Drama

Today was supposed to be a post about an article in this week's paper, or possibly a brief discussion of the old Farmers Bank of Mathews, or maybe even a little something about the spate of warm temperatures recently. There were several things swirling around in my head and they all came grinding to a halt thanks to two cardiac events.

Example One
After school, the Chesapeake Bay Children and I leisurely lingered on the front porch, soaking in the sporadic rays of sunlight and inhaling the smells of wet earth and Almost Spring. We laughed and chatted and enjoyed the fresh air.

When I said something about fixing supper, they announced they were going for a ride out in the fields in the Gator, which for the unacquainted is a four-wheeled contraption with a small bed on the back, sort of a combination golf cart, ATV, tractor and wagon all rolled into one.

When they didn't return in a reasonable amount of time, I immediately knew they were all rolled into one, upside down in the middle of the field or in a ditch, with the contraption on top of them.

Or, alternatively, they were just playing basketball with the neighbors. One or the other.

Finally, just about the time I gnawed off my last good toenail fingernail, into the house they trudged, completely covered in mud, eyes wide as saucers, nervously pacing, wringing hands and breathing heavily.

The good news was they weren't upside down in a ditch! I could see so with my own two eyes.

The bad news was the Gator was halfway submerged in a swamp on someone else's property. Blah blah blah a story for another time blah blah many, many lessons were learned and everything is fine now except my cardiovascular system. The End.

Example Two
After tucking CB Daughter in to bed and saying goodnight to Chesapeake Bay Son, I come downstairs to hear an excited raptaptapping on the sliding glass door which faces my parents' house and is the one and only door they use to come into my house. (Usually they don't knock though.) I hollered for the person to come in and it's Chesapeake Bay Mother wearing her Oh Dear, There's Something Very Wrong face.

Chesapeake Bay Woman: "What's wrong, is everything OK?"

CB Mother, looking extremely distraught and anguished:"No!"

CBW: "Oh no, is CB Daddy OK?"

CB Mother: "It's the little kitty. She's not doing well."

CBW (swallowing her heart, which had just leapt up into her throat): "Oh thank God! There are no people sick or hurt?"

CB Mother: "No, but I've got to get her to the vet. She's had six kittens and she's just not doing well. Can I borrow your car? Mine is low on gas and I've got to get her to Middlesex."

CBW: Does the math and realizes that 1 mother cat + 6 kittens = 7 cats. 7 cats + the existing cat population + 3 flocks of Canada geese + Gustave the killer goose + 3 lame ducks + 3 dogs brings the total cat population in Chesapeake Bay Family's Wild Kingdom to Infinite.

CBW, still adjusting to the shock that someone might be dead and then realizing instead there at least 7 more cats: "Sure."

CBW: Wonders if she'll have her car back by the morning, when she has to drive the CB Children--who just hours ago were in her mind lying upside down in a ditch--to school where they have to take exams.

CBW: Really needs a vacation. Is very grateful that all human beings are OK as of the writing of this post. She'll report on the status of kittens and mother cat tomorrow, after she transports her children to school in the mud-coated Gator since her car is being used as a cat ambulance.

The End