This lucky sea gull is perched near the Sea Breeze. He's lucky because he's not trapped in a training class for five days straight with no access to the internet. He's not missing his children's basketball games. He's able to enjoy the peace and quiet and relax. He's not stressed.
This week I'm in Northern Virginia without access to the blogosphere--or my children. Although I wrote this post last Saturday, I'd like to make a prediction about today, Wednesday: I'M READY TO COME HOME.
Update (as of Tuesday night): I am spending $6.00 for fifteen minutes on here to say I AM READY TO COME HOME BEFORE I GAIN 20 POUNDS. Vietnamese, Mexican, and now I see there is a Thai place right near where I'm staying. Too much. It's just too much. I'd be 400 pounds if I lived up here, plus I'm not exercising at all. OK, enough whining.
I've notified this sea gull that I'd like to be rescued. Here's how that conversation went:
CBW: "Hey, Gull. It's CBW."
CBW: "Listen, I know this is asking a lot, but can you fly up here and take me back home? I've had enough."
CBW: "I know it's asking a lot, but if you come rescue me I'll be your BFF."
Gull: "You better come up with another offer. That's not cuttin' it."
CBW: "Popcorn and bread crumbs for life?"
So, folks, as you can see I've officially lost my marbles and have resorted to talking about flying home with a sea gull even though as I write this I haven't even left home yet.
Update: As of Tuesday night, it would take a 747 to lift me off the ground now after all I've been eating. Please get me out of here before I hit someone in the eye with the buttons popping off my clothes.
If you can follow any of this madness,
Now it's your turn. Tell me what conversation you'd have with this sea gull. Or tell me what sort of food you'd want if you could have anything that is currently not available to you.
Then contact your nearest mental health professional. Tell 'em