are to have this goldmine of stuff at your fingertips. My family is pretty vanilla. Boring.

I don't even think I have cousins. How is that possible?

Life with Kaishon said...

They sound so cute and little. Barfy? Who says that? Hope you are having a happy week. Thank goodness it is hump day : ).

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Angela - My family's colors are so bright they're blinding, but yes, they do make for fond memories. Cousins included.

Val - I could sit for hours and read old letters. Thanks to the internet letters are becoming a thing of the past, though....

Rick's Cafe - In your spare time, can you figure out how to make this into a money-making venture? If you are successful, I'll give you a percentage of my first paycheck, and a free trip to Mathews, plus the already-mentioned royal treatment at the premiere.

PJH - I love your stories, I had no idea you led such a flavorful life. I am serious when I say that I would love to have you write a guest post for this place. I am sure you have plenty of material to draw from....you can send it to me via the e-mail on facebook or the chesapeakebaywoman@gmail.com. I am serious - and the same is true for any other Mathews readers out there. I'm not the only one with stories about this place, thank goodness.

Cool Breeze - amen.

BHE - This family would put the Griswolds to shame. Chevy Chase would, though, make a great Chesapeake Bay Father in the movie. I'm going to have to think about the casting for the rest of the family. Thanks for giving me a way to entertain myself when I'm driving four hundred hours to and from the paying job....

MPM - I can always ask them, but be careful what you ask for....

RC - Are you saying you want to come to the blogfest? I'll have to do a background check on you first and there will be some paperwork to fill out....but otherwise the position of Defender Against Fiddler Crabs for the Blogfest has not yet been filled. It is a seasonal position, hourly rate of pay. No health insurance, but you do get a bonus based on number of fiddler crabs deflected.

GJ - It's a combo of both DNA and thin air, although we have plenty of oxygen here in Mathews, so unfortunately in our case it's 90% DNA and 10% Mathews Drinking Water, a topic for another time.

Busy Bee - Middle Sister is in close contact with them, I haven't seen them in about 10 years, which is a sad statement. They're our only remaining family on my father's side (and my mother was an only child, and most everyone on her side is dead). I am sure Middle Sis will put us all back in touch again.

BN - If I told you what our basement here and my mother's attic next door looked like, I'd have to kill you, and I am not a violent person. The answer to your question is NOTHING IS THROWN AWAY. Right now, and I am NOT making this up, I am staring at a prescription medicine vial from Richardsons (now defunct) Drug Store that I found in one of these boxes.....for me from 1982.

Auds - Your family may be more colorful than you think..you just have to search for the stories. (It is possible to have no first cousins, do some digging and you might find some second or thirds, though).

LWK/Rebeckah - She also said "cosmic" about 40 times in that letter, but I omitted those parts.

Have a great evening, everyone.

Anonymous said...

A wandering thought...

Does one get 'muddy' chasing fiddler crabs?

RC

pjhammer_1965 said...

CBW - I might take you up on the offer one day and give you a break, just for grins and giggles. Your stories are awesome! My chronic ADD makes me think of similiar situations and blabber on about them.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

PJH - I am certain I have ADD and it's getting worse the older I get. (Didn't have it as a kid - only after 2 kids. That's it - I'll blame the kids.)

Send me your stories - as many as you like!

Autumnforest said...

I must be a family member lost a birth, because I totally fit into your family!