Friday, September 11, 2009

Flashback Friday: The Sisters



This is a picture of a recent sunrise on the creek. The camera was insisting I put up the flash, but I always ignore that, just like I sometimes ignored my trifling Middle Sister when we were young.

One of my favorite posts on Life in Mathews was called Sibling Rivalry, written in June of 2008. Actually, the comments were my favorite part, because Middle Sis and Baby Sis chimed in with their charming personality and overly defensive stance on wearing too much lipstick sharp wit.

For the full story, please click here and be sure to read the comments.

In honor of both of my sisters coming into town tonight, I am sharing some of the warmer, more heartwarming parts of that loving sisterly exchange. Let's begin.

Here's an excerpt from my original post:

"I did cruel stuff to both of my sisters. I can’t even tell you some of the things I did because they’re so awful. A less awful thing I did often, especially on long car trips, was to lick my hand and then wipe it on their arms or legs, any exposed patch of skin. This was usually because they were getting too close to me. They had crossed that invisible line that separated my territory from theirs. Then they’d holler, “Mamma, Chesapeake Bay Sister is licking me,” and start to whine and cry or something. If one of them licked me back? It was full-on war....

...I will say, though, that both of my sisters have this irritating habit of wearing too much lipstick ,and when they drink coffee or wine their lipstick marks are all over the glasses and cups (and I find the glasses and cups all over the house). They wear so much lipstick that sometimes even the dishwasher doesn’t get it off. And no way am I putting my hands in those glasses to wash that stuff out. No way. That would be just like them licking me.


In the comments section, Baby Sis and her attitude chimed in:

"Um, let's see....I can add a little to the "torturing your sisters" that you "forgot" to embellish upon. Let's start with the pool game called CLAM where one of the younger sisters would have to swim under your legs at the pool, only to be distracted by a strange yellow mist...and then there's the game of " football ". Your instructions were as follows: place your head on my butt and when I yell "hike" you run backwards... (Baby Sis says more, but I'm trying to save space here, plus I don't agree with what she said so there.)

CBW responds:

"Oh, and here's a Special Note to Little Sister who had to go and specifically define what I had glossed over in the earlier narrative. You can't prove any of that happened. In fact, I think when I was pulling you in the wagon too fast and you fell out and hit your head on that pole, it may have done some permanent damage.

I NEVER said put your head on my butt. I said that I was going to HIKE it to you, and to be correctly positioned you'd have to get CLOSE in. Clearly we have different versions of the story. And for the love of Pete, will my sisters just get over it already? Some people. And their lipsticks. And their loose lips!
"


Here comes Baby Sis's attitude right back:

Here's a note to all you lipstick haters: buy a sponge and actually hand wash your glasses/coffee mugs. It comes right off. The only reason I wear lipstick is to take away from the " FRANK BURNS " effect. ( CBW always refers to her own lips as being eerily similar to Frank Burns' chicken lips on MASH- although that's not true ).

ALSO, regarding the "wagon story",um, yes, it most likely DID do permanent damage and I still have the scar. Apparently you've forgotten the night the BOOGIE MAN was on our dock and we had forgotten to feed the pony. You sent Middle Sis and I out to walk in the pitch black dark for the 200 yards to the pasture, while you stood up there in the light picking your finger nails and twirling your hair, protected by the baseball bat in YOUR hand. HMMMMMMMMM


CBW responds to the alleged "Boogie Man" incident and then says this about her own lips:

Oh, and Frank Burns lips? Maybe. But that's only because I don't trace an artificial boundary the size of Oklahoma around my existing lips and fill them in with lipstick. Which is then deposited on every glass this side of the Mississippi.

Little Sister never aggravated me as much as Middle Sister. Until now.


And finally, after biting her lipstick-encrusted lip for too long, Middle Sister finally chimes in:

"...Little sister never aggravated me as much as middle sister did"....OK, whatever!! An excerpt from my diary might read...."Today Chesapeake Bay Child bit me. After I stopped crying, we played house. She made dinner. It was rat poison. Just before I ate it, Mamma came downstairs and screamed. We were all in trouble. Just like the other day, when CBC tried to lick me. She pushed me off of my skateboard. I screamed and ran. Mamma said she didn't care who started it, we were all in trouble." Don't quote me, but I feel this is accurate. - middle sister

Chesapeake Bay Woman, who always has to have the last word, said...

I will confess to this: I did serve up d-con rat poison at a sisterly tea party but I (a) did not know what I was serving and (b) had no intention of having anyone swallow it and (c) was only using WHAT WAS HANDY, HELLO PARENTS??

THE END.
============================================================
p.s. Middle Sis and her Husband; Baby Sis; CBW and the CB Kids; and the CBW Parents will be having dinner together tonight. If anyone spots a mushroom cloud over Mathews County, you can count on it being me after picking up 32 lipstick-stained glasses from every corner of the house.

9 comments:

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

If that's the worst they've got, you have some pretty fine sibs. Nevertheless, you should institute a WYOG (wash yer own glass) rule and enforce it.

Icey said...

Sound like so much fun!!! I will be home all day becasue for some unknown reason Christina has a teacher workday today AFTER ONLY 8 DAYS OF SCHOOL, the first of which was only a half day. I am still stunned.

Daryl said...

Having only one sister, younger, I can say I dont think you did anything that isnt covered in the Cheney Revised Gitmo Addendum to the Constitution.

If my sister didnt read my blog, I would do a post about the things I did to her when she was sleeping ... did you know pinching someone asleep doesnt wake them up?

Word Verif: equizes

Angel Mama said...

The closest to a sister I have is my neice who is 3 years younger, but she moved to Arkansas when she was around 5 or so. I do have some good stories about what my nephews did to ME, tho. I was always the nice one. Hehe!!

Mental P Mama said...

Where are you all going? I need to have a vicarious dinner.

Audrey at Barking Mad! said...

"Oh, and Frank Burns lips? Maybe. But that's only because I don't trace an artificial boundary the size of Oklahoma around my existing lips and fill them in with lipstick. Which is then deposited on every glass this side of the Mississippi."

I read this earlier today and have been laughing about it ALL DAY LONG.

This one reason I don't wear much lipstick if any at all. It makes my lips look as big as Texas. I'm pretty sure on the rare occasion that I do wear it, I frighten small children.

nativedevil said...

enjoy your dinner with the family!

Pueblo girl said...

Stunning sunrise. I'm not usually conscious at sunrise, though I was the other day, and I was surprised at how nice it is. I mght try it again sometime - or maybe not.

Ah, family. Can't beat them, even if sometimes you wish you could.

tj said...

..."Let's start with the pool game called CLAM where one of the younger sisters would have to swim under your legs at the pool, only to be distracted by a strange yellow mist..." - GACK! lol... :oD I liked to of fell out of my chair on that one! lol...

...You know, serving their wine in sippy cups will solve that lipstick issue...lol ;o)

...Hope you all enjoyed your dinner! What I wouldn't of given to be a fly on the wall...*giggle*

...Thanks btw for the sweet comment over on my Spacebook page! And love that photo too! :o)

...Blessings all...