The Misadventures of Chesapeake Bay Woman

Once upon a time, Chesapeake Bay Woman needed photos of the New Point Lighthouse, commissioned by Thomas Jefferson two centuries ago--give or take some decades. But even though her camera was solidly perched on the railing at the New Point Lighthouse Observation Deck, her shaky zoom lens could only produce blurry pictures. And this was not good.

Chesapeake Bay Woman grew increasingly frustrated, because she could see a stretch of golden sand right there across a vast expanse of swamp marsh grass. The beach was way closer to the lighthouse and would require much less use of the zoom. However, that beach was not technically a part of the official New Point Observation Deck. And this, too, was not good.

For emphasis, she'd like to repeat that there was nothing but swamp, marsh and heavy vegetation between where she stood and that pristine piece of sandy heaven she so desperately sought.

Packing up her attitude camera, she trotted back to the car where she sat and stewed. She really needed a good shot of the lighthouse, but she did not own a tripod or a decent lens, nor did she have a clue any formal training in anything, much less how to properly use her camera in photography, so the only viable way to produce a decent picture given her skill set involved a closer vantage point.

Earlier driving in she noticed a path leading down to who knows where what appeared to be the exact pristine beach she sought. This same path, like the beach she sought, was not at all really a part of the official observation deck area, yet there was very little delineation between this area and the official observation area. In other words, since there were no signs stating otherwise, why not?

And now we have arrived at the accelerated, abbreviated, mathematical part of this story. The extended version would fill the Library of Congress a book.

Here's the equation:

1 Chesapeake Bay Woman, saturated with adrenaline, who needs closer proximity to the lighthouse because she doesn't know how to work her camera

plus

1 Unknown, very narrow path with 8-foot high reeds and swamp mud on either side

plus

1 heavy dose of standing water, mud, briars and fallen trees

plus

0 Knowledge of where the path lead

but

1 sincere conviction that it went to golden sand and a perfect vantage point for photographing the lighthouse

minus

1 Bit of common sense

plus

15,003 Inches of rain this week in a place that is already below sea level most days

plus

1 tombstone, an old one, lying on a tree stump right next to the path

plus

1 Near heart attack, and more and more difficulty making it through the mud and rising water

plus

3 more tombstones ensconced in briars, barely visible from the so-called "path"

plus

1 Recollection of someone telling me about a haunted cemetery except this could not possibly be the same one ...or could it?

equals

1 About face and a sprint out of there that would have broken the sound barrier, if not for the fact that her tennis shoes were soaking wet and she was up to her ankles in mud, plus her ears were being pierced by briars.

plus

0 decent shots of the lighthouse. Still.

The End.

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p.s. Come back tomorrow for a picture of one of the unexpected tombstones and a much shorter post.