Saturday, October 4, 2008

Best- Laid Plans


I took this picture from the dock at the Sea Breeze on Gwynn's Island yesterday. As usual, people were staring at me. People going into the restaurant stared. Two men launching their boat stared. Another person honked the horn at me all the way from the highway. It was not the sort of horn honk that says, "Hey, Chesapeake Bay Woman, I know you. You know me. How are you this fine afternoon?" No, it was the sort of horn honk that says, "Hey, you don't know me, but I know your kind. Anyone taking pictures at the Sea Breeze must be a tourist or from Richmond or both; therefore I do not know you and I want to mess with you a little bit."

I know this because I am fluent in horn speak. It's a gift. Or a curse called paranoia.


Folks, Friday I had planned on cutting grass, cleaning the house, doing laundry, paying bills, studying the backs of my eyelids and excavating the vicinity of what used to be my bedroom closet, which now requires a a case of dynamite, a front loader and a demolition permit to access. I interrupt this thought to say this about that: Every single activity I just mentioned sounds and feels like nails on a chalkboard. I'd almost rather spend the day in the hospital than do all these arduous, meaningless chores.

Oh wait! I did spend the entire day in the hospital! Not just one hospital, but two. Without going into the details, I have a friend who scared the living daylights out of us all but who has pulled through OK thanks in no small part to a miracle, plain and simple.

I see this as a clear signal that I should never try to tackle what used to be my closet ever again. It's just plain bad luck. To help my poor hospitalized friend I really should not do anymore chores.

See how that works? See how I can justify a strike against housework? Feel free to borrow my tactic anytime. Just tell 'em the master of avoidance and the queen of denial, Chesapeake Bay Woman, says anything else will bring bad luck and hospital visits.

The End.

Nope, not yet. Of course not. Please push in the clutch and shift into another gear now.

Today Chesapeake Bay Son, Daughter and Daughter's Friend are going to the Virginia State Fair in Richmond. Well, that's our plan anyway. The kids are looking forward to the rides. I am looking forward to the 1,000-pound pumpkin, the blue-ribbon pies, the chickens, rabbits and pigs, with whom I feel a natural bond. They don't much care for housework either.

I am bringing my camera so I will be able to share all the magic. And naturally because we'll be gone all day long, I won't have time to risk any bad luck by attempting all that housework I didn't do yesterday; my Saturday is pretty well shot. Sunday is a day of rest, no? Monday I have to go to the paying job.

Looks like I won't be accomplishing any of that housework any time soon.

Daggone it.

11 comments:

Bear Naked said...

They make pies out of blue ribbons in your neck of the woods?
Eww

Bear((( )))

nativedevil said...

I love the State Fair, but we never seem to get their very often. Being three hours away in Roanoke makes it difficult.The state fair does bring a painful memory though. One year, when I was in 4-H, I ended up going to the Fair and singing"Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round the Old Oak Tree". I pray that on his deathbed, Tony Orlando will finally forgive me. If it made me cringe, imagine the poor folks who had to listen to it!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Native Devil - You sang Tie a Yellow Ribbon at the STATE FAIR? Now THAT is a story!!

BN - they make pies out of most anything around here!

We're off to the races. Will try to post about our adventure tomorrow or Monday.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Mental P Mama said...

Have fun!

Grandma J said...

I can't wait to see a picture of that pumpkin! I bet it's bigger than a Buick. Have fun!

BTW, Now you know how I feel when I'm scouring the earth looking for bare chested men to take pictures of. Horns blaring is nothing. I tried to get Mickey Mouse to shed his shirt, but no tamales!

TSannie said...

Got my demolition permit yesterday, bought out the town of all the dynamite and just rented a front loader. Wish I had a friend in the hospital.

Karen Deborah said...

Really a 1000 pound pumpkin? Is that possible? have fun at the fair. I DID clean out closets today but I would have rather gone with you. I heave stuff into trash bags and head for the Goodwill.

Rob (Inukshuk Adventure) said...

No time for housework anyway, I tagged you over at mine!

Auds at Barking Mad said...

Looking forward to the pictures from the fair!

We too spent last night in the hospital. All. Night. Long. With a very sick two year old. They almost admitted the Little Imp to the PICU because her fever wouldn't drop. It was very scary for a while. Massive ear infection to blame. Ruptured her eardrum. She's home now, and sleeping soundly. Scary stuff.

So, after reading your post, I am going to take Imp's recovery as a sign that my massive closet (it really *is* the size of a Volvo)doesn't need to be cleaned out...ever!

Thanks for helping me with this realization! *lol*

Onedia Hayes Sylvest said...

What a lovely place. I spent a total of ten years in Virginia from Norfolk, Northern VA, and Charlottesville and know how lovely the area along the Chesapeake is. Here I sit mid-continent with only a giant lake for big water. Your photos causes this nomadic soul to long for my traveling shoes.

foolery said...

I sure hope your friend is okay.

I attacked the girls' clothes situation the last two Sundays. Saturdays are for birthday parties, apparently. Lots of fun but my closet is NEVER going to get finished.

Good thing I set up my husband's closet stuff when we moved, but failed to do my own, huh? I must have a head injury.