Accomplishments

Yesterday, while hundreds thousands of bicyclists enjoyed the perfect riding conditions in Mathews, I attempted to complete some chores.

It was a valiant but ever so futile effort.

First, I awoke to ants carrying me out of the house the battery on my tractor was dead even though it was just replaced. That is my fault, and it's a long story.

Second, after jump starting the tractor, some spring on the mower deck broke. So the grass, which is currently chin high to a giraffe, was not cut.

Next, I attempted to focus on a work-related project that requires lots and lots and lots of just shoot me now because it's too much photo editing, and have I mentioned that I don't really know anything about photo editing? Or focusing on work-related projects?

But wait, before all this, I managed to sink a boat trailer in creek mud. True story. For another day.

Just about the time I was up to my kneecaps in fiddler crabs creek mud, which has the bouquet of a dead skunk, I was informed that I needed to be in Gloucester to pick up Chesapeake Bay Son from his 8th grade trip. Fifteen minutes ago chop-chop!

I was already late to pick up Chesapeake Bay Daughter from No Man's Land Bohannon, which is a day trip in and of itself. Also, I had creek mud caked to my legs and ants between my teeth.

To expedite the conclusion of this post, I'll resort to bullets, which wouldn't be the first time in the past 24 hours I've considered using them:

-cut my gloveless hands weeding flower weed beds;
-dragged push mower out of garage, more difficult than it sounds given that it was lodged between a generator, an empty oil barrel and an organ. Yes, an organ. Like a piano only an organ. In my garage. Would somebody please take it? Anyone?
-push mower would not start.
-tried to clean kitchen while ants had a pool party in the ponds of Terro poison which now coats my digestive tract my windowsills, doorways, floors and counter tops
-discovered that garbage disposal does not work, and stuffing more scraps down in there does not improve the matter
-cooked supper for famished children while hosting an ant fiesta on my kitchen counters.
-threw in the towel, put on a sombrero and did a cannonball in the Terro pool.

Hopefully you had a great weekend.

If I haven't said it recently, I'd kill for a long, long vacation far away from here.

But I'll settle for a lawn mower that works.