Saturday, August 23, 2008

Questions



This picture, shot from New Point, appears to be rather simple. Green, blue and more blue. But underneath, there is an entire ecosystem, undercurrents, other worlds we cannot see, entire universes invisible to the human eye. These words describe both the Chesapeake Bay and Chesapeake Bay Woman. OK, that makes me laugh. Any attempts at being serious always end up making me laugh.

Karen Deborah from Fresh Fixins very kindly tagged me for the following meme. (If you are wondering what the heck a meme is, rest assured Chesapeake Bay Woman wondered too. I am so behind the times it isn't funny.) Thanks, Karen D. and any of my other commenters who list me on their blog rolls. (If you are wondering what the heck a blog roll is, rest assured Chesapeake Bay Woman wondered too. She thought it was something you could eat.)

Warning: This post is exceedingly long and may be hazardous to your state of consciousness. You may need a pillow and blanket.

7 THINGS I PLAN TO DO BEFORE I DIE.

1. Show my children the Grand Tetons and the Grand Canyon. They're grand.

2. Clean my refrigerator, my closet, my basement and my gutters. Maybe.

3. Stalk and marry Harry Connick, Jr.

4. Get rid of dial-up internet. Throw my computer in the creek. Get a laptop.

5. Figure out why some men think that comb-overs are acceptable and attractive.

6. Compete in a marathon. Running, not eating.

7. Meet all my other wonderful commenters at the First Ever Mathews Blogapalooza. Reservations now being accepted at Casa de Chesapeake Bay Woman. Daily (or even weekly or annual) maid service is not available, nor do we have acceptable drinking water. We do have an overabundance of fiddler crabs that may or may not serve as tasty snacks when roasted on a spit.
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7 THINGS I CAN DO

1. Say hello/good morning in Portuguese. Bom dia.

2. Laugh at myself. I do so on a daily basis.

3. Stand on my head. Just ask Chesapeake Bay Son.

4. Climb a rock wall. Just ask Chesapeake Bay Daughter.

5. Operate a boat, a farm-sized tractor and a monorail, though not simultaneously. Yes, a monorail.

6. Say I am distantly related to Wayne Newton and not be telling a lie. Though I am not necessarily proud.

7. Trespass trying to take pictures for this blog. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't, depending on who is reading this.
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7 THINGS I CANNOT DO

1. Housework.

2. Horror movies.

3. Go to the dentist, even though I was told 7 years ago I needed to have surgery to save a tooth. It is just about gone and I think it is impacting my brain.

4. Say no, unless the question is, "Are you concerned about the sheer volume of sodium and fat you consume every time you down an entire bag of potato chips?"

5. Jump on a trampoline and laugh simultaneously. You do not want to know.

6. Find my keys.

7. Multi-task. Or stay focused. Wait. What was the question again?
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7 THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO THE OPPOSITE SEX

1. Intelligence and wit.

2. Ability--and willingness-to sit and converse on a variety of topics without conceit and insensitivity. Takes a genuine interest in what I have to say.

3. Looks.

4. Multi-talented/Renaissance Man

5. Strength, both spiritual and physical.

6. Ability to write. I've been involved with men who can't write, and it is a severe impediment.

7. Willingness to sleep outside under the open sky with no roof, no plumbing, and only the sounds of nature and our own imagination to keep us entertained. He wouldn't have to do this always, but he just has to be willing to do it occasionally, spontaneously, or at all, without thinking twice.

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7 THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN

1. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

2. I'm getting ready to blow a gasket.

3. We have an infestation!

4. Why do these things happen to me?

5. I'm going to the grocery store.

6. Close enough.

7. I love you.

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7 CELEBRITY ADMIRATIONS

1. Harry Connick, Jr. The End.

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7 FAVORITE FOODS

1. Anything Mexican.

2. Anything Vietnamese.

3. Anything Thai.

4. All vegetables, including beets, brussel sprouts, kale, and turnips. Yes, even turnips.

5. All seafood except squid. I don't do tentacles. J'adore scallops.

6. I'm too tired to write any more. Pass me a blanket and an extra pillow.

7. Is anyone still reading this?
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7 PEOPLE WHO NEED TO DO THIS

1. Fidel Castro.

2. My Mother

3. Joe Biden.

4. TJ, if she hasn't already done this one.

5. Living on the Spit, if she wants to.

6. Rebeckah, if she wants to.

7. Anyone who wishes to answer these questions. Post your answers on your site and have fun.

Thanks again, Karen Deborah.

That was exhausting. Anyone have any potato chips?

15 comments:

Bear Naked said...

OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!

WAYNE NEWTON??????????

Goodbye Chesapeake Bay Woman, it was nice meeting you.
(Just kidding)
Have a great weekend.

Bear((( )))

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Yep. Wayne Newton. That's right.

We have Chesapeake Bay Mother to thank for that. It's her side of The Family--a clan that hailed from somewhere near Fredericksburg, VA. I'll have to get her to write about it.

Or not.

Rebeckah said...

Wow, that is a lot of things : ). I will do it as soon as I can think clearly...(That doesn't happen often.) I am VERY impressed about standing on your head AND climbing a rock wall! Very cool about the marathon also. WOW! Hope your weekend is delightful! I also hope you get rid of dial up soon. I didn't even know people still had that : ). Oh, and GOOD LUCK with Harry! I think you will be very happy together!

Grandma J said...

Boy CBW, you are so much deeper than me on so many levels!

I'm not related to anyone famous! I am afraid of fiddler crabs and I don't like Vietnamese food...or any Asian food. Silly I know.

You forgot to say you have a ride-em lawn mower!

Danke Schoen

tj said...

...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz *snort*grumble,grumble*turn*smack,smack,smack*...Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*mumble,mumble*drool*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*giggle*smile*smack,smack,smack*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*turn*grumble*smack,smack*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*snort*Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

tj said...

...hee,hee,lol...Oh now, I couldn't resist! *wink*wink* GJ is right, you are so much deeper than me too on so many levels... Whatta fantastic person you are CBW!

...And I'll forgive the Wayne Newton in lieu of Harry Connick Jr. I can listen to him 'til the cows come home. And then when they do come home I load 'em up and drop 'em off far away just so I can listen to him some more! lol... ;o) (too much coffee already, can you tell? ;o) You and I have the same taste in music...

...I rarely get tagged and it's no wonder with some of the crazy comments I leave... ;o)

...Love the blogapalozza idea too!

...Blessings CBFamily... :o)

Grandma J said...

UPDATE!
Remind me to make a note to tag tj every time I see a meme (or momo, mumu or mama).

soupisnotafingerfood said...

You had me at "potato chips." And also, Mexican Food. Still more proof we are distantly related. Though I am pretty sure I am NOT related to Wayne Newton.

Keeper Of All Things said...

Wow that was a long post but soooo worth it
However I did need a snack....nothing new i always need a snack...

Mental P Mama said...

Those are good....I have to do this one, too. And Joe Biden? Love it.

tj said...

...lol...Grandma J, you kill me...lol... ;o)

Big Hair Envy said...

Helloooooo! Dial-up here! I'm going to ask Santa to bring me a laptop for Christmas:)

I am SO in for the Mathews Blogapalooza! Could that be organized around the same time as the Oyster Festival? I'll bring my own tent......and wine!

Karen Deborah said...

grandma j kills me she is so funny! You did an awesome job with the meme, momo, mumu, anyway it was hilarious which is why I did it in the first place to tag you.
Mostly I think those things are kinda dumb. Whoops did I say that out loud? There goes my blog ratings, what ratings?
BWAHAHAHAHHHHHHHAAAAA
29 gallons of pudding coming right up! If you run a marathon you got it coming.

Anonymous said...

7 THINGS I PLAN TO DO BEFORE I DIE.

1. Breakfast.
2. Lunch.
3. Siesta.
4. Dinner.
5. Shave my beard.
6. Catch one of the last games at Yankee Stadium.
7. Invade Florida.
--------------------------------------------

7 THINGS I CAN DO

1. Scare the wits out of my brother Raul.
2. Tie a cherry stem with my tongue.
3. A great Karl Marx impersonation.
4. Make Mac & Cheese.
5. Extract important information from my advisers.
6. Hey, I'm related to Wayne Newton, too! That capitalist pig.
7. Stand up and walk to the toilet all by myself.
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7 THINGS I CANNOT DO

1. Break dance (any more).
2. Watch "American Idol."
3. Touch my toes.
4. Govern Cuba.
5. Get a comb through my beard.
6. Find my keys.
7. Order Pay-Per-View movies.
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7 THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO THE OPPOSITE SEX

1. Allegiance to Mother Cuba.
2. Obedience.
3. The finest of mustaches.
4. Ability to do back-bends and walk-overs.
5. Must love long walks on the beach and puppies.
6. Really big hooters.
7. Snappy salutes.

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7 THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN

1. "Arrest this man!".
2. "A revolution is a struggle between the past and the future."
3. "We have an infestation!"
4. "Why do these things happen to me?"
5. "I'm going to the grocery store."
6. "I believe that all of us ought to retire relatively young."
7."My Cream of Wheat is cold."

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7 CELEBRITY ADMIRATIONS

1. Karl Marx
2. Vladimir Ilyich Lenin
3. Jack Nicholson
4. Mao Tse Tung
5. Jenny McCarthy
6. Josef Stalin
7. Jerry Lewis

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7 FAVORITE FOODS

1. Pringles
2. Anything Vietnamese
3. Dirty martinis
4. Mama's gruel
5. Ratatouille
6. Glop
7. A burrito as big as my head
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7 PEOPLE WHO NEED TO DO THIS

1. My brother Raul, if he knows what's good for him.
2. My chambermaid, Olga.
3. Joe Biden.
4. TJ, if she hasn't already done this one.
5. George Bush.
6. Johnny Carson -- no, wait, he's passed on. Is he dead? Okay, Ed McMahon.
7. Wayne Newton, if he knows what's good for him.

Love and kisses,

Fidel

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Oh, who knew Fidel had such a sense of humor? I am muy impressed and am still laughing. Muchisimas gracias for that.

It's funny that this is the one post that Foolery didn't comment on.....or did she?