Below is a recent conversation between Chesapeake Bay Woman and Gustav, the killer beast of a
Gustav, to himself: (Jeeminy Christmas. What does she want now? Quick, maybe I can get away before she starts yackin' aimlessly. She always accuses me of being evil. Little does she know I have good friends in high places, like California and Texas. Canada even.)
CBW: Hey, Gustav. I never spent much time on Facebook back in the Dark Ages when I had dial-up internet, but now that Jim from Hallieford has hooked me up and dragged me into the current century, I've been visiting more frequently. Imagine my surprise when I logged on last night and saw you conversing with people--people I know!
Gustav, beginning to swell with pride: Oh, well then, that's different. Let me slow down for a chat. Yes, of course I have a Facebook account, I even have a fan club. I have friends--and lots of them. Many of them are coming to Blog Fest 2010, which is exactly a month from today, and last time I checked there's no law saying I can't be friends with your friends.
CBW: (Insert sounds of crickets chirping here because CBW has done this much to prepare for Blog Fest: a big Gustav egg-- if Gustav could actually lay an egg, which he can't, unless there's something I'm missing. This ridiculous sentence is now over.)
CBW: Blog Fest is exactly one month from today? One month? Just the other day it was four months away. One month?
Gustav: Girlfriend, I don't stutter. Hiss, yes. Stutter, no.
CBW, frantically pushing the internal emotion button labeled Avoidance and Denial for Survival, because she has done nothing to prepare for Blog Fest other than think about it: OK, well, never mind about Blog Fest and Facebook. Do you think it's at all possible for you to smile for the camera? Would it kill you?
Gustav: It might. Anyway, I am smiling! It's your tough toenails if you can't see it. But if you insist, I'll try harder. How's this?
p.s. Big Hair Envy and I do intend to
p.s.s.t. Does anyone want a