Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Catharsis at the Beach

Once upon a time on the Chesapeake Bay,
some friends got together to say Happy Birthday.
Four boats were involved and all I can say
is Chesapeake Bay Woman got in the right boat that day.
The End.

I was originally supposed to meet my friend Alda and her family at Winter Harbor, but when Glenda got there first, and her boat was in the water--functioning properly--and all I had to do was hop on?  Well, I did just that. Hopped right on. You know the old saying, a boat in the water is worth two on a trailer. Or three that haven't even showed up yet. (What?  That's not a saying? Well, it ought to be. Especially with this crowd.)

Turns out there was a reason Alda and her family were late, and that reason involved a wheel spontaneously falling off the trailer that was hauling their boat.  Last time we tried to get together like this, Glenda's wheel fell off the trailer.  I'm convinced there's some special Trailer Wheel Curse lingering in the general Winter Harbor area.  Anyway, Alda was a bit tardy in arriving to the birthday celebration, and Husband Lawrence was even later since he had to remain behind to deal with the impending divorce negotiations the trailer wheel. 

To say that Alda was perturbed might have been just a slight understatement.
(Click to enlarge the image. The look on her face speaks 

a thousand pent-up cuss words volumes.)

Suffice it to say, Alda was very agitated animated with her description of what happened.  And what happened was various versions of the following: "All I ask is that he maintain stuff so I can go out on the boat once a year down Peary. I do everything else. Every night at six thirty/quarter to seven all he has to do is sit down in front of a meal of some description--always at least a meat, a starch and a vegetable--that I've fixed after working all day and getting children to and from events. Every night, without fail, he has something to eat.  Now it may be fish sticks some nights, but nobody around there is going hungry. Then I want to go out in the boat one time! And the wheel falls off the trailer. (She said this next sentence through clenched teeth, head moving slowly left to right.There may have been smoke coming from her ears.) I'd like to light a match to everything he has in that BLEEPing yard and start over. He has too much insert a bad word here stuff and nothing works. All I need is a match!"

Glenda, Catherine and I listened carefully, nodding at the appropriate times. We dared not utter a word lest we make matters worse. Sometimes a girl just needs to vent without drawing a breath uninterrupted.

Then Catherine joined in, and things became extremely lively.  Lots and lots of hand gestures, hands on hips, and talking over one another. The conversation is best summarized as follows: "Men! You can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em!"

At one point even the party decorations appeared to be afraid, laughing nervously as they plotted how to escape the wrath on the island of Women Fed Up With Their Men.

Some even tried to hide.

This is Chip. He's smiling because his wife wasn't complaining about him. Yes, he was very happy indeed, all things considered.  His boat was working, he was in the clear, it was all good.  In fifth grade, though, for reasons still unclear, I stabbed him in the hand with a pencil. The lead is still there to this day.  So while he might not have been afraid of his wife, he may well have been a little nervous around me. Poor fella.

Lisa's husband Craig was smiling too.
(I don't think he was around when she was
 airing her brief list of grievances.)

At just the right time, i.e. after Alda got some most 
of the frustrations out of her system, her husband Lawrence showed up.

In the mean time, the children thought it was much more fun to wallow in creek mud than listen to the airing of grievances. 

Yep.  They'll take stinky creek mud over the airing of grievances any day.

After a lovely day in the sun and a (really, it was) great birthday celebration, it was finally time to leave. I am pleased to report that no husbands--or marriages--were harmed in the making of this birthday beach celebration; all parties kissed and made up. If anyone sees smoke billowing from the general area of Cobbs Creek in Mathews, however, I can't make any promises that Alda didn't light fire to every last bit of some of Lawrence's stuff.

...and I heard them exclaim as we drove out of sight, 
"Enjoyed it, y'all!"  
and to y'all a good night.


  • We were there to celebrate two birthdays: Catherine's and Lisa's.
  •  Tomorrow I will share a few more pictures from the outing that prove a lot of fun was had in spite of the airing of a few grievances.
  • All females who aired grievances were quick to point out they had good men. 
  • It's just that those same good men can evidently be aggravating at times.
  • The exact status of Lawrence and Alda's boat trailer (or any of the rest of Lawrence's stuff) is unknown as of this writing.
  • To the best of my knowledge, however, there have been no major fires in the Cobbs Creek area this week.
  • In other words, it's all good.


Anonymous said...

Wowie, CBW--I would love to have the exact coordinates of this Island Of Women Fed Up With Men, populated with mud-covered children (and people who show up in boats bringing wine for celebrations). I know I have excellent qualifications to become a permanent resident.
Of course I should take some classes or workshops on construction, since I lack the skill set to build shelter. I had always dreamed of visiting a coastal Mexican island known as Isla Mujeres, (but maybe that was a name shortened from something like "La Isla de las Mujeres Enojadas"). Our Island of Women Fed Up... could also be referred to as "F.U.M.E Island" :(Fed Up w/ Male Exasperators).
Oh, who am I kidding ? Thanks for the laughter and great photos.

Anonymous said...

This was great! What a great group of gals. So nice you all still get together. I work with Lisa, Laura and Catherine so I get to hear about some of these adventures. There is always laughter involved!

Anonymous said...

What a great group of gals, what a great group of muddy kids!!! Can't believe the one kid who's muddy from head to toe! Looks like a memorable adventure. One of those stories you'll be telling when you're 99. Betsy

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

LLC-I've been to Isla Mujeres! Really. Long time ago, went there on a snorkeling excursion. Beautiful place.

Trinia-You are so lucky to work with them, I'd be laughing the whole time.

Betsy-Those kids had the time of their lives. I was still picking mud out of Glenda's daughter's hair on the ride home.

Deltaville Jamie said...

I'm thinking creek mud wrestling at Blogfest. I intended to mention something my aunt said about man parts and how they think they're magic (this was in response to me venting about my man-who is a good one but hey, he is a man- and I said well he has a [man part} and she said "they really think those things are magic" which horrified- really- HORRORFIED my cousin and I because really, who wants to hear their aunt/mother talk about magic man parts? and I realize that I basically did mention what I intended) anyway, I read the blog post at 2:30am and was thinking of this whole magic man thing and had quite the interesting dream about 'you know' and men going around using it like the "I Dream of Jeannie" ponytail. It was rather traumatic. And now you see what happens when I don't sleep.

Daryl said...

may i say that i totally totally empathize .... and i have a really good man .. nevertheless 'the list' is long and can be called up at any time and read off ....

Kay L. Davies said...

This makes me think of my 30-something niece and her husband and his boat and trailer. He does fix it/them. In fact, he spends more time fixing than they ever spend out on the water, so it's the same on both sides of the continent and in two countries.
As for Isla Mujeres, it is indeed beautiful, but Mexican men and their boats...well...when my parents and my youngest brother were spending their winters in Baja, on the Sea of Cortez, and the rest of us visited them, we had a name for fixing boats, trailers, and cars...Mexineering.
So I think I know enough to know Mexican women have those man-lists, too.
There was Mom and Dad's friend Julio...long story, will tell you when I see you.

Dghawk said...

That is soooo funny! But somehow so typical, also. There must be something somewhere in the cosmos that always puts a glitch in boating outings. I've had several myself, but it won't stop me from going. Like every time I would go fishing with my sister on the Chick, we would invariably wind up on a sandbar...and she HAD a depth finder!

I wouldn't mind wallowing in some mud. Looks like fun.

Stephanie Howard said...

Witty, amusing, & enjoyable! Just like you! Great that y'all still get together. Thanks for the laughter. Brought back memories of when. (Hugs) Stephanie