Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The West Virginia State Flower

With all due respect to current and former residents of the state of West Virginia, the remarks made in this essay do not represent a personal attack on your lovely state. If I were going to attack, I'd talk about missing teeth and kissing cousins and stuff like that. But I digress.

Yesterday on my ride home from work, I received a call from my father informing me that, among other things, he had finally removed the satellite dish from in between our houses. And when I say satellite dish, I mean one of those now-defunct Monstrosities from Circa 1983 that stood 40 feet high and looked like something off the Starship Enterprise.

This symbol of outdated technology currently serves as the West Virginia State Flower until they receive further notice regarding the latest cutting edge technology, such as we now have dial-up internet...and stuff. And when I say "they" I think I mean the state of West Virginia, but I also mean ME, who lives in the next state over; way over. And who is equally clueless with regards to technology, including digital cameras, instruction manuals, curling irons, coffee makers, and satellites, whether cutting-edge or defunct.

In the Era Before Cable, this Great Big Satellite Dish was all the rage. We were the first ones to have it. And the last ones to take it down.

While it is good to know I no longer have to worry about me, my husband, my parents or my children becoming ENSNARLED in the web that was that satellite monstrosity, I also must confess that there is a huge, gaping hole in the space between our houses now (read: ours and my parents') that requires filling.

Maybe we can bring ourselves into the next generation and put in one of those newfangled, rural food courts. Also known as a garden.


Kaffy said...

"Rural food court"--that's toooo funny. Farewell to the Starship. But what did Dad do with it? Is it floating in the Chesapeake as a nesting ground for ospreys, jelly fish, or old discarded boots? Or maybe he fashioned it into a groovy fishing boat. And what about the little green aliens who lived inside? The WVA State flower is no more; the end of an era. Congrats on your bold leap into the 1990s!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Kaffy, he sold it for scrap metal. He's now a millionaire.

Icey said...

I just remember how cool it was to go to your house during college -- so many channels to choose from. Definitely cutting edge! Funny that sticks in my mind when there are so many other details forgotten in the haze of alcohol, oops I mean age.

foolery said...

Ah ha ha ha ha -- this killed me! "And the last ones to take it down" -- ohmigosh. And I love the comment, "He's now a millionaire."

I may have to blog about my family's own experience with a satellite dish, which I haven't thought of in a while.

Rural food courts -- HA! I'm still giggling.