Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Falling Down

This is a shot of the intersection of Main Street and Church Street in Mathews Court House. That tannish/yellowish building on the right is the doctor's office referenced below by Chesapeake Bay Mother, who has written yet another tale.

Chesapeake Bay Mother says:

" Don't give a person teetering on the brink of senility too much to do in one day, or they will prove themselves faulty.

A case in point: Wednesday, the week after returning from Exhausting OBX (Outer Banks) Vacation, I had two appointments and was on possible standby for baby sitting. I like plenty of nothing, and nothing is plenty for me, to paraphrase a really good Broadway tune.

The first was a doctor's 8:45 a.m. physical, and I evidently passed. Leaving and crossing the street in front of the doctor's office, I found Mathews' only pothole, which was small enough to escape notice but deep enough to hide a small goat. Before I knew what was happening, my whole body was rushing to the ground--head first in the middle of Church Street. Everything in my purse was scattering in the road--pills, glasses, keys, etc.

A bus loaded with senior citizens and driven by a gray-haired gentleman was bearing down on the scene and me, with feet still in the air, seeming to have the hang time of a Michael Jordan jump shot. I fought gravity, hurried to my feet, grabbed my possessions, waved to the bus, smiled and mouthed, "I"m OK," in answer to the bus driver's obvious question. I'll never forget the look of wonder on his face as I thanked God I had worn pants that day. "Shake it off, Chesapeake Bay Mother," I said to myself.

Back home, I frost a birthday cake I baked for teenage grandson, and head out to dentist for an estimate on teeth, which broke apart on exhausting vacation. I am delighted to find out I need a filling and a cap, all of which will have to be paid out of my savings because insurance doesn't cover it. It will be more expensive than anything I've bought for myself in many moons.

I buy grandson a card and come home to make ice cream for his dinner party. By party time, I realize my left foot has somehow paid a price for the morning's tumble. I limp to the party. Chesapeake Bay Woman says it is fear hormone * that dulls pain on impact only to reappear later. Fear it was.

On the bright side, I fell in a fortuitous area--right outside the doctor's office, just up from a local church, and around the corner from the funeral parlor.

Find me a better spot to be flattened like a flounder under the wheels of a busload of seniors on a Wal-Mart quest.** I dare ya.

(CBW Note that cannot wait to be footnoted with a *: That "I dare ya" was added by CBW. I felt it needed to go there. I'm not trying to high jack this post or anything. I don't feel compelled to add my two cents' worth all the time. And I do not have control issues. Really. Now back to my mother's last sentence.)

Chesapeake Bay Grandson is an angel. It's been a full day.

-Chesapeake Bay Mother---------------------------------

*CBW Note: I don't recollect calling it a fear hormone. I said that when you have an accident, your body sends stuff, like adrenaline and other junk, coursing through your veins so that you can handle the situation. "Other junk" is a technical term and "fear hormone" is just not quite the correct terminology. Because I'm nothing if not factual, exact and correct with my details.

**CBW Note #2: This is a "note to self" to contact the driver of that senior citizen bus and get their number so I can arrange to have them take Chesapeake Bay Mother to her next doctor's appointment. Maybe then we can avoid Death by Pothole Big Enough to Hide a Small Goat. And perhaps a little embarrassment.


Living on the Spit said...

Really funny stuff here...I do hope CBM is feeling better and I know you are not a control freak. LMAO...have a great Wednesday!!!

Keeper Of All Things said...

CBW---Don't sell yourself know your 2cents is really worth a dollar!!!!!
CBM---Thank goodness there was witnesses......A bus load of people no less :)
No really....I
hope your ok

Mental P Mama said...

You people are too funny. I am totally coming for a visit. Get that wine on ice. PS: I do hope CBM is okay;)

Grandma J said...

Oh I feel CBM pain. I've done that with no warning and no pothole. I hope all is well with her foot.

Rebeckah said...

Oh my gosh! I am so glad she is ok. AND I am glad she wore pants :). I know she would feel horrible about flashing a bus of senior citizens! She made homeade ice cream? She is a rock star!

Bear Naked said...

CBW Mother
I can tell where CBW gets her wonderful writing style from.
But I have to admit that I was hoping that you would have been wearing a dress.
The mental picture I would have had would be priceless.
Finally some photos of downtown Mathews.
Have you more too share?

Bear((( )))

foolery said...

As soon as I leave my not-worth-the-paper-it's-not-printed-on comment, I'm off to Stumble this. For two reasons. One, it's damn funny, again. Two, HELLOOOOO? Stumble? It's just BEGGING for it.

High fives to CBMother for being resilient and tough and funny and unbreakable. High fives to CBW for managing to be funny on a post she didn't write. High fives to the bus driver for not adding to the problem. And high fives to the goat who narrowly avoided being run over by a bus or stepped on by a pedestrian.

Anonymous said...

Buying yourself a new tooth is about as ungratifying as a new roof, maybe, or a new electrical heavy-up for your home. It's super-butt-expensive and you want to show it off, but it just doesn't seem right and nobody really cares anyway.

Big Hair Envy said...

Poor CBM! Could she even eat the wonderful cake and ice cream at the birthday party???

Karen Deborah said...

awhh poor thing! She does fall a lot what gives with that? hope she didn't sprain her foot. ICE!

Aside from arousing my deepest sympathies, I've had nightmares like that, I enjoyed ya'lls humour in the face of sdversity/ near death, bus experiences.

I love your mother!

check out my word verification on here today
uglpwrhb, does your mind do things with that?

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Now I see where CBW gets her gracefullness from! *snort*

Another entry from CBM was just what I needed today to put a smile on my face!

Caution Flag said...

We bought a foundation once for our house. Nobody cared. We were heart-broken at their lack of interest. Hope CBM's tooth garners far more attention and that her foot had a wonderful time at the party.

bellalately said...

I hope CBM's foot is feeling better!

This shot of main street sent me reeling back in time. Anyone remember a lovely woman, Mrs. Golden who owned a women's dress shop around the corner? We went to church w/her. She had never married, stating that her husband had died before she was born ;)