Welcome to Monday, where Chesapeake Bay Woman finds herself without any fresh photos or stories. However, since she's been tending the garden known as this blog for over four years now, she feels no shame as she reaches deep into the
The April 2010 photo above is from Bethel Beach.
The quiz below about taxes and/or death and/or escape to Bora Bora is from April 2009.
Taxes and Death
To test your knowledge of exactly how the tax filing process works, and to provide a dawdling exercise for those who still have not filed, let's take this brief quiz.
Please put away all notes, don your thinking caps, furrow your brow and lick the tip of your pencil. Then recoil and spit quickly because lead is not something you want to ingest.
1. Which of the following statements is true?
a) The only two things that are certain are taxes and death.
b) The only thing worse than taxes is a slow, painful death.
2. The best time to learn how to do your own taxes is:
a) As early in life as possible, it's really not that difficult.
3. Which of the following is more qualified than Chesapeake Bay Woman to handle tax filing, checkbook balancing, bill paying and/or anything else having to do with numbers, details, facts and figures, and most importantly discipline?
a) A CPA
b) A chimpanzee
4. Assuming you have the attention span and accounting abilities of a small kitchen appliance, when is the best time to drop off tax paperwork to your accountant?
a) Around February, by which time you should have received your W2's and all other year-end statements and required information. This also helps the accountant by giving her ample time to place careful thought into your income tax filing.
b) Two to three days before taxes are due, however you have to wait until your accountant leaves for lunch or goes to the bathroom. This requires several hours of heavy surveillance on your part to ascertain precisely when she will not be in the office. Ideally the receptionist is also on the phone and therefore distracted. Sneak into the office, drop your paperwork on her desk and run. Run very fast.
5. Besides incarceration, what are your options if you wait until the last minute and not even a CPA can bail you out by April 15th?
a) File for an extension.
b) Peruse the internet for jobs and rental properties in Bora Bora. Research the process for securing a passport, since yours expired back in the 10th grade and you never renewed it. Wonder how quickly it will take to procure airline tickets and a flight out, paying particular attention to those departing on or before April 15th.
Answers: You already know the answers. If you don't hear from me for a while, I'll sign on again once I arrive in Bora Bora.
Chesapeake Bay Woman
April 2012 Addendum: I feel much better about taxes this year since everything was handed off to Dear Christine about a week or so ago, rather than a day ago. This year things aren't so awful.
Still, I'm all for updating the passport for Bora Bora if anyone's else is up for the trip.