Thursday, August 21, 2008

New Point

Tuesday I decided to go down to New Point, which is literally the end of the road in Mathews. It's a small peninsula where the Mobjack Bay and the Chesapeake Bay converge. I was caught trespassing only once, down Bavon Beach, but I drove off and did not make eye contact with the nice elderly couple stopped dead in the road waiting to know what I was doing there. If I had to tell them, I'm not sure I could explain myself.

To get to New Point, you do the following:

• Take Route 14 through the Court House.

• Drive past Port Haywood and remember when your friend used to leave you stranded in the middle of the road there when she popped the clutch on the tractor which caused the trailer she was pulling you in to come off the hitch. She kept on going, cackling with glee and leaving you to fend for yourself.

• Drive past Susan.(Susan is not some girl standing on the side of the road. Susan is the name of an area and a post office.)

Drive, drive, drive.

. Pray you don't run out of gas or break down because you won't see another human being for days.

• Drive past Shadow. (This is not the name of a cat on the side of the road. It’s the name of an area and a post office.)

Drive, drive and drive some more.

You are now in Siberia. The End.

I went to New Point to shoot some pictures of our infamous light house (I'll put these up later this week). In true Chesapeake Bay Woman fashion, I took a wrong turn and ended up somewhere near the light house where there were some very interesting water scenes.

A few other things happened. Naturally.

1. I screeched on the brakes when a whole herd of fighting mad fiddler crabs ran across the road. Why would a fiddler crab be in the road, you may ask? In this case it's because the road is at, and sometimes below, sea level. When they showed up one time in my yard and driveway, it was because they were plotting an overthrow. They almost succeeded.

For those of you who know something about fiddler crabs, you might ask why they were on the offensive rather than their typical defensive stance of scurrying as quickly as possible to cover. All I can say is a seldom-seen car down The Wrong Lane in New Point + low-lying New Point road (as in below the mud level of their natural habitat) = the need for a fiddler crab cross walk or better yet, I vote for a fiddler crab resettlement program. I am quite sure they'd do nicely in Louisiana, for example. Or Alcatraz.

2. I got out of the car to snap a few pictures and had to hit the deck immediately when horseflies dive bombed me and tried to carry me out of there. They were the size of flying monkeys and just as scary. I see no need to resettle these things anywhere other than the backside of the world's biggest flyswatter.

3. Swatting madly at the air, and, as my son says, spittin’ and hissin’(with a side order of cussin’), I quickly snapped the pictures before the flies made off with me. I left my car running (because it was sweltering and I needed the a/c) and also left the door open because I was afraid if I closed it, somehow I'd get locked out, and I did NOT want to be stranded in the middle of nowhere with fiddler crabs and flying monkeys attacking me. However, by leaving the door open, I managed to let a few flying monkeys into the car (thankfully, no fiddler crabs made it inside).

Between dodging fiddler crabs in the road and swatting mutant killer horseflies inside the car, it is a wonder I made it out of there without driving up a tree and inflating my airbag.

Speaking of airbags, I will stop now. I feel things crawling on me and I just know it’s either a horsefly or a fiddler crab.


Big Hair Envy said...

Haven't you heard about the evil plan that the fiddler crabs have? They are going to take over the world, starting with Mathews!

Next week, do you want to meet me in Jamaica to snap some photos? I'll bring the bug spray.

Mental P Mama said...

That crab picture made me laugh out loud. I recommend enlarging it... Dare I say it? Could it possibly be an infestation? At least it's not in your yard;)

Big Hair Envy said...

Jamaica. The little area in Middlesex County with a post office...

No exotic trips for me any time soon:)

Grandma J said...

I love the picture of the seagulls the best!
What? you couldn't get an upclose picture of the flying monkeys?

If you click on the picture of the fiddler crab, it's obvious that he's sticking his tongue out at you!

Caution Flag said...

I am so sheltered. The only thing I would be worried about if I were in the middle of nowhere is a man with a gun. I never knew I had to worry about fiddler crabs and horseflies. I won't sleep for days now ...

tj said...

...Oooo girl, horseflies are the devil's housefly. Pure evil. For some strange reason those suckers love my car and when I leave they'll swarm it and ride on the back window, strangest thing you've ever seen...

...Those fiddler crabs are as cute as all get out! I clicked on the photo and it kinda looks like a cat's face with horns and pinchers... :o)

...You need to learn japanese. If for nothing else, it's good for those situations such as trespassing.

...Blessings... :o)


Living on the Spit said...

I thoroughly understand the whole situation and I wish I had been there to see it as I would have laughed even harder then I am laughing right now! I love it when you get going! I know where Jamaica VA is!!! It is an adorable little place! We ended up there one year going to the Urbanna Oyster Festival and obviously missed the turn!!! We should meet for that festival, it's in November...the 7th and 8th.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

BHE - I thought you meant the island of Jamaica, not the post office. Is there anything photo worthy in the boring Jamaica? And I apologize for calling it boring but compared to the island it has to be.

mpm - New Point is hereby officially appointed the Fiddler Crab Infestation Capital of the World.

gj - Those crabs not only stuck their tonges out, but a few of them called me names. I said sticks and stones may break my bones but I could step on you if I weren't so afraid....

flag - You only have to worry about the guns when you're trespassing, which I do on a regular basis.

tj - I like the term devil's housefly. And they were swarming my vehicle too. You should have seen me ducking, crouching, flinching and swattin', not sure if they were inside or outside of the car.

Spit- I haven't been to the Oyster Festival in years. I am going this year if it kills me. And I'm bringing my camera. I'll be the one wearing the crab hat. It's red and has two claws sticking out the side. Foolery has seen it.

Speaking of Foolery, she's invited me to her place for dinner next week. Check it out at

Have a good one, everybody.

Big Hair Envy said...

My blog is doing some crazy stuff right now. I can't log in, and I keep getting an error message bX-w90v67. I have tried to contact blogger support, but they won't let me leave a message because I'm not signed in!!! Would you please try to leave a message on my site and see if it accepts it?? Thank you! (All of my comments cut off about the same time it refused to let me in) Ahhhhhh!

foolery said...

I have a fiddler crab suggestion, but it'll involve possibly millions of dollars.

First, you create an underpass that goes under whatever road you're guarding against a crab invasion. This should cost well into the six figures, and most likely more. You'll have to ask the City of Davis, a college town near Sacramento where much of my family is centered, for exact cost details. Davis built an underpass for herds of stupid frogs who kept crossing the highway and getting squished, thus depleting their numbers.

Here's the beauty of it: predators like cats hide in the underpasses and wait for the frogs to show up. The frogs don't use the underpasses, but when they hop by, on their way to get squished on the road above, the cats jump out and eat them. If it works with frogs, why not with crabs?

You can test the theory out with your mom's cat collection, solving two problems at once.

Ta da! City of Davis, your millions were well-spent after all.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

BHE - I just went to your place and it let me in and allowed me to leave a comment.

Foolery - What an excellent suggestion. I think I'll write a thank you note to the City of Davis and suggest that to improve effectiveness and make better use of their tax dollars, they should hire someone to guide the frogs safely through the underpass and that they have a debriefing with the frogs once they make it through to the other side so they can learn how to improve the experience for them.

Big Hair Envy said...

Thanks my friend. I still can't log in through blogger or update, but I have figured out another way to access my site. Who knows what's going on over there. Wish me luck...

Bear Naked said...

If you enlargen the photo of the crab, he looks adorable and so cute and even seems to be smiling.
(He must read your blog.)

Bear((( )))

Anonymous said...

Flying Monkeys. Oh, great. Now I will have nightmares about that scene in The Wizard of Oz. Thanks a lot!

Where I grew up in east Egypt, Pennsylvania, I could see from my bedroom window an "area" that used to have a post office/general store, and is still on some maps even though it's really basically just a big old brick building. People bought and renovated it after we moved away; it stood empty (and scary!) during my entire childhood.

Karen Deborah said...

you are so funny! TAG.
I think you went to a swamp.
You are a fiddler crab magnet, really that's it. But the horseflies, they bite, yeeks.

Karen Deborah said...

talk about a techno idiot, how about that I just replied to your coment on my own blog instead of here. Do you mind reading it there so I dunt have to type it again? But this is pretty long isn't it? It's been a long day for me too.