The April Fool

Instead of expounding on the many reasons why Fools Day should not be limited to the month of April, I will tell about the most memorable April Fools prank in my time on this planet.

In first grade, Pretty Page What's-Her-Name was finishing up her lunch. In those days, a warm bologna and cheese sandwich was considered culinary excellence, and lunch boxes were either tin or paper, as in bag. Dessert was not something we first graders ever brought to school, but today, April 1, Pretty Page pulled out a Milky Way bar.

The entire class stared at her in awe and envy. We wanted a Milky Way bar. Or seven. She s-l-o-w-l-y unwrapped the delectable chocolate candy. In super-duper slow motion she opened up and raised the sugary loaf of HEAVEN to her mouth. We all waited in anticipation as she took that first delicious bite of caramel bliss.

(Insert sound of needle being pulled off record here.)

Imagine our surprise, which shifted to horror, then back to surprise, and then to the entire classroom breaking out in uncontrolled hysterics when she bit down on a block of wood that her exceptionally clever mother had disguised! This Mother Whom I Greatly Admire Yet Never Met even went so far as to write Happy April Fools Day on the block of wood.

Pretty Page Whats-Her-Name has probably forgotten all about that incident. But until I stop drawing a breath and/or my much-obsessed-about, inevitable Alzheimers finally does set in, I will never, ever forget the look on her face that day.

And now, I wonder if there are any Milky Ways around here....