Thursday, January 8, 2009

Pop Quiz


Thanks to the Gwynn's Island property owner (known as Breezeway in the Comments section), who gave me permission to trespass, I bring you this shot of the road going down to Breezeway's waterfront property. Although you can't tell from this picture, if you were to rev up your car just so, let off the clutch, spin some wheels, and haul it as fast as you could straight ahead down this road, you'd land in the Chesapeake Bay--after grazing a house or two. Not that anyone would want to drive fast down a dirt road into the bay, or graze houses, mind you. But it has been known to happen, that driving fast and into the water part. I know of two separate stories, neither of which involves this particular piece of property. (Thanks again, Breezeway, it's beautiful.)

In honor of the fact that I have exhausted all of the stories I stockpiled over Christmas Break--when all I did was lounge in a robe and clogs until it was time to go to bed again--I am going to make y'all do some work today in the form of a pop quiz.

I always wanted to be a teacher. As a kid, I taught Middle Sister everything she knew in our pretend classroom--to the point she skipped a grade and was deemed a genius and gifted. Then I substituted at the Intermediate School when I was 22 and decided I'd rather be anything--a member of a traveling circus, perhaps--other than a teacher. After that experience, I had a very sincere respect and the utmost admiration for teachers but realized I was not cut out for educating others, or rather I wasn't at age 22.

I am and always was, however, cut out for the circus.

Attention! This is your test. You are not to look at anyone else's paper, and if I hear talking during this test, you can just write a great big zero at the top and turn your paper in, because I'll be having no--as in zero--tolerance for cheating. (Sorry, I slipped back into the "barking orders at Middle Sister while pretending to be a teacher" mode of communication. It's very easy to do.)

Anyway, here's the test. You have 1 minute and I will be timing you. Pick up your pencils...Ready?....Begin.

Which of the following statements is NOT true about Mathews?

a) Dolly Parton once performed here.

b) An airplane crashed here.

c) An elderly lady--an Alzheimer patient from another state-- once drove off the landing at New Point and ended up in the bay (very shallow water there, so not a life-threatening event unless you're worried about being eaten alive by fiddler crabs). When the law came she carried on a conversation and was seemingly oblivious to the fact that she and her car were up to their airbags in salt water.

d) A Japanese steak house (that also serves Vietnamese and Thai food depending on the day of the week) is going to open up in the old Cobbs Creek Market, and they will offer Mathews Bloggers Named Chesapeake Bay Woman a free dinner every Friday and Saturday night. They specialize in fresh spring rolls - the kind made with rice paper, not fried, and served with a delectable dipping sauce.

When you are done, please turn your paper over and stare at the cinder block walls or the blank chalkboard until class is over, which is approximately an hour from when you flip your test over.This is good practice for when you will be required to sit in excruciatingly inefficient workplace meetings as an adult.

Answer = d (The only thing I miss about city living is the diversity of restaurants, but it's a small sacrifice. As small as a dainty, delicate, fresh, rice-paper spring roll (not fried) with a delectable dipping sauce.)

26 comments:

Annie said...

ymmm..mm..I am hungry...those rice paper rolls are delicious!

It took me more than minute to read and assilimilate all the words in the quiz...!

Annie

ps But gosh that sitting looking at a blank wall for an hour afterwards was great! Very non-stimulating! And restful!

Val said...

maybe you can make some???

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

Up here in the Big City, we have Japanese restaurants, and Thai and Korean and you can get Vietnamese Pho and everything, and if that's not enough, we have entire grocery stores (one of which is 4 miles from my house) that sell all the ingredients you need in order to make your own spring rolls from scratch.

Just sayin'.

But I'm not sure whether Dolly Parton has ever performed here.

big hair envy said...

Our next planning meeting will be at "Ginger Red" in Mechanicsville. Their spring rolls are to. die. for. Oh, and so is the dipping sauce:)

Icey said...

Maybe CB son and daughter can learn to make them with their new game? Or else you will just have to come and visit the big city - your guest room is available (and the bed is visible again now that we have stashed the holiday stuff) Just don't come for the inauguration as you will most likely not be able to get here. I would have a better chance of getting downtown that day if I took a bus from kentucky. So much for the perks of DC living.

Phyl said...

D! and if it happends, I'm moving back. That lane looks very familar. I bet I rode my bike there growing up on the island.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Good Morning, everybody.

I actually can and have made those heavenly spring rolls before - but no store in Mathews carries rice paper. Unless there's someplace I don't know about, I have to drive an hour to find a place that has it. I drive enough during the workweek that on my days off I'd rather have a tooth pulled than get back in the car and leave this place.

Cooking Light actually has a wonderful recipe for anyone looking to make these at home. They're very, very easy, and so is the sauce.

I'm very hungry now.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Oh, I almost forgot - for any locals, the Thai restaurant in Gloucester has these and they're pretty good.

Bear Naked said...

The dog ate my homework.

Bear((( )))

Grandma J said...

The answer is D

I'm not a fan of Thai food or any Asian food.
In So CA there is a restaurant every 200 feet with the word Pho in the title.

I know Dolly Parton has performed there because I saw her in an airport terminal years ago, and she broke out in song for us, so I figured she would perform anywhere....not that Mathews is just any "anywhere", no, I didn't mean that.

Mental P Mama said...

No Vietnamese food? I am not coming.

tj said...

...Oh, it's over? I was still counting the cinder blocks... It was "d"? Yes! I was right! :o) I'm so tickled lol...I never hardly get anything right anymore - I think it's the age thing or it could be a total lack of brain cells...who knows *sigh* ;o)

...*giggling*@'Bear Naked's' comment... :oD

...Once a long time ago someone told the husband about Asian cuisine and their use of felines for meat. We can't get thru a meal at the local Chinese Restaurant without him bringing that subject up. So to shut him up I order beef & broccoli without the beef...lol (I'm not much of a meat eater anyway :o)

...Loved the quiz! I laughed out loud at the "she and her car were up to their airbags in salt water" part...lol

..."Happy Thursday"! Blessings...

p.s.-my word verification? "boatof"...is this another quiz? 'Cause since it's CBW's site, I'm guessin' "boatof...water!" hee,hee... I know, I know, not funny. I couldn't resist... I go now. :o)

nativedevil said...

I enjoy most foods, but I do not care for Thai food at all. Chinese food is great, but Thai food just makes me sick. Still, to each their own. I also enjoy creamed chip beef, which my father, after his Army days in WWII, always called sh** on a shingle, and this from a man who never used foul language. He also recalled to me once the joy he felt one day in the war when he found a mudhole, and finally had some water to drink. I guess Thai food isn't so bad after all.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Y'all are hilarious, all of you. Thanks for making me laugh....

@Native Devil - I love sh*t on a shingle - absolutely love it. (It's probably the lemon grass, the cilantro or the basil in Thai food that you can't stand. Some people say it tastes like soap to them. I am addicted, esp. to the cilantro and the lemon grass.)

pjhammer_1965 said...

Thai, not that is some flavorful food and one of my favorites.

Remember the time that we had the chemical spill, I think it was sulphuric acid in New Point or something, and all the people in the outlying areas were directed to the firehouse to live for like a day or two. It was like a second market days that year as the courthouse was just packed with people. news crews were all over...that, was cool.

Auds at Barking Mad said...

The spring rolls sound fantastic. The last spring rolls we got a few weeks ago were horrid little logs reminiscent of cardboard.

Can I stop looking at the cinderblock wall now? I think I sorta maybe kinda might have fallen asleep.

Breezeway said...

I told you, feel free to take pics to your heart's desire. That cottage is my favorite place on the earth and driving down that dirt road almost always has the effect of total relaxation on me. Little bit of trivia for ya... my grandfather built the place about 60 years ago and there used to be a corn field between it and the Bay (not in my lifetime). Much of the lumber used in the original center section came from an overturned barge that was being pushed up the Bay and washed ashore, to my grandfather's great delight. Just thought with your interest in all things old and decrepit, you might want some details. Let me know if you need more, I have TONS!

Breezeway said...

Oh, and while you are free to rev, pop clutches, spin wheels etc... if you happen to end up in the quicksand (I swear it is!) on either side of the road, you are on your own!

John Lee Callis said...

I remember when Dolly Parton came to Donks. Being the idiot that I was, I decided to go to the high school football game instead. It was just a couple of months later that she went pop and hit the big time. I have kicked myself in the butt many times because I didn't go see Dolly.

Anonymous said...

Dolly Parton did indeed perform here, as did Ernest Tubb, among others. This was at Donks', way way back in the day.

Now, as for a Japanese/Vietnamese/Thai restaurant in the Cobbs Creek Market, or anywhere else for that matter...would that be cool or what?

BOSSY said...

Bossy loves herself a good test! In theory. The reality is she still feels like the high school girl who doesn't find out there's a test until the day of, and so while there's still time, she slips out the back door and down into the subway...

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Holy fiddler crab! I get on here after sitting through hours of basketball and am astonished at all these comments - pleasantly, may I add.

First of all, may I tell those of you who do not know, that Bossy is my favorite blogger ever, and she is up for humor blog of the year in the webblog awards (or something like that - details....). I can't tell you what it means that she would stop by here and leave a comment.

That doesn't mean I don't treasure everyone else's...no indeed. I really love and appreciate them all.

I can't respond to everyone individually today, but I did want to say to Breezewood - I would love to know more of your tales. I knew about the cornfield. I have a friend who has a beach on the Hills Bay side and I've heard the stories about that field. Also, I do plan on going back to your slice of heaven, because you can photograph the same thing every day and end up with a different result. I promise to take care of the place and won't go cutting doughnuts in your yard....promise.

And also to John Lee - I've been to Donks in the past year and Uncle Jimmy Wickham still talks about meeting Dolly. He tells a joke about it but naturally I've forgotten it. I do recall the words "two best" being part of the punchline.....

Happy Thursday evening, everyone.

John Lee Callis said...

Uncle Jimmy says something about it being the two biggest things that ever happened to him ....
he wishes.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

John Lee - THAT'S IT!

Anonymous said...

I saw Dolly perform at Donks (I was about five) and I got her autograph on my ticket. It WAS the biggest thing that ever happened to me (at the time!). I thought I had lost the autograph, but my mumma found it a few months ago. But now I can't remember where I put it... UH OH!

Happy New Year CBW!

AMN

kaffy said...

Hey hey hey CBW, you got Bossy. You are in the big time now. She knows quality blogs when she sees 'em.