Monday, May 12, 2008

Coastal Flood Watch

Today and tonight we're under a flood watch, which means that AT ANY MOMENT WATER WILL COME GUSHING INTO MY GARAGE, MAKE ITS WAY UPSTAIRS AND DROWN US ALL. It also means that I am sure that the boat we store in our circa-1970's boathouse (in a state of disrepair) will SINK because the tide will rise too high and will smoosh (that's a nautical term) it against the roof of the boathouse, causing water to come gushing in, causing the doggone think to SINK.

And the reason the boat will sink is because it is practically new and we never, EVER, use it, and of course there's only forty-two years of payments left on it. The reason we don't use it is because (a) gas costs more than PLATINUM and (b) using it would imply we know how to navigate.

We don't.

I could very well post a picture of how the tide is up over the dock right now, and I could WADE out to the end of the dock and try and snap a photo of the boat on its way to being SUNK, but that would ruin my whole state of denial. Because if I don't actually SEE it sinking, then there is still the possibility that it isn't (even though it just HAS to be based on how high the water is right now).

In other flooding news, my KITCHEN SINK IS CLOGGED AND THERE IS A POOL OF NASTY, GARBAGE-FILLED BLACK WATER approximately one foot deep lying stagnant in the sink.

When it rains, it pours. It's gonna be a long, sleepless night.

8 comments:

Icey said...

Look on the bright side - with the insurance money you can rebuild the dock/boat house and buy the boat you really want ...

Feel like building an ark myself, but my crazy children and their friends begged to go outside and play in the rain. I saw no reason to say no, even though it would not be an activity I would have chosen. Should have realized they really meant they wanted to play in the mud. Off i go to the laundry room!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Icey, good plan. The boat I really want is FOR SOMEONE ELSE to have a boat and invite us out occasionally. They can be responsible for the upkeep, and I can just sit back and relax and never wonder when it's gonna sink....

I get muddy feet and clothes even on non-rainy days around here. And our creek mud smells like something that's been DEAD for three weeks.

Thanks for commenting! Always good to hear from ya.

cats said...

I know what you mean. At the end of my road the water has run out of the ditches all over the road. This means that beer cans and bottles and debris are floating all over the road.
Not to mention that when you walk out in my yard, it smells like sewage. This is like you because we too live near a creek. it smells like rotting carcasses.
When the sun cimes back out , it will be all normal again. I wonder when that will be? It's been raining for 5 days straight. Sure will be nice to see it again though.
Keep up the good work.
Think SUN!

Anonymous said...

Wow! It's raining there???? We are high and dry over here in Hallieford!!!

MommyTime said...

Ah, yes, the boat you want is the swimming pool I have -- at my sister's house. In exchange, I have the children she wants (my own, she only borrows). It seems like a fair trade. Perhaps you could work out a similar deal for your boat?

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Cats, glad to know I'm not the only one with the less than desireable opinion about that creek mud! And lo and behold, I do see sunshine this morning. I haven't looked in the boathouse yet. I'll save that for after work. (I'm actually scared.)

And ANONYMOUS FROM HALLIEFORD, could that be The Daughter who owes me a Hallieford story? Glad y'all are dry.

mommytime - that's funny about the pool. I think they're as much or more maintenance as a boat. You got the great end of that deal!

Thank you all for commenting. Enjoy the day.

foolery said...

Hey Miss Cheeky,

Didn't see this last night -- are things better or worse there now? I hope the rain has stopped, at least. Stay safe,

-- Laurie

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Foolery - Things are definitely better, although I'm still too scared to walk out on the dock and peer into the boathouse.

Maybe tomorrow.