Monday, November 24, 2008

Ware Church

This is a picture of Ware Church, which is in neighboring Gloucester County. A very historic church, it was also the scene of some childish behavior from an adult. An adult who shall remain nameless for the time being.

Ware Episcopal Church is one of the few colonial buildings still standing in Gloucester. Dating back to 1690, it served as an encampment for Federal and Confederate soldiers. For over 300 years, services have been--and still are--conducted there.

Recently, Chesapeake Bay Daughter sang at a concert here. Did I mention that Chesapeake Bay Daughter doesn’t really sing? Did I mention this was on a Thursday night, 15 miles from home, at 7:00, which is about 30 minutes before Chesapeake Bay Woman’s eyelids start to droop for the evening?

In any case, Daughter’s class and some of the lower classes gave a little concert, and Chesapeake Bay Son and I were, shall we say, less than excited to be there. The kindergartners sang Itsy Bitsy Spider and a few other standards. Then Chesapeake Bay Daughter’s class sang a song which I’m sure would be familiar to people who are more cultured than we are, but which was entirely lost on me. The song consisted of incessant “la las” and “ma mas” and “mo mos” and “ho hos. It was supposed to be a serious song, but all I could hear was gibberish.

Here, sitting in this historic church, where many solemn ceremonies have been held for over 300 years, where soldiers once encamped—-yes, here, in this serious, austere environment listening to a concert, Chesapeake Bay Woman started to laugh. She quickly caught herself and tried to straighten up, since all the teachers and the school’s headmaster were standing directly behind her.

But Chesapeake Bay Woman’s snicker spurred Chesapeake Bay Son to snort. Which made Chesapeake Bay Woman laugh even more. Trying to get her brain to focus on anything, such as the theory of relativity or the laws of economics, did not distract Chesapeake Bay Woman from wanting to laugh. Her face became red and tears started flowing down her cheeks. And poor Chesapeake Bay Son! The next thing you know I spontaneously pinched him, not to be mean, but to be playful.

This only made us laugh more.

Thankfully the end was in sight and before we could say, “Chesapeake Bay Woman is really not a very good role model for proper behavior in a historic church environment,” it was over and done.

I’m pleased to report that Chesapeake Bay Son did not get in trouble due to his mother’s antics. But that’s only because they didn’t see what I did in the parking lot when some imbecile blocked me in. I had no idea my car was capable of driving over barricades, and to the poor souls whose graves I may have driven on—I mean near, yes, that’s it I drove NEAR some graves—please accept my sincerest apologies.


Bear Naked said...

I would have been snorting right along with CBSon and then your goose would have been cooked for sure.
Snickering and snorting in an historic church and then driving over ancient graves---my idea of a night well spent.
Bear((( )))

Val said...

wish i'd been there with you ... why do sombre places do that??
a good snicker and snort sounds like just what i need today!

nativedevil said...

Remember the episode of the "Mary Tyler Moore Show" when she is trying not to laugh during the funeral of Chuckles the Clown? Everyone starts staring at her, and she tries to stop, but can't? I know, I'm showing my age now, but that' what it made me think of.

Mental P Mama said...

Oh, the dreaded school concerts. Must keep legs crossed as well.

Ellen said...

Did your daughter want to go home with you? Or with another family?

Anonymous said...

mints are in paper box in front of some radom house on your Redneck husband found them at dollar store after everyone in family looked at me like I was crazy for not knowing where to purchase them or for not already having in my home.....Redneck thought they were for me(to get out of doghouse)Enjoy!!! with wine and turkey!!

big hair envy said...

It's a shame that your daughter had to sing with the "lower classes"!!! You are so much better than that:) Bwahahaha!

I'll admit that, in the past, I have been prone to inappropriate laughter in church. Cool Breeze and I have bitten blood out of our tongues (true story) to keep from laughing at some of the soloists who hit ridiculously high notes!

Fortunately, all of the graves are BEHIND our church - a safe distance from the parking lot. I'm confident that I would have been guilty of defiling a grave had they been placed closer to the parking area!!! Someone was looking out for me.

Grandma J said...

That's hilarious. Who can fault you for losing your sense of self discipline when it's after your bedtime?
Don't worry about the graves, the occupants probably welcomed the excitement.

Anonymous said...

As will be recorded by the school historian;

'Our children's choirs sang with such emotion and passion last night that several of those in the audience were overcome with tears of joy while they listened to the wonderful concert.'

'...citing the positive encouragement from last night's concert, the choir director announced this morning that she is expanding this years Christmas program. Yes, it will take a lot more work from our volunteers, but if last night is any indication, there are many parents who will want to become involved and help out....'

...nothing better than a late night cup of coffee to help keep a person alert :)

tj said...

...I laughed out loud reading this post! You're a HOOT! I have done that more times than I care to count... I laugh easily (my husband calls it "easily amused") and it usually results in me having to leave otherwise tears start to flow, snorting begins, I stomp my feet, mascara runs, etc... lol :oD

...So CBW, is CBDaughter talking to you yet? ;o)

...Thanks for the laughter! Love the photo too!

...Blessings... :o)

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Native Devil- I loved Mary Tyler Moore and that Chuckles the Clown episode is one of my favorites.

Ellen - She did come home with us - luckily she had no idea what was going on in the back of the church.

Anonymous Mint Giver - I forgot to look in the paperboxes on the way home tonight, but I'll go check here momentarily.

BHE/Sigrid - The tongue biting sounds painful, but I don't think even that would have stopped me. I was at the point of no return.

Anonymous #2 - That's a very creative spin on the events, and with my luck that's how they'd interpret it.

tj - Fortunately CB Daughter did not know until we were in the parking lot and then my getting blocked in and having to drive over cement barricades and graves--oops I meant I drove NEAR graves--took the spotlight off all the laughing.

To everyone (including Val, MPM, Grandma J.and Bear)- Thanks for reading. I often think twice about putting stuff like this up because in my opinion it's too lengthy/wordy/boring/nap-inducing. But given that I had nothing else to post, I tossed her up there.

Now, I've got to contemplate what's going to be tossed up there far I got nothin'.

Anonymous said...

May I remind CBW that I started laughing because of the whole concept of singing so la te fa over and over and over and that this was the most ridiculous song on the history of the planet. It also didn't help that the church was so serious looking. (CB daughter also was mouthing the words)That was what made me start to laugh.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

CB Son - that's what made me laugh as well, the incessant gibberish. And it DID look as though CB Daughter was lip synching, but quite honestly I could barely see her because of how far back we were. You are too definitely was the most ridiculous song I've ever heard.