Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Full Moon

I am convinced there is a correlation between the full moon and Crazy. The fact that the Spanish word for moon is la luna, where luna is just 3 small letters away from LUNATIC, proves that I'm not the only one with this theory. Or it proves something, I'm not quite sure what yet. It does demonstrate my elementary knowledge of Spanish, no?

The night I went into labor with my first-born, my son, I spent the entire night staring at that full moon, wondering why in the heck gas pains would be keeping me up for hours on end. Later, when I checked myself into the hospital and heard all the other CRAZIES in there screaming at the top of their lungs, I became convinced that the moon has an effect on mothers-to-be. As well as plain old mothers. And human brain cells. And especially CATS.

This morning, the morning after a full moon, I was shocked to see my cat crouching in the bath tub relieving himself as it flowed down the drain. My first reaction (I always think clearly in a crisis) was to turn the spigot on and scare him away with water. In spite of gallons of water pouring down his back, that cat would not stop until he'd finished his business.

There are several things I learned in this exercise in LUNACY:

1. (Note to self: Clean out the darn cat's litter pan, PRONTO.)
2. A cat despises getting wet, but business is business and that takes precedence over any other emergency that may be occurring, including a cold shower.
3. Crazy Cat relieving self in bath tub = Full Moon.
4. Full Moon + Crazy Cat = wetting in the bath tub
5. Full Moon + Pregnant Lady = Gas Pains Turned to Labor Pains
6. Full Moon + Women in Labor = Bedlam Meets Hell Trapped Inside an Insane Asylum

We interrupt this boring blog to make the following announcement: Too many equations have been used in the making of this post. There is smoke billowing from the author's ears, and her eyes have officially rolled back in her head. Let's try and finish this thing up with no more math, numbers or algebraic equations. Amen.

Of course, it could just be that I forgot to clean out the cat's litter pan, and he was doing the best he could to notify me of my egregious oversight. Maybe I forgot to deal with the cat's pan because of the full moon (or early-onset Alzheimers no doubt made worse by all this atmospheric chaos caused by the full moon).

Or maybe we're just both plain along crazy, there is always that.


foolery said...

I'd say that's one special cat you've got there -- he could have gone on the wall-to-wall carpet with much less effort.

Embrace your inner crazy. Howl at old moon!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Foolery, I've embraced my inner crazy so tight, it couldn't take the pressure anymore.

Stay tuned, I'm working on a posting with the many definitions of the word Bubba. And there will hopefully be some guest input from resident experts. May not make it up by today, but hopefully by Thursday.

Thanks for stopping by.