Monday, June 28, 2010

Crab Hat


Once upon a time there was a festival in a charming little place called Gwynns Island.

One day just prior to the festival, Chesapeake Bay Woman went to Dollar General down in the court house. Before she could get through the doors she was engaged in a conversation with Cricket, who organizes the festival. CBW asked if there was anything she could do to help Cricket, and before CBW forgot what she came to Dollar General for, she was leaving with 5 books of raffle tickets to be sold at Saturday's festival.

The part of this post having to do with Dollar General is now over. We now join the Gwynns Island Festival portion, already in progress.

It's important to understand that CBW is not a sales person and would rather hang upside down from the Gwynns Island Bridge during a nor'easter buy all the tickets herself than force them upon perfect strangers attending a crowded festival. It's also important to know that while CBW pretends to have a personality on the internet, she's as dull as a dead fiddler crab in person and does not do well in crowds. (None of these are desired characteristics of a successful raffle ticket sales person, fyi.)

Given all this, she decided the only way to get through a festival involving ticket sales was vodka shots to call on the good ole, reliable crab hat.

CBW discovered the crab hat on a camping trip on the Eastern Shore several years ago, and she immediately fell in love. The hat is not too hot, not at all cool, and plenty crazy, which pretty much sums up CBW's life nicely and neatly.

Much to her surprise, festival attendees were enthralled with the crab hat. In fact, if CBW had a nickel for everyone who asked where she acquired the crab hat, CBW might be able to quit her day job. In fact, CBW is seriously contemplating quitting her day job ordering mass quantities of these crab hats to sell at Mathews Market Days and next year's Gwynns Island Festival, but don't hold your breath because CBW rarely follows through with anything and most assuredly cannot quit her day job.

Anyway, as people stopped to inquire about the silly hat, CBW explained where it came from and then ever-so-subtly mentioned that she was selling $1.00 chances to win a whole lot of money. Nine times out of ten, the person asked if this was gambling purchased a ticket, and I would like to thank those nine who did because the proceeds benefit the Gwynns Island Civic League.

But perhaps best of all, CBW met two new friends as a result of the crab hat. One of them is pictured above, and the other was taking the picture. They are the sort of people you want to hang around with, because they smile a lot and they exude warmth and happiness. Plus, they liked the crab hat, which makes them extra special.

All this means one thing: They must come to Blog Fest.

Dear Gwynns Island Festival Friends,
Thank you for spending time with me on Saturday, and thanks for sharing your photos since I, who claim to be a photographer, forgot my camera at home. Please stop by my house on Thursday, July 15, for a cookout to kick off the 2010 Blog Fest. I guarantee you'll have a good time whether you're wearing a crab hat or not, although everything in life is more fun with a crab hat.
Sincerely,
CBW

12 comments:

foolery said...

I can think of two things that a crab hat would not make better. One of them is child birth.

No wait -- three things.

Otherwise, I'm all for All Crab Hats, All The Time.

Hmm, what's that? No I haven't been not drinking.

Country Girl said...

Keep it a secret as to where you acquired the hat. Sometimes it's nice to have the only one in town!

And you do too have a personality!!

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

I think if selling crab hats came with premium-subsidized health insurance, you'd quit your day job.

No one rocks the crab hat like CBW!

Kate said...

That's a dandy piece of headwear you have there! Glad to hear it helped sell some tickets. :-)

Mental P Mama said...

So did you win? And, people, don't listen to CBW...she has a wonderful personality!

Trisha said...

The crab hat is wonderful! Thank you so much for sharing that picture.

I find it difficult to believe that you have no personality. Would a bland person even think about buying a crab hat, let along wear it where other people will see them? I think not!

Daryl said...

LOVE that hat ... and your personality ...

foolery said...

Yeah, I accidentally COMPLETELY glossed over that part when I commented last night: there is NOTHING dull about CBW. I still hear her infectious laugh ringing in my ears and it's NOT the laugh of a dead fiddler crab. Nice try, CBW, but no one is buying your malarkey about being dull. ; )

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Love the hat, love your personality, love you and that hunk standing in the background!
<><

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

And I cant wait to meet your new friends!
<><

Meg @ Soup Is Not A Finger Food said...

Malarkey indeed! Don't sell yourself short, CBW.

Kay L. Davies said...

That is a seriously super crab hat.
-- K

Kay, Alberta, Canada
An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel