Thursday, March 19, 2009

Falling Down Part 2

This is not my house after a major weather event in spite of the many, many parallels which can be drawn between the two with or without the weather event.

This is from the Ware River public landing at the end of the road between Hodges & Bryant and Long Bridge Ordinary in neighboring Gloucester County. My mother used to live nearby and told me about this place once, but I forgot what she said.

Just like I forgot to post the rest of her story a while back on Falling Down. At the time, I thought the story ended rather abruptly, but not so much that I considered looking for the rest of what she wrote.

Tonight I was climbing Mount Paperwork and Peak de Procrastination on my desk and I unearthed the second page, the rest of the story.

So now we pick up where that story left off, which was where she was talking about her tendency to fall a lot and the dangerous staircases in the old farmhouse she lives in.

The Rest of the Story
by Chesapeake Bay Mother

(This title brought to you by Chesapeake Bay Woman's impeccable organizational skills and her attention to detail.)

"...The third story of the house contains a huge walk-in attic with a full stair; again, as in the cellar, there are no handrails, so feet have to get it right. Carrying items for storage up and bringing them down involves many steps. The tricky part is the last few steps going down. If you forget a couple of steps, as I did, you take an inadvertent giant step, propelling you and whatever you're toting at a 45-degree angle into a wall. If you manage to land standing--you're good. I didn't. No broken bones, no lacerations, just bruising and cussing and possible whiplash.

The main staircase has a handrail, which is no help when you're going for a light switch in the middle of the night and lose your way at the head of the stairs. That one hurt. The list included: one concussion, two fractured fingers, several fractured bones in the right foot, right jaw trauma (preventing opening the mouth), right temple trauma, and bruising all over.

I stood up and walked next door to Chesapeake Bay Daughter's and we went to the nearest hospital, where Husband was sleeping like a baby as a patient. No lack of irony for us. After rigorous examination, I was sent home to visit a specialist the next day for an apparatus to wear for three months to help heal fractures.

Once home, Husband marveled at the list of physical damages; he said his favorite one was the frozen if he ever listened to a word I say."


From Chesapeake Bay Woman:

THE END really this time. I promise.

I think.


Grandma J said...

Oh those injuries. You would have fared better colliding with a MAC truck. I can't believe all the fractured bones....and the foot! OUCH. Of course I can relate because I'm still nursing a semi-broken pinkie from last June.

Pass the ice pack.

foolery said...

Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow

I know what I'd ask for for Christmas: a handrail. Also, a new digital camera and some non-smelly hand lotion. Wait, what?

Annie said...

I do hope this proclivity for falling down is not genetic!


Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Grandma J. - The roles really reversed in this instance, and I had to take off work for almost 3 weeks just to wait on her hand and foot. She could not move, couldn't do anything. Did I mention she lives on what could easily pass as a wildlife preserve? Which would be fine if she didn't have very, very specific instructions for each species of animals, such as : This goose eats cracked corn mixed with lettuce. Do not put anything else in the bowl. Then put only cracked corn in another bowl for this duck. That duck must be turned out, but this other one cannot. (Both ducks look identical, by the way.) Do NOT feed this cat (1 of 40) dry food, never!!! But make sure all the other ones are fed twice a day, and this one gets an antibiotic and HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN A CAT ANTIBIOTIC? Oh, was I relieved for more than one reason when she recovered. Whew.

Foolery - You're making me laugh.

Annie - It is extremely genetic. I fall down stairs, I fall up stairs, I fall walking around the yard. So far, no trips to the hospital, but now that I've said that I've probably jinxed myself. Knocking on wood as we speak.

mom x 2 said...

Ouch!!! a hand rail would definitely be on the list of things to get... I would probably fall down too!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Momx2 - The handrail helps if you use it...the time she had the concussion she was fumbling around at night and wasn't even trying to go down the steps, they just happened to be in the hallway on her way to the bathroom...she was a bit disoriented (only to become more so). With the attic, her arms are usually loaded down with boxes, etc. I think the moral of the story is she needs to steer clear of stairs entirely unless we install one of those mechanized chairs that glide up the steps.

Mental P Mama said...

Ouch. I think I even need some Advil after this.

mmm said...

That house reminds me of what I see every morning... when I look in the mirror.

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

Ouch!! I usually run into problems falling UP the stairs...LOL

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

MPM - She was on prescription pain medicine for months afterwards. To this day she aches from that tumble.

MMM - Please, you know that isn't true. I'll smack you the next time I see you. Maybe at Blog Fest.

Please Procrastinator - Oh, how I know what you're talking about. Oh, how I know.

Well, here it is, almost 8:00 p.m. I have been running non stop on what is supposed to be my "day off" and I am as exhausted as if I had worked all day at the paying job. Of course I have NOTHING written for tomorrow, no pictures uploaded and no idea what will appear.

If it is any worse than usual, please forgive me.

Maybe I should put that previous sentence on my sidebar. It pretty much applies to everything I write.

Not Moved Mom said...

Not true CBW-some of your best writings are your impromptu entries.
Always fun!

OK-everyone do their SUNSHINE dance again. I am so sick of hearing raindrops and cancelled soccer games. UGH!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

You're sweet to say that, NMMom. The weather sure is disappointing this evening. This morning was so bright and cheery, warm --almost hot. Then just as quick as you can say, "I'm gonna shoot someone if it turns cloudy and rainy again," well that's just when the wind starts a whippin' and the cold air comes back and oh how I wish I could afford a vacation to somewhere warm.

Not Moved Mom said...

Speaking of vacations-I need help from all of our bloggers. I am trying to book an all inclusive (I think) vacation to probably somewhere in the Carribean. However, I have a large age span of children ranging from ten to twenty, also taking another 18 year old (blonde hair/blue eye) girl that doesn't belong to me. I want a safe place but somewhere they will all have fun without me having to worry about the older ones. I don't want somewhere that I will arrive on a nudist beach or somewhere that they are handing out drugs like trick or treat candy. Any suggestions????

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

NMM - It's funny you ask that particular question, because I contemplated asking about vacations in one of my upcoming posts this weekend. Like where people were going, what they were doing, etc.

If you remind me I'll do that for Saturday or Sunday and can include your question (which is a great one) in that post. But you'll need to remind me.

Have you ever done a cruise? There's something for everyone there, even and possibly especially, the adults.

mmm said...


Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

MMM-You look younger than you did 25 years ago.

mmm said...

I'd say thank you, but I believe you're suffering from a bad memory. Oh hel..., I mean what the heck, thank you anyway.

Have a nice evening CBW. That goes for all you crazy bloggers out there too.