Bayman is the sort of person who'd give you the shirt off his back in a snowstorm and then ask if you also wanted his shoes and socks. He'd do anything for anybody.
One day, Chesapeake Bay Woman was sitting innocently at a lacrosse game, when a person we shall call Miss Kathy asked for suggestions of local men to participate in a Womanless Beauty Pageant as a fundraiser for the American Cancer Society. Chesapeake Bay Woman, who loves these sorts of brainstorming games, spewed off about
120 20 names, one of which was Bayman's.
Bayman has a close relative fighting cancer, and the event--in which men dress up as women and compete in a beauty pageant which includes formal attire, a talent competition and a swimsuit event--benefits cancer research. So I thought he'd be a good choice.
Plus, I want to see him in a dress and high heels.
This was the look on Bayman's face when Miss Kathy asked if he would please dress up as a woman and
dance to an Isley Brothers song strut around on stage to benefit cancer research:
But after he thought about it for a moment and realized it was for such a good cause, he jumped
right in the manicure chair right on the powder puff band wagon.
The "Miss Relay" womanless beauty pageant will be held this Saturday at 7:00 p.m. at Mathews High School in the Harry Ward Auditorium, not to be confused with any other auditorium because there is only one.
Former professional football player Stuart Anderson will also be
wearing a dress, people! participating in the pageant. Folks, this is a sight you will not want to miss is going to be fun!
Tickets are $10 at the door, and of course donations are always accepted. Checks should be made to Relay for Life and can be sent to Miss Kathy Gwyn, 17542 John Clayton Memorial Highway, Mathews, VA 23109.
In addition to serving as Bayman's agent, choreographer, make-up artist, wardrobe expert,
Isley Brothers fan who knows just the song to play for the talent competition manicurist, pedicurist, stylist and talent manager, Chesapeake Bay Woman will be videotaping the event, provided she can (a) find her video camera (b) charge the battery (c) find the battery (d) figure out how to use it, all of which means that (e) Chesapeake Bay Son best be comin' along to handle the videotaping.
p.s. Does anyone know where a person such as Bayman might locate high-heeled dress shoes in a man's size 12? With all the freaks who shop at the Gloucester Wal Mutant (no offense to
freaks folks from Gloucester), I'm thinking that might be the best place for him to start. Of course we don't have any place to buy shoes in Mathews unless you count horse shoes and even then you have to call in a special person.
p.s.s.t Big Hair Envy? Noe Noe? This might be the weekend for a sleepover in Mathews.