Saturday, October 4, 2008
Best- Laid Plans
I took this picture from the dock at the Sea Breeze on Gwynn's Island yesterday. As usual, people were staring at me. People going into the restaurant stared. Two men launching their boat stared. Another person honked the horn at me all the way from the highway. It was not the sort of horn honk that says, "Hey, Chesapeake Bay Woman, I know you. You know me. How are you this fine afternoon?" No, it was the sort of horn honk that says, "Hey, you don't know me, but I know your kind. Anyone taking pictures at the Sea Breeze must be a tourist or from Richmond or both; therefore I do not know you and I want to mess with you a little bit."
I know this because I am fluent in horn speak. It's a gift. Or a curse called paranoia.
Folks, Friday I had planned on cutting grass, cleaning the house, doing laundry, paying bills, studying the backs of my eyelids and excavating the vicinity of what used to be my bedroom closet, which now requires a a case of dynamite, a front loader and a demolition permit to access. I interrupt this thought to say this about that: Every single activity I just mentioned sounds and feels like nails on a chalkboard. I'd almost rather spend the day in the hospital than do all these arduous, meaningless chores.
Oh wait! I did spend the entire day in the hospital! Not just one hospital, but two. Without going into the details, I have a friend who scared the living daylights out of us all but who has pulled through OK thanks in no small part to a miracle, plain and simple.
I see this as a clear signal that I should never try to tackle what used to be my closet ever again. It's just plain bad luck. To help my poor hospitalized friend I really should not do anymore chores.
See how that works? See how I can justify a strike against housework? Feel free to borrow my tactic anytime. Just tell 'em the master of avoidance and the queen of denial, Chesapeake Bay Woman, says anything else will bring bad luck and hospital visits.
Nope, not yet. Of course not. Please push in the clutch and shift into another gear now.
Today Chesapeake Bay Son, Daughter and Daughter's Friend are going to the Virginia State Fair in Richmond. Well, that's our plan anyway. The kids are looking forward to the rides. I am looking forward to the 1,000-pound pumpkin, the blue-ribbon pies, the chickens, rabbits and pigs, with whom I feel a natural bond. They don't much care for housework either.
I am bringing my camera so I will be able to share all the magic. And naturally because we'll be gone all day long, I won't have time to risk any bad luck by attempting all that housework I didn't do yesterday; my Saturday is pretty well shot. Sunday is a day of rest, no? Monday I have to go to the paying job.
Looks like I won't be accomplishing any of that housework any time soon.