Saturday, June 21, 2008

Woe is She

Yesterday I found Middle Sister's diary and began the arduous task of trying to decipher its contents. Her penmanship leaves something to be desired, plus the diary itself is falling to pieces.

Here is one entry that caught my eye:

January 1, 1976

Dear Diary,

Today is New Year's Day. Last night I spent the night at Nanny's. I had a nice time. Chesapeake Bay Child, Little Sis and I played New Year's Eve party. We had fun. That was until we had to go to bed!

This morning when I woke up, someone was at the end of my bed, tickling my feet. It was Chesapeake Bay Child, of course. Today was fair. Sorry it's sloppy.

-Middle Sister

Now, I just have to ask this question: If Chesapeake Bay Child was such a mean and ornery sister, as has been portrayed previously, how come it is clearly documented that I would do something so playful and affectionate as tickling feet? I think that is a very considerate way to introduce someone to her day. I could have sat on her and tickled mercilessly, or I could have stuck a crayon in her ear, but I didn't.

I think this proves I was a good sister. This also proves that even Middle Sister says her penmanship was sloppy.


Mental P Mama said...

Aaaaand, advantage Chesapeake Bay Woman.

Let's see what she serves up next...

tj said...

...Hello CBW! Yeah, yeah, yeah, you were just makin' sure she was alive before you stabbed her in the foot with your bowie ;o)

...Blessings... :o)

Bear Naked said...

Proof positive that you were a kind and loving sister just trying to bring joy and happiness into the life of Middle sister.

Anonymous said...

Good sister, good sister :)

Anonymous said...

Nice SELECTIVE picking there...maybe you should look for one that would read something like this, written by middle sis.
ANYTIME 1970 - 1976
"Today, Chesapeake Bay Child held a talent contest. Clearly I was better at singing into the end of the jumprope, but CBC FORCED Little sis to make her win or else Little Sis could look forward to a a lifetime of torture."
I'd like to take this time to apologize to middle sis for all of those times that you "lost" the talent show which I was NOT allowed to participate in. You should have won, fairly and squarely, at LEAST 50% of the time. I was bullied into "fixing" the contest. In fact, the few times that I made the mistake of saying that middle sis won, I was faced with looking into the eyes of CBC,a demonesque Sybil-like creature, whose gaze of DEATH quickly made me realize that I must change my answer.

kaffy said...

You are a good sister. After all, a bad sister might have dipped middle sister's feet in a bucket of warm water to see if she'd....well you know. wink wink.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Hey, Little Anonymous Sis,

Although I most certainly do not recall RIGGING talent contests, I will concede that due to my highly competitive nature I MAY HAVE suggested that you as the judge should pick me. I can't stand losing. Do you recall the foosball--or as your "boyfriend" would say FRIZZBALL- tournament at the beach??

By the way, I still have that plastic yellow jump rope that we used as a microphone. I could not bear to throw it away.

Based on the karaoke singing we all did here over Christmas, I'd say none of us inherited the Wayne Newton Talent Gene (we are distantly related, as I've mentioned four hundred times on here already).

I will be happy to SELECTIVELY PICK another entry when I get a chance.

Thanks to the rest of you for clearly seeing the truth. Do you see how Little Sis is so quick to defend and bite and snarl? Goes right to Uglyville when I was merely trying to diplomatically point out there was more than one side to Chesapeake Bay Sister.

Middle Sister must be playing bridge or tennis or shopping for more "dewy" lipstick or whatever she does on Saturdays, otherwise we'd have heard from her by now.

Hopefully she will provide a more balanced perspective.....

Anonymous said...

Yes, definately 5pm somewhere! lol
Thanks for stopping by and commenting, I hope you'll continue to return :)

foolery said...

I am absolutely coming to your house for Thanksgiving dinner, and bringing my video camera.

I'm leaving now. Danka schoen.

tj said..."Uglyville"...that's a fun lil' town isn't it?...

...And you do karaoke at Christmas? Can I just come with Miss Fool'ry and stay 'til after the new year? I cook and clean and I make a mean chocolate chip cookie...seriously. :o)

...This is such a fun blog!

...Blessings... :o)

Anonymous said...

Middle Sis here....I wonder why I was apologizing to the diary for a sloppy entry? Oh, well....Yes, I was playing tennis yesterday. Chesapeake Bay Middle Sis's boyfriend and Middle Sis played our first mixed doubles match. Got rained out so we play again tomorrow night. Went to a Mexican restaurant and drank margaritas after we played....too tired to argue on the blog right now!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Those poor dishwashers at the Mexican restaurant. Margarita glasses provide lots of real estate for lipstick stains.

Anonymous said...

blah, blah, blah
(insert sounds of crickets chirping, frogs burping, tumbleweeds floating by )Poor CBC did everything. Middle sis and I just stared off into space like we were dead from the neck up, apparently. We never did anything. CBC was a slave.
Love, Little Anonymous :)
P.S. this comment may not be in the correct place, I glazed over your other story about being the only one who had to cut the grass. This is also a lie.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Sunshine, you know I cut that grass. For here and next door.

In fact I still do.....