Wednesday, June 25, 2008
We're on Vacation
This is exactly the same view of The Creek as the one I posted yesterday, only it is slightly to the left and there is a major Weather Event occurring. For anyone just casually passing through here, please feel free to skip the boring narrative below and jump straight to the assignment at the end. Yes, you have some homework to do.
Major Weather Event pretty much describes most so-called vacations I've been on in recent history.
Today we embark on yet another camping "vacation." Allow me to exercise my ESP and/or sixth sense and make a few predictions:
1. There will be flash floods, hurricanes, and other natural disasters occurring ONLY over the Eastern Shore, and, to be specific, only over our campground. To be even more specific, directly over our pop-up camper.
2. Daughter will have at least one, more likely two, accidents on her bike. Any other time of the year, there is nothin'. On vacation, she will take The Mother of All Spills and come back to the campsite bloody and hysterical. Many tears will be shed. Also by her.
3. I will reach a point, usually by Day 3, where waiting for coffee to percolate on a hot plate while wearing the exact same clothes I've slept in for two days, with no shower, very little sleep and a raging headache, loses its charm. From that point on, I will drive to the store at The Campground and buy the doggone coffee in a cup. Made by someone else. And I will love that person for the rest of my life.
4. After Day 2, Son and Daughter will have grown tired of the pool, the bay, the game room, the putt-putt golf, the bike rides, the boating, the fishing, the HEAT and their mother. They will go into the camper, turn on their video games and remain there until the end of vacation or the end of time. Whichever comes first.
5. There will be several days--no, many--where "Five O'clock Somewhere" will equate to "Noon O'clock Eastern Standard Time." This will remain in effect until July 3rd, or end of vacation, whichever comes first.
To help get my mind off the tears I am already shedding at being away from the internet for more than 2 hours, please write a comment telling me about your most disastrous vacation experience. That way, when I come home and tell you all about mine, I will know I am in good company.
I'll be back sometime on July 3rd. Or whenever they evacuate the Eastern Shore of Virginia due to the unpredicted Weather Disaster of 2008.
Also known as my vacation.