The Canoe

Once upon a time, a stressed out mother hosted a birthday party for her son and a gaggle of teenagers.

Although it was two whole days of cooking, cleaning, and waiting on people a lot of work, she was happy to be a part of such a joyous occasion.

After a never ending day chock full of fun, the teenagers partook of dinner and retreated to the living room to play video games. At night they never sleep became restless and decided they wanted to take the canoe and the row boat to the cemetery across the creek to play Ouija, because that's what all normal teenagers do, right?

All righty then. Moving right along.

The cemetery was located very close to home, directly across the creek from the stressed out mother's house.

These photos were taken looking towards that cemetery from the very vantage point the stressed out mother sat biting her fingernails waiting, except it wasn't daylight, it was pitch black night.
Oh, and the wind was blowing a clip from the northeast, much like the scene below, only without the rain.

And, of course, without the daylight:
OK, it wasn't quite that bad, but still.

Although the stressed out mother fretted the whole time, she could hear the teenagers, so she knew everyone was reasonably safe.

When they arrived back home, the son disembarked from the rowboat, approached his mother calmly and said, "When we got out at the cemetery, Jason forgot to pull the canoe up on shore, and the wind blew it away. He came home in the rowboat with us, but the canoe is gone. We looked for it. "

The mother decided then and there that she was running away from home and wondered how quickly she could acquire a ticket to Bora Bora was none too pleased with this news, particularly at the end of such a long, painful fun-filled day.

Among some of the pyrotechnic outbursts that shot forth from her mouth were, "BLEEPITY BLEEP! I CAN'T BaaLEEVE THIS! THANK GOD CHESAPEAKE BAY FATHER TAUGHT ME HOW TO DRIVE A BOAT WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER." This was screamed uttered as she threw her boat in reverse out of the boathouse in the dark; in the gale-force wind; with her daughter on the bow holding a flashlight trying to locate the canoe. In the dark. With wind. At night. Looking for a needle in a haystack canoe in the dark. Wind. Dark. Wind. Dark. Dark. And more dark. Plus some wind thrown in for good measure.

After much cussing, more than a few stomps of the foot, at least one full-on hissy fit and several conniptions, the stressed out mother and her flashlight-holding, bow-riding daughter located the canoe and dragged it back home. In the dark. And in the wind.

And everyone survived lived happily ever after.

Including the teenagers the canoe.

The End.

p.s. Dear Chesapeake Bay Son, I thoroughly enjoyed having your friends over and would do it again in a heartbeat. Speaking of hearts, though, if you'd like mine to continue beating into old age, be sure to choose another activity, such as shuffleboard or checkers pull the canoe up on shore next time. Oh, and do the boating during daylight hours. Love you!

Also, a sincere thanks to my father for teaching me at a very young age how to handle a boat. It's a life skill that has come in very, very handy.