Questions

This picture, shot from New Point, appears to be rather simple. Green, blue and more blue. But underneath, there is an entire ecosystem, undercurrents, other worlds we cannot see, entire universes invisible to the human eye. These words describe both the Chesapeake Bay and Chesapeake Bay Woman. OK, that makes me laugh. Any attempts at being serious always end up making me laugh.

Karen Deborah from Fresh Fixins very kindly tagged me for the following meme. (If you are wondering what the heck a meme is, rest assured Chesapeake Bay Woman wondered too. I am so behind the times it isn't funny.) Thanks, Karen D. and any of my other commenters who list me on their blog rolls. (If you are wondering what the heck a blog roll is, rest assured Chesapeake Bay Woman wondered too. She thought it was something you could eat.)

Warning: This post is exceedingly long and may be hazardous to your state of consciousness. You may need a pillow and blanket.

7 THINGS I PLAN TO DO BEFORE I DIE.

1. Show my children the Grand Tetons and the Grand Canyon. They're grand.

2. Clean my refrigerator, my closet, my basement and my gutters. Maybe.

3. Stalk and marry Harry Connick, Jr.

4. Get rid of dial-up internet. Throw my computer in the creek. Get a laptop.

5. Figure out why some men think that comb-overs are acceptable and attractive.

6. Compete in a marathon. Running, not eating.

7. Meet all my other wonderful commenters at the First Ever Mathews Blogapalooza. Reservations now being accepted at Casa de Chesapeake Bay Woman. Daily (or even weekly or annual) maid service is not available, nor do we have acceptable drinking water. We do have an overabundance of fiddler crabs that may or may not serve as tasty snacks when roasted on a spit.
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7 THINGS I CAN DO

1. Say hello/good morning in Portuguese. Bom dia.

2. Laugh at myself. I do so on a daily basis.

3. Stand on my head. Just ask Chesapeake Bay Son.

4. Climb a rock wall. Just ask Chesapeake Bay Daughter.

5. Operate a boat, a farm-sized tractor and a monorail, though not simultaneously. Yes, a monorail.

6. Say I am distantly related to Wayne Newton and not be telling a lie. Though I am not necessarily proud.

7. Trespass trying to take pictures for this blog. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't, depending on who is reading this.
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7 THINGS I CANNOT DO

1. Housework.

2. Horror movies.

3. Go to the dentist, even though I was told 7 years ago I needed to have surgery to save a tooth. It is just about gone and I think it is impacting my brain.

4. Say no, unless the question is, "Are you concerned about the sheer volume of sodium and fat you consume every time you down an entire bag of potato chips?"

5. Jump on a trampoline and laugh simultaneously. You do not want to know.

6. Find my keys.

7. Multi-task. Or stay focused. Wait. What was the question again?
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7 THINGS THAT ATTRACT ME TO THE OPPOSITE SEX

1. Intelligence and wit.

2. Ability--and willingness-to sit and converse on a variety of topics without conceit and insensitivity. Takes a genuine interest in what I have to say.

3. Looks.

4. Multi-talented/Renaissance Man

5. Strength, both spiritual and physical.

6. Ability to write. I've been involved with men who can't write, and it is a severe impediment.

7. Willingness to sleep outside under the open sky with no roof, no plumbing, and only the sounds of nature and our own imagination to keep us entertained. He wouldn't have to do this always, but he just has to be willing to do it occasionally, spontaneously, or at all, without thinking twice.

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7 THINGS I SAY MOST OFTEN

1. I'll sleep when I'm dead.

2. I'm getting ready to blow a gasket.

3. We have an infestation!

4. Why do these things happen to me?

5. I'm going to the grocery store.

6. Close enough.

7. I love you.

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7 CELEBRITY ADMIRATIONS

1. Harry Connick, Jr. The End.

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7 FAVORITE FOODS

1. Anything Mexican.

2. Anything Vietnamese.

3. Anything Thai.

4. All vegetables, including beets, brussel sprouts, kale, and turnips. Yes, even turnips.

5. All seafood except squid. I don't do tentacles. J'adore scallops.

6. I'm too tired to write any more. Pass me a blanket and an extra pillow.

7. Is anyone still reading this?
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7 PEOPLE WHO NEED TO DO THIS

1. Fidel Castro.

2. My Mother

3. Joe Biden.

4. TJ, if she hasn't already done this one.

5. Living on the Spit, if she wants to.

6. Rebeckah, if she wants to.

7. Anyone who wishes to answer these questions. Post your answers on your site and have fun.

Thanks again, Karen Deborah.

That was exhausting. Anyone have any potato chips?