Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Misty--and More

Warning: Exceedingly long post follows in which Chesapeake Bay Woman proves once and for all that she has the writing skills of a third grader problems with attention deficit disorder.

Here is another shot from the recent foggy Saturday. After this, there's only one other picture from that morning I want to share, then I promise to move along to something worse different.

"Misty" was the first word that popped into my head after gazing at this last night. Unable to focus on anything, ever, on the picture much longer, I began thinking about the word "misty." Then my ADD-afflicted brain took off like a Mexican jumping bean down the hairpin highway known as Main Inane Street.

It started with "I get misty," and then went to Frank Sinatra or Bing Crosby; then I stopped by the memory of a college friend who used to imitate Sinatra. Then a strange smell came from the kitchen and I remembered chicken pot pies were baking. Or burning. Because I'd forgotten them.

After making sure no flames were licking the ceiling--this time--I came back and tried reigning myself back in to "misty." Misty of Chincoteague popped into my head. I love Misty of Chincoteague! I love the little island/town of Chincoteague for that matter. Where are we going for vacation this summer?

What, pray tell, does any of this have to do with the photo of a misty creek?

Knowing full well the answer, I then decided to do a google search on ADD since I always joke about having it.

Mind you, this is a self-diagnosis.

Imagine my horror surprise when had this to say about one person suffering from ADD. Note that I have highlighted in red the parts that scared the crap out of me seemed to resonate with me, added my own thoughts in green,and crossed out parts that don't apply. (If the color scheme below and associated random thoughts do not prove my point, nothing will.)

"Sara is quiet 40-year old woman with three kids. As a child she got average grades and was not a discipline problem. Her imagination was so vivid that she daydreamed a lot and had trouble focusing on the teacher, and she was harassed by her parents for being so far away and "in the clouds". Her entire life has been marked by disorganization and procrastination. Her IQ is 152 (I don't know what my IQ is because that would involve numbers, which I do not do) but she feels stupid (especially around numbers). She loves her family but is overwhelmed by the daily routine. (Can I get an Amen?)

Sara has the rarest MBTI temperament: INFP. This temperament is associated with the best writers in history and is said to have the "soul of an artist". She naturally focuses on her inner world and is inspired by imagination. Unfortunately, this perfectly natural temperament trait has caused her to feel different from others and to be looked down upon. She has been unable to find her niche, and she suffers from anxiety and depression, both of which cause an inability to concentrate and mental fogginess.

She is also a perfectionist, a trait associated with giftedness(no, that was Middle Sister), which is one reason she cannot seem to get started on the many artistic projects she dreams up in her head (Blog Fest movie, anyone? How about the reality TV show. Have I mentioned I want to sell photographs, do a calendar, give tours of Mathews and sell things on e-Bay?). Her natural tendency to think divergently causes her to be disorganized and her house is always a mess (Oh thank the stars above! Finally there is a medical explanation for the piles of clutter and clothes surrounding me! I truly am cleaning disabled.).

She has a strong tendency to blame herself and to try and meet everyone else's expectations, which is one reason she is so depressed. Her depression makes it even more difficult to accomplish anything, so a vicious downward cycle has left her feeling completely overwhelmed and worthless. She also has a fatty acid deficiency (who knew?) that became severe after her pregnancies, which has seriously increased her depression and inability to focus."

CBW's Remarks:
1. Holy crap mackerel.
2. I am an INFP (introverted, intuititve, feeler, perceiver) on the Myers Briggs Type Indicator. This is a test used for organizational development, and I've taken it a quazillion times all with the same result.
3. I am NOT some of that other stuff .
4. I've always said that after children I became progressively dumber and more scattered.
5. What is this fatty acid deficiency? Can it be cured by guacamole? How about McDonald's fish fillets? A bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken? Fritos? Please?
6. What's the number of the nearest trained medical professional? Is it Wine-One-One?

It's official. The internet says I have ADD. I'm going to McDonald's now to work on this serious problem.

Pass the french fries. And the fried chicken.


Grandma J said...

Oh I have a headache. I have whatever sydrome you get from reading details! All I needed was Misty and Chicken Pot Pies! See how shallow I am?
Did you know McRibs are back at McD's? My favorite sandwich.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Now I am all "Misty". I'm going for some guacamole and I will be making an appointment for a check up!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Again, my apologies for the ridiculously long post, complete with mind-numbing color scheme and strike-throughs, but when I just jokingly looked up ADD and saw this, I was floored - not that ADD applies to me, but that this particular example was so eerily familiar up to and including the myers-briggs thing of INFP.

Off to the paying job where at least now I'll know why everyone esle can sit there patiently and aall I want to do is anything else.

Country Girl said...

Ok, let's be serious for a minute. You've mentioned this before and I think that secretly, it's not really a joke to you. Maybe you should get it checked out. It's just that I can see it bothers you. And well, I just want you to be happy.
No, it wasn't a ridiculously long post. I thought it was a good one.

Jamie said...

Even more obscure is the XNFP for those who have no clue if they are introverted or extroverted and change on any given day (that would be I). In German "mist" is manure- random thought. And if guacamole can cure belly fat AND fatty deficiencies created by my offspring then it is truely manna from heaven

Trisha said...

McDonald's as the cure to your problems. . . Nice!

Daryl said...

GAH .. I must have ADD because I couldnt focus long enough to read all those little red and green words ... sigh ... and the DMV online says I need to 'come back in 30 minutes,system is unavailable now' .. well in less than 3 seconds I will have forgotten I need to do this .... wait, your post wasnt about renewing your driver's license was it?

WV: shiensef ... like whatever ..

Mental P Mama said...

I think I may need a BC powder.