Jim from Hallieford

This is Jim from Hallieford, who saved me from myself and dial-up internet.

When even Mother Nature could not believe that I was using dial-up internet, she orchestrated a thunderstorm and directed a lightning bolt to take out any hope of continuing on in blind obsolescence.

Mother Nature was as tired as everyone else of hearing Chesapeake Bay Woman complain about her computer, her internet connection, and the fact that it took 15-20 minutes to upload one photo.

Mother Nature also knew that Chesapeake Bay Woman was afraid of change and needed a cattle prod gentle nudge to move in the right direction, which was basically towards the current century.

What Mother Nature did not realize, however, is they don't make a cattle prod big enough to force change upon CBW there were some compelling reasons to stick with dial-up as long as I did:

- Although cable is available in Mathews on my very lane, my house is located just far enough from the road that the cable folks would not run a line to it. So although my neighbors across the street can receive cable TV and internet (if they wanted), that's not an option for me.

- Verizon sounded like a nice alternative until I learned that people right across the field from us could not receive a steady signal although their cell phones worked just fine. I called the local Verizon folks up and the lady confirmed that if we had trouble with the cell phone signal, the internet probably would be spotty as well. Given that I have to climb a telephone pole go outside to receive a cell phone call, I figured Verizon was not for me just yet.

-Satellite internet was an option, but I was afraid of the initial expense to set it all up, which is significant.

So after pondering these options--all of which require either a contract, an arm and a leg, a maximum usage cap, and/or a first-born child, I did what any intelligent consumer would do: I asked my 15-year-old son to do some research.

What he came up with was this: "Mom, I don't know about all this because of the contracts, our location, the usage caps, the equipment fees and that whole first-born child thing which hits close to home. If worse comes to worst, let's do satellite."

In the meantime, Jim from Hallieford contacted me and said very confidently that he could fix the whole internet problem.

Here's how the initial meeting went:

Jim from Hallieford: Hi. I can have you up and running in no time flat.

CBW: I don't know.. but sure, come on over and test things out.

Jim: The signal is strong. You're good to go.

CBW: I don't know....so what about the contracts, the usage cap, the equipment fees and the first-born child thing?

Jim: No contract. Minimal charge. Personalized service. You can keep your first-born. It's all good. There. You're up and running.

CBW: Can't talk because she's fainted.

CBW's Son: Can't talk because he's flabbergasted.

Jim: Here, until your router arrives, use mine. It's all good.

At this juncture, a choir of angels sang Alleluia, and the Chesapeake Bay Family officially stepped into the current century.

Here's Jim from Hallieford holding everything needed to sign me up for high-speed internet: a patient smile, a signal tester and a pie plate. And no contract. (Pie plates are a very high-tech method of ascertaining signal strength in Mathews, in case you didn't know.)

Thank you, Jim from Hallieford, for saving my life the day.

p.s. Whereas I used to spend my weekends pre-loading photos because each one took 20 minutes, I can now load photos in the blink of an eye. Plus, I get to keep my first-born child. It's absolutely amazing.