Pop Quiz

Thanks to the Gwynn's Island property owner (known as Breezeway in the Comments section), who gave me permission to trespass, I bring you this shot of the road going down to Breezeway's waterfront property. Although you can't tell from this picture, if you were to rev up your car just so, let off the clutch, spin some wheels, and haul it as fast as you could straight ahead down this road, you'd land in the Chesapeake Bay--after grazing a house or two. Not that anyone would want to drive fast down a dirt road into the bay, or graze houses, mind you. But it has been known to happen, that driving fast and into the water part. I know of two separate stories, neither of which involves this particular piece of property. (Thanks again, Breezeway, it's beautiful.)

In honor of the fact that I have exhausted all of the stories I stockpiled over Christmas Break--when all I did was lounge in a robe and clogs until it was time to go to bed again--I am going to make y'all do some work today in the form of a pop quiz.

I always wanted to be a teacher. As a kid, I taught Middle Sister everything she knew in our pretend classroom--to the point she skipped a grade and was deemed a genius and gifted. Then I substituted at the Intermediate School when I was 22 and decided I'd rather be anything--a member of a traveling circus, perhaps--other than a teacher. After that experience, I had a very sincere respect and the utmost admiration for teachers but realized I was not cut out for educating others, or rather I wasn't at age 22.

I am and always was, however, cut out for the circus.

Attention! This is your test. You are not to look at anyone else's paper, and if I hear talking during this test, you can just write a great big zero at the top and turn your paper in, because I'll be having no--as in zero--tolerance for cheating. (Sorry, I slipped back into the "barking orders at Middle Sister while pretending to be a teacher" mode of communication. It's very easy to do.)

Anyway, here's the test. You have 1 minute and I will be timing you. Pick up your pencils...Ready?....Begin.

Which of the following statements is NOT true about Mathews?

a) Dolly Parton once performed here.

b) An airplane crashed here.

c) An elderly lady--an Alzheimer patient from another state-- once drove off the landing at New Point and ended up in the bay (very shallow water there, so not a life-threatening event unless you're worried about being eaten alive by fiddler crabs). When the law came she carried on a conversation and was seemingly oblivious to the fact that she and her car were up to their airbags in salt water.

d) A Japanese steak house (that also serves Vietnamese and Thai food depending on the day of the week) is going to open up in the old Cobbs Creek Market, and they will offer Mathews Bloggers Named Chesapeake Bay Woman a free dinner every Friday and Saturday night. They specialize in fresh spring rolls - the kind made with rice paper, not fried, and served with a delectable dipping sauce.

When you are done, please turn your paper over and stare at the cinder block walls or the blank chalkboard until class is over, which is approximately an hour from when you flip your test over.This is good practice for when you will be required to sit in excruciatingly inefficient workplace meetings as an adult.

Answer = d (The only thing I miss about city living is the diversity of restaurants, but it's a small sacrifice. As small as a dainty, delicate, fresh, rice-paper spring roll (not fried) with a delectable dipping sauce.)