Tuesday, September 29, 2009


<Chirp>.This house lives in the middle of a corn field over in Deltaville, which is north of Mathews between the Rappahannock and Piankatank rivers. Deltaville is a close cousin of Mathews in that its terrain, architecture and pace of life are very close to what we enjoy here.

<Chirp.> I'd really love to discuss this photo; about past vs. present. About how the corn crops are alive, tended to and under control; and the house had life but is now unattended, left to the mercy of the elements. The colors of the picture--brown signifying decay and green signifying life--further illustrate this life and death, past and present theme.Interestingly, this picture shows the controlled crops in a decaying state of brown while the uncontrolled growth at the steps of the house are green and full of life. Oh, how I could expand upon that. <Chirp.>

Yes, I'd really love to discuss all that at length, but I can't. <Chirp.>

Right now, my nerves and sanity are being tested by a chirping smoke detector which has been dangling from my bedroom ceiling for years months now. Despite removing the battery, <chirp>then pulling the entire apparatus out of the ceiling <chirp> and finally messing with the wiring coming out the ceiling (whereby I almost electrocuted myself and saw more sparks than a welder at the Newport News Shipyard) I'm unable to make it stop. The thing continues to chirp incessantly every so often.

Every so often is shorthand for Oh please make it stop.

And now, <chirp> a few questions:

Does everything have to be a <chirp> struggle? Is there any rest for the weary? Have you almost electrocuted yourself while teetering on a chair trying to yank a hard-wired smoke detector from the ceiling? Out of sheer <chirp> despair and frustration due to a chirping smoke detector, have you ever tilted your head backwards, closed your eyes, then glanced upwards only to see that on your <chirp> ceiling there is a granddaddy long legs spider making himself quite at home?

In your house or in your life, is there something that ought to be simple to fix but isn't and it's driving you crazy?



maria from nj said...

I beat one to chirp death once, but it wasn't hard wired. I hate the chirping. Hope Tuesday is a better day.

PS. Satavist - someone who beats up smoke alarms.

Autumnforest said...

Nice picture. Looks like and island being encroached upon by the dying autumn earth.

Grandma J said...

I love that photo. and your smoke alarm issues would drive me crazy. My daughter has one that chirps constantly no matter what. If it were mine, I'd shoot it.

Annie said...

woo..don't mess with Grandma J..!!

Funny you should ask about my problems? How long do you have?

I'll give you the very funny short version.

In the dust storm, I thought it might be a good idea to shut all doors and windows, since dust tends to creep...in through shut windows etc. As I shut the sliding bathroom door, I heard a clunk. The sound of the baby change table I had in there, stored against the door...clunking now against the wall...and guess who now was locked out of the bathroom?

In going downstairs to see if I could get a flat metal builders ruler, I discovered (was reminded) that I am also currently locked out of the storeroom! Son locked it, not knowing I can't find the key...haven't used the key for years! Very funny. [Sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself and the predicaments you find yourself in]. It helps...after a good cry sometimes!

Dilemma. The bloke next door offered to come look at it last night. In the meantime I decided to have a last try with a bit of wire...not as strong as I wanted...but IT WORKED...hooray. I am now back into the bathroom. All I have to do is break into the storeroom!

It helps to have family or good (hopefully strong helpful male) friends who live close by. They have often been of great help to me! Or else money to pay people, and I can understand that that might be an issue for you as it is for me!

I am reminded of another very funny story about my louvres in my bedroom...one set locked shut ..and one set is locked open. Neither set can I budge. Someone from tennis once offered to come see if he could fix them...and by the time he remembered that there was something that he had offered to do for me, neither of us could remember what it was!!!

Having open louvres when someone is chopping/mulching trees for removal outside the window, and in the middle of dust storms, is not terribly convenient..I can tell you now!!

I won't start on the pool, pool retaining wall..etc etc..you see what I mean?

But I recommend..STAY AWAY from the electricity...you know I have terrible memories of someone very dear and close to me being electrocuted!

Maybe you just have to put a new battery in..can you afford one...I can send you a spare if you want?

Pueblo girl said...

Love the houses you're showing us. There seem to have been a lot recently - fantasies about moving(away from your smoke detector)?
Things which should be easy to fix but aren't, in my life? Just about anything that happens with my computer.

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

If you can disconnect it without electrocuting yourself, then get one of those battery operated ones that sticks on the ceiling.

We have two closet doors in the basement that have been nonfunctional for, oh, 4 years or so. Drives me nuts. But you know what, we've kinda stopped seeing them. Of course if they chirped, like the crickets down there, it'd be a different story.

Linda said...

Hard wired smoke detectors are great/suck! When I tried to disconnect mine -bc someone (male)kept forgetting to buy batteries on his way home- every single one in the house started chirpping! GAAAA!!! But it did get said male to go out & buy batteries;-)

well read hostess said...

I'm going to spend the whole day saying "Piankatank Piankatank Piankatank" in my head.

Maybe even out loud a few times.

Daryl said...

Okay, I fasted for us both so now you have a clean slate .. go forth and SIN!

We had a smoke detector like that once but it stopped when we ripped it outta the wall .. I think the reason yours still chirps has to do with the wiring ... do you know someone who can come and look at it?

Caution Flag said...

Yes, the mess that covers every surface.

Have you considered turning off the electricity and living by lantern light? The chirping WILL stop, but when the lanterns explode... Okay, not such a good idea. Sorry.

Angel Mama said...

Don't tell anyone - I only have 1 smoke alarm in my house. Because they chirped. I used to live in Deltaville - it was wonderful!

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Umm lets see...where do I start with what question??? Oysters cure everything right?

Living on the Spit said...

I got one almost as bad as that...how about a smoke alarm that chirps that periodic incessant chirp, but you can not get to it becuase it is in the unit attached to you...I understand your pain.

big hair envy said...

Word Verification: irkman

'Nuff said.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

After a one hour commute, 8.5 hours at work, another haul to a soccer game, a trip to the grocery store, another hour drive home, I'm finally home at 7:30 p.m.

It's still chirping.

In other news, evidently last night in the midst of all my wire tampering (when sparks were flying, and yes I did get shocked) I blew a fuse or tripped a circuit or WHATEVER BECAUSE I'M NOT AN ELECTRICIAN (see above about sparks and shocks).

I am pleased to report that the Chesapeake Bay Children, ages 14 and 11, were able to fix the problem. They went down to the panel box and BLAH BLAH BLAH HOOPDY BLAH and now the upstairs electricity works.

They can't help me with the chirping, though. Oh, the humanity.

SErenity now.

p.s. Thanks for your comments, really and truly. They are so great to read after such a day, and some of you have made me crack right on up laughing. Annie - goodness, you must be a long, lost family member over there in Australia, because your tales of woe sound identical to mine here.

Grandma J. - You bring the gun, I'll be happy to shoot. I'm just about ready to do it right now with my bare hands...

To everyone - thanks again. You really do help cheer me up, and very likely prevent some felonies from being committed here in No Man's Land.