Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A Conversation with Gustav


Below is a recent conversation between Chesapeake Bay Woman and Gustav, the killer beast of a winged demon goose who resides next door at CB Mother's wildlife refuge:

Gustav, to himself: (Jeeminy Christmas. What does she want now? Quick, maybe I can get away before she starts yackin' aimlessly. She always accuses me of being evil. Little does she know I have good friends in high places, like California and Texas. Canada even.)

CBW: Hey, Gustav. I never spent much time on Facebook back in the Dark Ages when I had dial-up internet, but now that Jim from Hallieford has hooked me up and dragged me into the current century, I've been visiting more frequently. Imagine my surprise when I logged on last night and saw you conversing with people--people I know!


Gustav, beginning to swell with pride: Oh, well then, that's different. Let me slow down for a chat. Yes, of course I have a Facebook account, I even have a fan club. I have friends--and lots of them. Many of them are coming to Blog Fest 2010, which is exactly a month from today, and last time I checked there's no law saying I can't be friends with your friends.

CBW: (Insert sounds of crickets chirping here because CBW has done this much to prepare for Blog Fest: a big Gustav egg-- if Gustav could actually lay an egg, which he can't, unless there's something I'm missing. This ridiculous sentence is now over.)

CBW: Blog Fest is exactly one month from today? One month? Just the other day it was four months away. One month?

Gustav: Girlfriend, I don't stutter. Hiss, yes. Stutter, no.

CBW, frantically pushing the internal emotion button labeled Avoidance and Denial for Survival, because she has done nothing to prepare for Blog Fest other than think about it: OK, well, never mind about Blog Fest and Facebook. Do you think it's at all possible for you to smile for the camera? Would it kill you?

Gustav: It might. Anyway, I am smiling! It's your tough toenails if you can't see it. But if you insist, I'll try harder. How's this?



p.s. Big Hair Envy and I do intend to talk about focus on Blog Fest over the next week(-ish), so thanks for your patience.

p.s.s.t. Does anyone want a winged demon goose on the noose loose?

16 comments:

Annie said...

First photo...great! Last photo...mmm. Was he telling you to get lost?

Have fun preparing for Blog Fest. Lucky you.

Wintertime here. Brrr. All of 3 degrees overnight (celsius) to about 20-22 during the day currently. Not too bad outside. My house is a bit cold though!

I think the above is an early entry to three thing Thursday. Maybe it was about thirteen thing Tuesday!

Mathews Mark said...

ingledCBW back up put the bottle down and take a cold shower! You have a month left! What did I tell you about talking to the psycho goose. He only listens to top CBW (your Mom)the only thing you are gona get out of him is a peck in the ass! You need to talk to Mr. Seagull, who by the way left me a present on my windshield. He said he would come and see you as long as you hide AM's gun. He has some great idea's for Blog Fest (like a bombing run with all his friends over Baymans beach)and bringing all his little blood sucking wing friends to your cook out, asking the jelly fish to show up in force that weekend and seeing if mother nature can bring us some real good thunder boomers for kicks and giggles!! On second thought maybe AM should bring her gun! You might want to think about picking the bottle back up forget the shower and go give Top CBW (your mother)and the goose a big old drink! Oh and by the way I have lined up a boat ride (TOPS OPTIONAL BOOZE CRUISE)let see what mr. Seagull can do to mess that up. I think he took it personal when I tied a string around his leg and let the kids use him as a kite the other day, oh well he will get over it.MM

Ann Marie said...

I don't go anywhere without my gun so the second thought is the best one..

Kate said...

LOL Gustav sounds like such a misunderstood fella. :-)

WV: splatee... What will happen to Gustav if he makes good on MM's predictions and AM hunts him down! LOL

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

I'm so excited!!!! I cannot wait!!!
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Caution Flag said...

Now wait a minute. You're on Facebook and you haven't sent me a friend request? What does that mean...

Trisha said...

Well . . . Gustav's smile leaves a bit to be desired!

Daryl said...

I am mentally packing ...

deborah said...

Gustav has a facebook page? I will have to look him up. Gustav, since he is a well-cared for companion goose, has very high regards for himself. I am skeerted of them gooses..they bite hard! But, really, you should listen to him. Maybe have a dinner in his honor (Pecking Duck anyone?) during BlogFest?

Mrs F with 4 said...

Gustav knows exactly how I feel about geese, and what happened to his Canadian cousin after our last encounter. He should be GLAD I'm not coming to Blogfest. Although, on that theme, perhaps you might ask him if HE'S the one who's snaffled my visa, in a sneaky pre-emptive strike?

WV: unwoota. The opposite of Woot! Woot! What Mrs F is saying because US Immigration do not love her.

Grandma J said...

Oh how I miss Gustaf! One month? Holy moly!! I'm so excited, and can't wait to see everyone again!!

TSannie said...

Man! Time has flown by! Give Gustav a hug for me. Or maybe not - that could be taking your life in your own hands!

ChesapeakeBayDaughter said...

I'm surprised that king Gustav got away from his space ship (CB Mother's car)! Every time I go over to Gustav's layer....I mean my grandmother's I look for Gustav so I'm not attacked! That's just a little extra information for you Gustav lovers......Your in love with a demon that attacks small children!

Love,
Gustav's Lunch

foolery said...

I like Gustav through a fence and through a lens. I enjoyed hissing back at him. This says more about me than about him.

Anonymous said...

"Tops Optional Booze Cruise"? I guess we should make sure Gustav isn't on THAT boat ride...especially if it somehow turns into a "bottoms optional booze cruise"!

Baby Sis
ready for blogfest aka "freakfest 2010"

Anonymous said...

"Tops Optional Booze Cruise"? I guess we should make sure Gustav isn't on THAT boat ride...especially if it somehow turns into a "bottoms optional booze cruise"!

Baby Sis
ready for blogfest aka "freakfest 2010"