Saturday, January 2, 2010

Bird Talk


Here's a shot of two cormorants on the posts at Aaron's Beach. Actually, they may be some other sort of bird, but for now that's not really important.

What is important is what these birds are thinking, and what they would say if they could talk. Actually, that isn't important either; I just want to know.

Since we'll never actually know, I have to create my own answer.

Bird on Left: Hey. Don't look now but it's that frizzy-haired crazy woman with the camera.
Bird on Right: Uh-oh.
Left: You got that right. Act like you don't see her. Maybe she'll go away.
Right: 10-4.
(Pause.)
Right: Is she gone yet?
Left: No. But she's swatting the air and jumping up and down as if she's having a conniption. Maybe she's crazier than we thought.
Right: That may be true, but I signaled to our friends the horseflies to scare her away. Give it another 30 seconds and she'll be gone.
Left: It's working. She's trotting towards her car now.
Right: Can humans really trot?
Left: That's not germane to this conversation. The point is, she's leaving.
Right: Good. What's for lunch?
Left: I have a craving for Mexican but it's the New Year and I'm trying to watch what I eat. So I suppose it will be eel on a bed of seaweed.
Right: Eel is so 1994. Let's fly over to the Eastern Shore and hit that little Mexican restaurant in Onancock.
Left: You don't have to tell me twice. Last one there's a rotten egg.
CBW, racing back towards the water: Mexican? Wait for me!

What do you think they'd say if they could talk?

p.s. I could keep this bird conversation going on into perpetuity but am forcing myself to stop. You're very welcome. Happy Saturday.

13 comments:

Jo Whitehurst said...

Girl, you crack me up!! Have a happy Saturday!!

(I am hearing Gertrude and Heathcliff in Red Skelton's voice.)

Mrs F with 4 said...

I can only thing of rude things!!

Wash your mind out, Mrs F....

Trisha said...

Too funny! I was thinking they were eyeing each other up as potential competition!

Grandma J said...

And I thought I was going looney. But at least you aren't having a two-way conversation with yourself which is something some folks I know do.

I think those birds are wondering where the rest of the blisters are. Do they know the beach won't be quite as peaceful in a few months. Short memories??

Happy New Year!

ghostless said...

Left Bird: It's getting cold, let's fly South!
Right Bird: And South would be...????

big hair envy said...

Bird on Left: Crazy Chick's back. Let's go crap on her car.

Bird on Right: Let's wait until AFTER we eat Mexican for lunch.

Bird on Left: Perfect! She'll have to scrape it off with a putty knife!!

Well, as you can see, today is just one of THOSE days for me! Missed you guys at dinner last night. Hope today is a good day:)

Mental P Mama said...

But where are all those other crazy ladies?

Daryl said...

They look like cormorants to me and we all know how much of an avarian expert I am (I made that word up just now, Avarian, but you'll see it will show up as a WV eventually)

Oh and of course they communicate .. telepathically like all animals .. my vet, well he isn't MY vet, he was Gus's and he's Rose's vet but he is hot and he agrees with me so its true.

See today's is pondsta which if that wasn't a bay would apply to those cormorants

And yes I will shut up now

Country Girl said...

I love when birds use vocabulary properly.

Seriously. Germane! That's my kinda bird.

Julie said...

That's funny, love your bird conversation. I tend to do the conversation thing with my dogs. You should hear what those two talk about, lol.

Anonymous said...

These two birds know the meaning and proper usasge of "conniption" and "germane"? Wow! Must be a regional thing cause my mid-west crows don't have near that large of vocabulary.
SMBS

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

SMBS: Crows are so busy trying to out squawk each other that the content of what is being said is irrelevant, at least in my experience. p.s. It's great to finally hear from my one male reader again.

Everyone else - Thank you for commenting and thank you for tolerating the insanity. (Just like these birds did.)

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

JW-Thank you for understanding my humor. Really, thank you. I'm only half as crazy as these birds think I am. And I loved Red Skelton.

Mrs. F. - Don't wash your mind out and please start a blog. But if you don't, at least come to Blog Fest.

Trisha - They probably were. But I have a knack for overlooking the obvious and pretending something else is going on. But you're likely dead-on.

Grandma J. - You're not looney, you're funny. I, on the other hand, am just plain looney.

ghostless - Exactly. Also, let me know when you want to visit a haunted house because Mathews Mark is living in a GREAT one. Saw it today. Details at 11.

BHE - That's very accurate up to the part where I'm doing any scraping.

MPM-Those other crazy ladies were sorely missed.

Daryl-If you aren't an avarian expert, I don't know who is.

CG - Love the word "germane." Also love Jermaine Jackson, but that's not relevant here. Or is it?

Julie - It's sort of therapeutic, making up conversations. Clearly I am craving some Mexican food and have a disdain for horseflies. Would love to hear your dogs' conversations.