Wednesday, June 25, 2008

We're on Vacation



This is exactly the same view of The Creek as the one I posted yesterday, only it is slightly to the left and there is a major Weather Event occurring. For anyone just casually passing through here, please feel free to skip the boring narrative below and jump straight to the assignment at the end. Yes, you have some homework to do.

Major Weather Event pretty much describes most so-called vacations I've been on in recent history.

Today we embark on yet another camping "vacation." Allow me to exercise my ESP and/or sixth sense and make a few predictions:

1. There will be flash floods, hurricanes, and other natural disasters occurring ONLY over the Eastern Shore, and, to be specific, only over our campground. To be even more specific, directly over our pop-up camper.

2. Daughter will have at least one, more likely two, accidents on her bike. Any other time of the year, there is nothin'. On vacation, she will take The Mother of All Spills and come back to the campsite bloody and hysterical. Many tears will be shed. Also by her.

3. I will reach a point, usually by Day 3, where waiting for coffee to percolate on a hot plate while wearing the exact same clothes I've slept in for two days, with no shower, very little sleep and a raging headache, loses its charm. From that point on, I will drive to the store at The Campground and buy the doggone coffee in a cup. Made by someone else. And I will love that person for the rest of my life.

4. After Day 2, Son and Daughter will have grown tired of the pool, the bay, the game room, the putt-putt golf, the bike rides, the boating, the fishing, the HEAT and their mother. They will go into the camper, turn on their video games and remain there until the end of vacation or the end of time. Whichever comes first.

5. There will be several days--no, many--where "Five O'clock Somewhere" will equate to "Noon O'clock Eastern Standard Time." This will remain in effect until July 3rd, or end of vacation, whichever comes first.

The End.

ASSIGNMENT..................................

To help get my mind off the tears I am already shedding at being away from the internet for more than 2 hours, please write a comment telling me about your most disastrous vacation experience. That way, when I come home and tell you all about mine, I will know I am in good company.

I'll be back sometime on July 3rd. Or whenever they evacuate the Eastern Shore of Virginia due to the unpredicted Weather Disaster of 2008.

Also known as my vacation.

22 comments:

Keeper Of All Things said...

I once went camping in our pop up camper with
4 kids ages
6yr
3yr
2yr
newborn
and a Great Dane
it rained for 3 days
Oh yea I earned my mommie badge!! LOL

Patty said...

Aww the dreaded camping trip. Well, lets see, shall I begin by telling you about the time our tent was flooded because we camped to close to the stream and it rained and a water snake was swimming outside the door. Or maybe I will tell you about how I dislocated my little toe while crawling into a sleeping bag and how I had to hop around the campsite on one foot for two days.
I could go on and on but I think you get the idea (giggle)
I hope you have a wonderful time, and I am sure the sun will shine and life will be beautiful.
ENJOY!

foolery said...

Still thinking about it. I am not known for my economy with words, so I may have to make it a post and link to you.

I will tell you that on I was knocked down the last four steps of an airplane stairway when I was about 15. I sprained my ankle and had to hop on one foot through THREE airports. In helping me up off the tarmac my mom spilled her purse without knowing it, and the tickets for our next two flights fell out. She was just about ready to buy more tickets for the five of us (at buy now-fly now rates, which we could NOT afford) when someone found the lost tickets and turned them in. But that was a great vacation so I won't write about that.

Love,

Laurie

bighairenvy said...

The LAST time we went camping, so many awful things happened that I don't want to re-live that trip ever again. Even on paper.

I'm confident that your trip will be nothing but warm sunshine and cool breezes. Oh, and wine by the gallon :)

Anonymous said...

OK, Chesapeake Bay Woman has left me....Middle Sister....in charge of the blog while she's gone! Can you believe it? For now, I'll just say...

Keeper - hats off to you. Were you the only adult on that trip? That sounds insane!

Patty - I'm not sure which one I like best, the snake or the toe incident...so I'm glad to know about both.

Foolery - God works in mysterious ways, doesn't he? I'm glad you got your tickets back...

I guess my worst vacation story was when my ex-boyfriend and I were in Brussels for about six weeks and I decided to break up with him. Long story short...I decided to leave him....I ran away to London because there were no available flights to the US that day, freaked out...and cried myself silly on the plane, went home with a nice British couple who felt sorry for me...for the evening, flew back to Brussels on the next available flight the next morning, ran away again within a few weeks....this was all during the time BEFORE everyone had a cell phone. Chesapeake Bay Woman talked me through the nightmare from an occasional payphone while she was at work.

Thanks, CBW aka Big Sis!! I will never forget your kindness during that time...

Middle Sis

MommyTime said...

I have a whole post about it that is hair-raising... read on and be reassured: Have Ticket, Will Travel

Also, I do apologize for not leaving you any comments in the last week. I have had a whole house full of company and hardly time to shower myself (and I'm at HOME!) let alone read blogs. I'm trying to catch up this weekend... please forgive me.

tj said...

...Good Morning CBW! I know you're gone and probably cookin' thick sliced peppered bacon and farm fresh eggs over an open fire in a cast iron skillet as you are enjoying the morning's first cup of cowboy coffee that was made in an ol' graniteware coffee pot that has been in your family for decades. You undoubtedly are sitting fireside with he who holds your heart listening to mother nature awakening at the dawn of a new day...
"Oh honey, is that morning doves cooing off in distant?" CBW asks, but there is no answer as CBM (Chesapeake Bay Man) is lost in the fire dancing in your eyes. You both become heady from the love and the damp smoke that is clinging in the thick morning air and suddenly... "HACK!" "ACK!" (cough,cough,gag) "ARGH!" (both are waving arms frantically due to being overcome with smoke)...

...lol...Okay, okay, I'm done, I'm done...lol... ;oD Anyway, I really don't have a vacation horror story to share because we never go on vacation unless I can count our honeymoon that was spent at a hunting cabin almost 16 years ago...

...I hope you are enjoying your vacation CBF (Chesapeake Bay Family)! Eat lots o' smores! :oP

...Blessings... :o)



...

foolery said...

Please bring back any uneaten s'mores. Had completely forgotten about the possibility of s'mores. Will be waiting with mouth open like a baby bird, for said s'mores.

Cheep.

Grandma J said...

Well, I guess my recent two day trip to Las Vegas is right up there as just about my worst vacation experience, even though it wasn't a vacation...just a short get-away with 4 canceled flights, and a sleepover in the airport. Add that to blogging and internet withdrawals you might say I thought my world had come to a screeching halt.
Have fun, and walk in that rain...it's like so good for your complexion.

Bear Naked said...

Well there was the time we went to attend my brother-in-law's wedding (8 Hours away by car) and I fell down my mother-in-law's
basement steps the day before the wedding.
Broke my tail bone (OUCH)
Coming home after the wedding was a real pain in the butt. LOL now but I wasn't then.
Husband threw away my new platform shoes I was wearing and said I was never to get any again.(And I haven't.)

soupisnotafingerfood said...

How about the time when we drove from Maryland to the Outer Banks in a full-on hurricane a few years ago? We had booked a room in Eliz. City NC, just in case, but decided to press onward. They assured us we could cancel and get a refund, until we called to cancel, and they refused. We fought & won. We finally made it up to our house, and the rain ended and the rest of the week was great...

OR there was the time when a Nor'easter blew through our OBX vacation, with 3 days of house-rocking wind and rain.

OR the time when we were kids and at our annual beach week in NJ, in our oceanfront condos, and we evacuated due to a hurricane warning. We returned after the worst was past, but neighbors rode it out. They said they became concerned when the ocean began lapping at their sliding glass door.

Of course this only illustrates that I am a bit of a slow learner. East Coast beach vacations? in august? You pay your money & take your chances.

foolery said...

Just stopping by to sweep your steps, pick up the newspaper and turn off your porch light, so no one figures out you're not home and robs your blog blind while you're gone.

Hope you're having a MARVELOUS time, Miss Cheeky. :)

tj said...

...hee,hee...Thought I'd come by and check on the ol' CBW homestead but Miss Fool'ry beat me to it! She's a great gal isn't she? And funny too!... :oD

...Hope you're enjoying your vacation - just want you to know that you are missed...

...Blessings... :o)

soupisnotafingerfood said...

I'm with Foolery and TJ. Our favorite neighbors are away until Saturday and I keep looking over wistfully at their dark, empty house. Then I come over here, and you're not back yet, either. Harumpf. What's a girl to do?

Oooh, I know: Here's a virtual half-gallon of milk and a loaf of bread that I am leaving in your fridge, so that you don't starve upon your return.

Mental P Mama said...

I have no horror vacation stories. Partly because I don't camp. Ever. But I must say, I have enjoyed checking up on things over here. You have a lot of good samaritansas friends Miz CBW! Can't wait to hear about your adventure.

foolery said...

Of course, if the wine is gone, you'll be home TODAY. Is the wine gone?

soupisnotafingerfood said...

Foolery, don't worry, I got 'er covered. Half a gallon of skim milk, a loaf of that white whole grain bread, AND a nice bottle of Merlot. Or Pino Grigio... whichever CBW prefers.

I sure hope she didn't run out though. She'll need extra for the packing up and returning home part.

(Yeah, I'm still peeking across the street to see if you're home yet. You're not. Dammit!)

tj said...

...Wine? Did someone say "wine"? lol...;o)

...Still not back yet, huh? All I've got is virtual bologna so I'll leave that with SINAFF's bread and milk. Be sure and drink the wine first then you won't even know you're eating bologna...lol :o)

...Yeah, you're still missed...

...Blessings...

kaffy said...

She probably forgot the bug spray, her toothbrush, and a spare pair of panties, but she'd NEVER forget the wine. Girlfriend knows her priorities!
Come back soon; we natives are getting restless.

heartshapedhedges said...

Let me think about this....

I love to vacation and travel, but due to a concave checkbook, it rarely happens...but there are a few.....

Like the time I went camping at Lake Havasu. Its on the CA/AZ/NV border (or someplace in that vicinity)...people go for the sun, water fun, etc. The year I went, it was a pouring rain storm, and my friend (a girl) and I stayed in our tent all day, until it began to float away in the river that had formed, and so then we sat in our car.

Or, maybe it was the time that we took 2 children under 5 to Florida for a Make-A-Wish trip....except, I dont remember anybody wishing to leave home at 4am pacific time, and land in Florida at 1am EST. But, that's what happens when the MAW folks put you on a number of layovers and connectors, with your two small chidren who are anxious to see their favorite animation characters. and, no food on any flights, just thought Id add that!!

This is all not to be confused with the camping adventure I took in 7th grade, to Idyllwild, when we had a lightning storm and a ton of rain, so much that all of the beetles in the Western Hemisphere sought out my tent for cover. 7th grade girls and a bazillion beetles do not equal quality vacations.

Hope yours was better!

foolery said...

Well, I have bad news, Cheeky. Your cat got out of the house when we went to feed it, so as I was running to find the cat (I never did, sorry) I must've left the kitchen door open . . .

Yesterday when I went to feed the goldfish I opened your front door and a badger ran out! He had done some damage to your floors, he made a mess of your DVDs, he ate everything in your refrigerator, and he helped himself to your wine. I hope you weren't saving the Latour for a special occasion? He may or may not have ordered adult movies; I can't remember 'cause of the wine.

Stupid badger. Nasty creatures. Oh, and you're out of ice cream. Welcome home!

cats said...

hope you had fun with your family. I have a horror story about someone elses vacation. I rarely go onvacation because of limited funds. This one tops them all. A guy I work with went to Nagshead. His wife is into horses. They had their horses in a trailer hooked to the truck. It came loose and the horses and trailer went flying down the road. While he continued his trip onward, his brother-in- law was in an accident. His car went up under an 18 wheeler and he was beheaded. I'm surprised he still takes vacations at all.
When you think you got it bad, someone else always has it worse.
Love ya and come back soon