Below is a short list of random thoughts from my vacation:
1. I feel like I've been pulled backwards through a keyhole.
2. I feel like a one-legged man in an a**-kickin' contest.
3. I sang "Brick House" with Chesapeake Bay Father, Middle Sis and Little Sis during a Freak and Rare Karaoke Incident. Ears and eyes may never be the same again. And CB Son filmed it.
4. I met lovely Meg from soupisnotafingerfood and proved once and for all that a 97 year-old nursing home patient has more computer savvy than I do. It was great meeting her and her family.
5. As a practical joke, I encouraged my children to put some raw hamburger meat IN THE BED of a houseguest who is a vegetarian. It sounded good--if not hilarious-- at the time, but the shame was we forgot about it. And Vegetarian House Guest didn't find it until 3:00 a.m. after the meat had soaked through the sheets. This was most unpleasant, in spite of how funny it seemed at the time I suggested it.
6. Chesapeake Bay Woman, also known as me or I, spilled enough red wine all over white carpets and soaked a bed with raw hamburger meat to ensure that her security deposit is not only depleted, but will amount to this by the time the cleaners are done assessing the damage: Please trot down to the bank and take out a second mortgage.
7. No matter which bathing suit I put on, be it the one-piece, or the "old woman and the skirt"-style, or the two -piece that I felt necessary to purchase after realizing I was the ONLY female on the entire East Coast wearing anything but a two-piece, no matter which one of those I put on, I would ride the crest of a wave only to be flung fiercely down into the sand at which point any part of any bathing suit I had on ended up here: wrapped around my head or conveniently located 500 yards away up on the beach where this many people were watching the activities unfold: FOUR HUNDRED MILLION, or the equivalent of every single family east of the Mississippi.
Because that's who we vacationed with. Every single family east of the Mississippi.
Thank goodness I'm back in non-civilization. Civilization and I don't mix well.
Can't wait to get caught up! Right now I have to get ready for a crab steam, which is not where Chesapeake Bay Woman jumps into a pot of boiling water, but where she wishes she could.
I missed everyone and look forward to getting back to "normal" whatever that is. Hopefully it will involve some pictures and some writing that is above first-grade level. First-grade is about the best I can do today. And probably tomorrow too.