This week's Gazette-Journal confirms that the DIY Network's Blog Cabin will feature a Mathews County home located on the Mobjack Bay in Susan.
The shot above is not from that house, but just play along.
Since most of the three of you who read are not from Mathews, I should explain that Susan is a place, a post office, a don't blink otherwise you've just missed it area in Mathews.
Since I no longer watch TV
This is all very, very exciting for those of us
Given the enormous culture clash these DIY'ers are bound to experience, I thought we could ease their transition by giving them some tips on how to survive in Mathews. Let's see if we can get a good list going.
Here is a start, in no particular order:
1. Toss all GPS units into the Mobjack Bay, because they might actually work down there in the mud but they will not work in Mathews. That GPS Lady thinks she knows what she's talking about, but she's full of hot air and hush puppies most of the time.
2. Eat all the Thai and Vietnamese food you can before you arrive. There's a delightful Thai restaurant in Gloucester, but that is probably 20-25 miles from Susan.
3. Unless you have helicopters dropping in supplies (and if you do, please request sixteen cartons of Vietnamese spring rolls to be drop-shipped over the 23076 zip code), you will drive more than you breathe.
4. Insects and assorted infestations are a fact of life - your life. They will live with you. No matter what the season, you will be overtaken by insects. You cannot win, it's futile.
The current season is fruit flies and spiders. Welcome them with open arms. You might find crickets in your suitcases too.
Winter places the welcome mat out for mice, who will find your place warm and inviting.
Spring brings ants, killer mutant ants like you've never seen. When you are overtaken by them, and you will be, consult with me. I have the solution which involves a multi-faceted approach involving Terro and nuclear weapons.
Summer means mosquitoes, May flies and
5. Don't leave trash outside overnight. Although bears have yet to cross the county line from Gloucester, we do have bear-sized
6. You may wish to erect your own cell phone tower at the work site, otherwise just go ahead and install a land line unless you know smoke signals, Morse code or have tapped into your ESP capabilities.
7. Relax and get ready for a slower pace of life in an isolated area with far fewer of the so-called luxuries but chock-a-block full of wonderful people and gorgeous, undeveloped natural beauty. If you need a tour guide, CBW is your gal.
In the next edition of Tips for the DIY Network in Mathews County, we'll cover storm survival tactics and ways to entertain yourself when the current goes out and the tide is so high in the back yard you need hip boots to get to the car.
Dear DIY Network: You will love Mathews, and I for one think you might not ever want to leave.