Monday, April 13, 2009

Decisions



This is another picture I took from the Seabreeze on a cloudy but calm Thursday morning. The water was as smooth as glass.

Today the entire Chesapeake Bay Family minus Middle Sister did what many other families across the world did: we gathered at the dinner table to discuss names for my mother's killer goose.

OK, so maybe we were the only family on the planet discussing goose names at the dinner table; that's what makes us certifiably crazy unique.

As of this moment, Chesapeake Bay Mother has not made a final determination and is asking for your help in the decision-making process. She has narrowed it down to 3 possibilities:

1. Gustav (or Goosetav)
2. Bruce (Bruce the Goose or Bruce Willis but Bruce or Brucie for short)
3. El Ganso (Ganso for short)


Chesapeake Bay Son preferred El Conquistador, but CB Mother says that's too long. Almost all of her animals have two-syllable names.

According to her, the name must flow naturally from the lips when she's screaming for the beast to come in at night or to come back from swimming too far down the creek. So, picture a woman pacing back and forth on the shoreline hollering this name up Queens Creek and into the surrounding areas since sound carries very well on the water.

If you were the goose, which one would you prefer? Remember that you'd hear the name multiple times a day, at very high decibels, especially if you swim too far up the creek (with or without a paddle).

If you were one of our neighbors, who are frequently treated to The Chesapeake Bay Mother Show in which she wanders the neighborhood calling for the goose when he goes missing, which name would you prefer hearing, and remember it will be at very high decibels.

If you were Chesapeake Bay Mother and you had to call this name out every day for the rest of your life, at very high decibels, which name sounds best?

If you were Chesapeake Bay Woman, wouldn't you be somewhat concerned that the primary topic of discussion around the Easter dinner table involved a nameless goose and the internet contest to name said goose?

If you were Chesapeake Bay Woman, how would you ever know if you were losing a grip on reality, when your actual reality involves nameless geese and an internet contest to name said goose?

23 comments:

Grandma J said...

How about Chesapeake Bay Mother just pace up and down the neigborhood streets calling out my name.....at high decibels.

My real name of course, like this....

Janice, Janice, Janice! only louder.

kaffy said...

Bruce the Goose. I like the idea that CB Mother would be yelling "Bruce!" at the top of her lungs. The neighbors may think she's calling for her boyfriend, and that would make for some good goose gossip.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

GJ - There is something oddly familiar about that name of yours.....

Kaffy - Bruce does work well to deflect attention off what she's really calling for, which is a crazed beast of a goose.

I'm headed back to work today, unfortunately. Hope everyone has a great Monday, I'll be back on here later tonight perhaps with a verdict on the goose's name.

Life will be so boring after this daggone thing is named. Whatever will I write about?

mmm said...

It is easy to hear "Goooosetaaav" (Gustav) resonating operatically... If his name is to bellowed repeatedly, it may as well have a musical quality about it...

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

BRUCE!!!

Annie said...

What a wonderful photo...absolutely perfect!

And the goose's name...El Ganso, or Ganso for short!!! Runs off the lips/ tongue whatever...

I think Ganso runs more smoothly than Gustav, but that depends on whether the geese likes hard consonants or soft!

Mental P Mama said...

Gustav gets my vote. But I really prefer Foie Gras.

Anonymous said...

I think Bruce is the one that is best for the goose. Goostav is too close to our grandfather's name and I already can't remember the other one...oh, yeah...el ganso. She wouldn't be screaming El Gonzo at a high pitch through the neighborhood when it's time to go night-night. But, I can still hear her yelling "Saaaaameeeee!" For Sammy Davis Jr.

-Middle Sis

Anonymous said...

I prefer Bruce, or Brucie for short. It is short and sweet. My husband and I use it for a nickname for one of our cats. It goes back to this song we like called " Don't bring me down." In the song it says Don't bring me down, Bruce, I'll tell you once more before I get off the floor, Don't bring me down, down , down. I know you probably think this is nuts, but it is true.

My cats names always end in Y. LIke Sonny, Cheesy, Nosey, Smedley,Rosy, Tommy, and Brucie.I also had cats in the past named Molly and Stinky. Therefore I think Bruce the Goose fits.

cats said...

The comment above is cats, don't know why it didn't come out.

Anonymous said...

Heaven help the poor boyfriend who gets treated to Grandmother (or mother, depending on the girl) start yelling at him from across the yard on the 1st date.

Or, seeing Grandfather load the shotgun while muttering something along the lines of "Last straw...no more for you Bruce".

Or worse yet "..will show that Bruce what a shotgun wedding really means"

Signed,
Bruce

Karen Deborah said...

You really didn't like "Nasty"? a mean goose who poops and pecks and is well you know, a goose.... Nasty is perfect. Watch Charlotte's Web. But then again it is the decision of your lovely mother. Happy Easter friend.

Anonymous said...

That goose is a JERK. Maybe you should call him JERKEY ( although I liked some of the others we mentioned at the dinner table..like LEROY and STANLEY ).
There I was, minding my own business trying to retrieve something from the car, when out of nowhere the goose appears on the doorstep...all puffed up, bill raised and hissing at me. He obviously wasn't going to let me in, so I tried to distract him by running away. Then I made a quick run back to the door and he was chasing me sending pangs of horror throughout my bones. And, OF COURSE I struggled to get the door open as I checked over my shoulder to see how close he was getting, and he got WAAAY too close. He spent the rest of the day pacing around my car contemplating his next move. What a jerk!
Love,
Baby Sis

Daryl said...

Oh I am so sad my suggestion didnt make the final cut .. so I dont care what CPM yells .. sniffle, what? You didnt know I was a sore loser?

Anonymous said...

William Webster Downey

foolery said...

I like Bruce best, but I think a two-syllable name works best for bellowing. So . . . Ganso, which is entirely original in a non-hispanic community.

I was no help at all, was I?

Also, Cats has a cat named Smedley? I have to tell my daughter "Smedley" that there is a cat in Virginia with her name. : )

Anonymous said...

Well, I was all set to vote for Gustav (which is actually pretty clever) when I kept reading and pictured your mom out there yelling El Ganso. That would be pretty damned funny. Please let me know when the goose is loose (ha ha) so I can go down my lane and listen for Chesapeake Mom

Anon Hallieford Res.

Anonymous said...

I think Baby Sis might have found the flaw in my dating technique....I've always thought the girls liked being chased :)

Bruce

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

It looks like there's still much debating left to do on this topic of naming Mr. Goose. That's good because I won't be able to talk to Chesapeake Bay Mother about it until Thursday or Friday.

I printed off all the comments and gave them to her, and she loved them all. But it comes down to practicality. If this were a horse, we could have a "show name" such as "El Conquistador del Ganso y Foie Fras de Nasty." However it has to be short and sweet, so we're down to these 3.

There's so much I"d like to say in response to some of these comments...but I don't have time this evening. Life really puts a damper on my blogging.

Thank you all for contributing and for commenting, it's very rewarding to come home and read these.

-cbw

p.s. To Anonymous Mathews Native if she happens to read these comments, which she probably won't (she commented late in the day yesterday or day before on a previous post)- I did see your comment about the zero-turn lawn mower and expect a full report at BLog Fest. I am especially interested to hear about the run-in with the swing set because, for example, if I were to run head-on into a stump or a tree, hypothetically speaking of course, wouldn't I fly off the front of the thing if, for example, I forgot to fasten my seat belt? It just seems odd that there's nothing out front to break the fall.

Have a great evening, all.

big hair envy said...

"Bruce" does not have two syllables; however, I can clearly hear CBMother shouting "Bruce WILLIS!! Get over here, NOW!!!"

People will be clamoring for a celebrity sighting!!!!! Perhaps I should have suggested "Tom" Cruise...

Golden To Silver Val said...

Bruce or Brucie...LOL or Bruisy in honor of all the bruises he can leave on the buttocks.

foolery said...

My cat Stella is officially Stella Zamboni (after the ice grooming machine, which is terminally cool). My friend Shirley had a poodle mutt named

Bebe Calcasieu Mutt-Mutt Streaker Burnham

and you'd better believe they hollered that name.

So.

How about El Ganso Bruce-Gustav? It actually has music to it, and CBMother will figure out quickly what to holler.

Best of luck.

Susan said...

I have to give my vote to Gustav. In fact, growing up in Germany, there was a goose named Gustav in the old Donald Duck/ Mickey Mouse comic books we read. Maybe that's why I find it so fitting? Still a great name though. Bruce does sound a bit too much like she's calling a family member or spouse.