Monday, November 3, 2008

Report Card


I took this picture last week down at the public landing. It was freezing outside and my fingers were numb. Speaking of numb, here is another mind-numbing excerpt from The Misadventures of the Chesapeake Bay Family.

Chesapeake Bay Baby Sister complained recently that I never write stories about her, only about Middle Sister. There are many reasons for this, namely that Middle Sister and I spent more time together and were closer in age. Also, by the time Baby Sister was old enough to create any memorable stories, I was off to college creating my own life stories.

Our mother wrote the following which involves Baby Sister. Enjoy, Baby Sister! Remember, you asked for it.
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From CB Mother:

Entry from diary circa mid-1980’s


Petrified remains of Noah’s ark are easier to locate than Chesapeake Bay Little Sister’s report card. Somewhere in Turkey, isn’t it? The ark, I mean.

This young person is very adept when it comes to introducing a parent gradually to the adverse report by giving probable locations and exiting stage right.

When I finally remember three weeks later that I still haven’t seen the report card, it has had another misadventure: It was spattered with cafeteria-made vegetable soup and suffered some disintegration and is drying in her locker at school. Gospel truth.

Meanwhile Little Sis entertains with a musing about the effect of term papers on final grades; how if you failed to turn one in, your otherwise “A” average might possibly sag to a “D.”

MIT, here she comes.

-CBMother
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Additional Commentary from Chesapeake Bay Woman:

Baby Sister could really weave a story and twist the truth so hard it screamed in agony.

14 comments:

Bear Naked said...

CB Baby Sister
It just seens to me (in my humble opinion) that you were just trying your best to follow in the footsteps of your elder siblings.
And it seemed to have worked.


Bear((( )))

tj said...

...Many of baby sis's traits were learned from the very best teachers - her older sisters. Mmmm hmm, I said it. I too am the baby of the family and I feel baby sis's pain. We suffer from what is known as the "trickle down effect" for which there is no known cure.(*sigh*) ;o)

...Lovely photo CBW but where are the halloween party photos? What did you go as? Enquiring minds want to know...lol...

...Happy Monday all! Blessings... :o)

Margaret Cloud said...

Nice post, my older son is like that, he would weave the most believable story for us to find it false. Thanks for coming by, if you click on flicker above moms picture you will see on page two a full view of mom.

big hair envy said...

My grandma always told me, "Be careful what you wish for, because you JUST MIGHT GET IT!" She was a wise woman:)

CB Baby Sis gets credit for originality. I've never known anyone to use cafeteria food as an excuse for not producing a report card!

Grandma J said...

Sometimes we get what we ask for at any cost. And the picture is so appropriate....like taking a long walk on a short pier.

Maybe the chicken soup was the culprit.

Mental P Mama said...

You probably won't be hearing any more whining out of her.

Annie said...

Isn't that the same pier where you were underwater before the dentist appointment?

Annie

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

BN - She must have learned all this from Middle Sister. I don't recall twisting the truth except when absolutely necessary. Such as when we would have talent contests and I really needed to win. For example.

TJ - As I said, she must have learned it from Middle Sister, plain and simple. No Halloween photos, although one does actually exist. At least I hope there's only one. Heaven only knows who else snapped a picture. (Note to self: identify all friends from party and confiscate the photos.)

Ms. Margaret - I will definitely come by and look at those pictures. Yours are always absolutely gorgeous.

BHE - Oh, the stories she can weave....I don't know which is worse. When she tells a lie or her sharp-edged, unfiltered truth, aka sauciness.

GJ - You're getting the hang of the whole "interpret this photo" game!

MPM - I predict we'll hear from her reeeeaaaal soon.

Annie - Good guess, and even better memory! Actually this is a different dock. Much of the scenery does look the same around here. The one where I was underwater before the dentist was at the Seabreeze Retaurant on Gwynn's Island. This is the public landing below the Court House.

Get out and vote on Tuesday, everyone. Make sure all your friends and family do too.

Anonymous said...

Well all i can say is: I probably DID spill chicken soup on it, on purpose because no grade was ever good enough for anybody. Especially after you two just HAAADDDD to go making the beta club and the blah blah blah club and governor's schools and this and that and top 2 or 3 in your class. A certain EARTH SCIENCE teacher with THREE body parts where there should have only been two, always told me I was the WORST one and each year we got worse and worse and I talked waaaay too much and I would never be anything in the world of science.I've got news for you, when it came to having FUN I was in the top 2 or 3 of my class.

Also, we had several dogs and I did use the " the dog ate my homework" excuse one time. Mrs. Grimstead didn't fall for that one. And I remember trying to stick a paper underneath the dogs muddy paws right before I left for school, so it would be just a tad bit illegible.
Love,
Swelled up in Richmond, VA
Baby Sis

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Dearest Baby Sister,

You were the best in basketball (scored over 1,000 points) and the best in track (well, in some events, not all, but I'm still very swolled up over the records you broke that were once mine) and please don't rely too much on what Miss Three Body Parts Where There Ought to be Two said. I didn't do so well in that class, and she must be thinking of Middle Sis, Queen of the Governors School for The Gifted.

YOu were the best looking pink polyester-wearing hippie at the Sandpiper Friday night!

LOVE YOU!
(I was better in the high jump. Don't you forget it.)

Anonymous said...

I was more of a disco freak than a hippie. I KNOW DASS RIGHT!!!! It was fun, thanks for taking me.
Love,
Baby Sis

Annie said...

you guys are soo hilarious..by the time I have read the comments..I have forgotten what the post was all about...almost..little bits are filtering back...

Annie

Anonymous said...

OMG I am laughing till tears are coming out, it was funny enough going to school with the three of you but now to come across this blog.....this is too good!!! yet another reason for my hubby to yell what are you doing on that damn computer.

foolery said...

Middle Sis and Baby Sis had better be coming to that bloggy meet-up this summer, 'cause I really wanna meet them both. :)

You I already know, CBW. ha ha ha