Sunday, June 22, 2008

Woe is She, Part II

Below is another intriguing excerpt from Middle Sister's diary.

Sunday, January 4, 1976

Dear Diary,

This morning I had to feed Thunder. Chesapeake Bay Child was to [sic] lazy. Chesapeake Bay Child and Little Sister skated. Later, CBC said I could skate.

(The rest is entirely illegible. The End.)

-Middle Sister.

Thunder was a pony we had for a million years. Seriously, we had her forever and she didn't die until I was out of college, married and living in my first house. So when a pony shows up at your house when you are, say, 9, and that pony doesn't croak until you're, say, 24, someone with some math skills can calculate how many days that is, and then multiply that number by two feedings a day, and then add one bucket of water dragged from the spigot to the pen per day, and then add hay bales in the winter time hauled by CHESAPEAKE BAY CHILD from the garage to her shed, then add all the brushing, hoof cleaning, curry combing, fly spraying, tack upkeep and MANUAL LABOR EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY CHILDHOOD such that if I WANTED TO TAKE A HALF DAY OFF AND HAVE ONE OF MY YOUNGER SISTERS HELP WITH THE UPKEEP, I feel entitled to ask for it once in a while.

Excuse me, but I must pause for a break because once again we exceeded the recommended amount of math for the week (which for me is none). I'll try to refrain from mentioning numbers or calculations ever again.

That's all I have to say on this topic. Pony maintenance and stable management was very hard work.

Oh, I will also say this: In addition to aforementioned labor, I was the one responsible for lawn maintenance (aka marathon grass cutting sessions), garden labor (shelling endless buckets of peas, snapping green beans until my eyes crossed), and boat bailing (taking a Clorox bottle, cutting an opening in the end, and using it to scoop water out of a skiff the size of Noah's Ark. Except all of the flood waters were inside the boat and it took approximately FOREVER to remove.) Oh!! I was also responsible for parenting Middle and Little Sisters most of the live long day.

I can't seem to recall anything Middle and Little Sisters were responsible for.

Except making inaccurate statements and holding grudges.


tj said...

...Hello CBW! Ooo Sistahs, she's got you on this one! I tried to do the math and my brain bailed out of my left ear after multiplyin' the feedings of said pony. I think the feedings alone came up to 10,950(?)...I think a little kindness to big sistah is def' in order! Maybe ya'll could forgo the lipstick while visiting or maybe tuck the ABC gum behind your ear instead of the wine glass? I'm just sayin' ;o)

...Gosh CBW & Sistahs, I could never kid around like this with my sister. She gets her feelings hurt w-a-y to easily and then gets mad and worse yet - she'll hold a grudge 'til a pig flies by... :o/

...Have a great Sunday girls!

...Blessings... :o)

tj said...

...9 to 24 = 15 years.
...take 15 years x 365 days in a year = 5,475 days.
...take 5,475 x 2 feedings per day = yep, 10,950 feedings.
...and if you add in the water once per day, then that would = 16,425 total trips to feed/water pony.
...okay, I'm done now. My OCD wasn't gonna let me walk away from this :oD

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Thank GOODNESS for your OCD, tj. My ADD would not allow me to focus on the math!

I'm going to steer this ship in another direction later tonight or tomorrow morning. I'll get back to my boring pictures and lengthy, run-on posts about Whatever or Nothing in Particular.

But I just couldn't let this diary thing go until I aired a few frustrations and grievances.

We bicker a lot, but I will say, before either one responds and slams me (again), that we do all get along famously as adults, and either one would give me the shirt off her back. Complete with lipstick stains around the collar.

Happy Sunday.

Mental P Mama said...

Love it! I wish I had some sisters...

Anonymous said...

I'm sticking to my original diary entry, indicating that Chesapeake Bay Child was too lazy to feed Thunder. She was much bigger and stronger than the other siblings at the time. She should have fed Thunder. The other things that she said she was responsible for are less than accurate .... "parenting" us?????? Oh, give me a break, Sybil! Let me know when you get to the entry where you told me I was adopted. (which I wasn't....) Love ya! Middle Sister

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Bigger and stronger? How big do you have to be to shell a pea? Or snap a green bean? Or scoop some horse feed and trot it out to the pony pen?

There are multiple entries in my diary where I talk about having to babysit you two. And I was NINE at the time, thank you very much, put in charge and left alone with a 7-year-old and a 4-year-old.

Yes, I did say you were adopted. Also, remember when I used to tell you that I was really an Indian and not part of the family? This was my way of trying to distance myself from the family because there were times I could not believe we were actually related, such as when you pretended to be Barbara Walters and tape record yourself interviewing us.

And last but not least, an oldie but goodie: When I told you that turkey meat really came from pine trees (because once you get past the bark the wood is so light... and can resemble turkey). I am pretty sure you almost tasted it to find out if that was true.

These things I will confess to.

But I was anything but lazy as it related to Thunder.

Mamma Sybil

Grandma J said...

I feel the love, really I do. I had one of my sisters convinced she was adopted too, because she was the only one with brown our dad, but that didn't count because she was a girl. I think she would have been a whiner no matter what though

foolery said...

That tears it -- I am stopping by the Gas 'n' Sip on the way home for a box of microwave popcorn. Can't possibly come here anymore without microwave popcorn.


Anonymous said...

What CBW isn't telling is that she went away to college, got married, moved away and never laid eyes on that pony again. Who took care of Thunder then??
Also, on an unrelated note, CBW's nickname throughout childhood and adolescence was......TOOTHPICK CHIC. From now on you can refer to her as either CBW or TC...
Love, littlest anonymous.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Toothpick Chick would like to say that Thunder was taken care of by our mother for the most part during those four years in college. The two younger sisters also moved away and had some very interesting sagas that could fill up a book.

And for Little Sis, aka SUNSHINE, who was so small at the time she has no possible way of remembering, that was not a nickname, but something one person in a swimming pool in Wyoming during our cross-country camping "adventure" through every desert wasteland in the United States (which in and of itself could be written about for decades) called me. My actual nickname was simply our last name thanks to sports and such.

So, Sunshine, in this case your facts are not exactly accurate, but again that is likely due to the damage sustained during the wagon incident.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Gas n Sip, Foolery??

We have a Get-n-Zip here and I thought that was hilarious. I believe I like yours better.

Around here, the sipping part would have nothing to do with pepsi. And everything to do with a 12-pack. Or a quart.