Mathews Mark, who has been missing in action for weeks now due to lack of internet access, was working down Redart last week. He gave me a call.
Chesapeake Bay Woman: "Hello?"
Mathews Mark: "Hey, CBW, I'm working down Redart at a gorgeous place that would make some really good pictures. What are you doing right now?"
CBW: Is not even on the line any more because she's spinning gravel out the driveway to get there post haste. An opportunity for legal trespassing does not present itself
Mathews Mark was right. This piece of property was gorgeous, ideally situated on a point with not one but two docks, one of which was about a mile long if it was a foot.
Prior to coming out here, I ventured to the other dock closest to the house, over on the other side of those pine trees.
Scoping out the views for the ideal picture, I happened to look downward since I was approaching an incline onto the dock. There, lying inches in front of me in all his sunbathing glory, was this:
The rest of him was stretched clear across the dock, and he wasn't in any hurry to move. He'd probably just swallowed a small pony or something and was just taking an after-lunch nap.
The trip to Redart was productive, black snakes and huge herds of fiddler crabs notwithstanding. I'll share more photos of the place when I can.
But before I forget, the other night Anonymous Hallieford Resident invited several of us over to her restaurant, Sandpiper Reef. While she was busy pouring drinks from their new margarita machine, Mathews Mark regaled the crowd with stories.
A platter of fried oysters was placed in front of him. (They were delicious, by the way.)
Mathews Mark: "Did y'all ever used to tie strings around raw oysters?"
CBW: "Ummm. What did you say? Strings? Around oysters?"
Mathews Mark: "Yeah, you know, you take a string and tie it around the middle of an oyster and swallow it.
CBW: "What the ... why in the world would anyone want to swallow an oyster with a string tied around it?"
Mathews Mark: "So you could pull it back up."
We won't ask the ever-so obvious question of why at this juncture, because that is not germane to the point of this story, which is this: There ain't a whole lot to do around here.
And this: There is a killer boa constrictor on the loose in the vicinity of Redart, and he isn't afraid of anything, up to and including
And also: Dear Reality TV Show Producers, there is a gold mine of television fodder here in Mathews County, Virginia. Truly.