Sunday, April 13, 2008


Last night we went to Donk's Theater, which is also known as Virginia's Li'l Ole Opry. (

Donk's is located in bustling downtown Hudgins, VA, which consists of a convenience store that sells clean drinking water, beef jerky and toilet paper (aka The Mathews County Essentials); a church organized in 1776; and a post office. All right next to this theater which Dolly Parton has visited.* (Seriously. Mathews County might not have any stoplights or stores that don't sell beef jerky, but we can and do attract the occasional celebrity.  Just ask Tom Cruise, who considered buying a house here, and John Lennon, who actually did.)

Donk's is a mixture of Hee Haw meets Real Talent with a side order of Eccentricity, heavy on that.

But it is also a place for wholesome, family entertainment provided by folks with a genuine, straight-from-the-heart passion for music. And corny jokes. **

Last night was their talent search. The house band, which is very good, played the opening set, which included one song that pretty much sums up the spirit of Hudgins and the Lil Ole Opry: Betty's Got a Bass Boat. In between songs, the emcee would interject his own special flavor of humor. **

Next, the four talent contestants did their thing. The first poor lady started off strong but then couldn't remember the words to her song and left the theater in shame and humiliation, all self-inflicted. I wanted to run and give her a hug but feared she'd call The Law on me.

The second act, I'll call him Guitar God, was a young boy who played the guitar.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven. I have NEVER heard a guitar played as well or in that style before. Ever. And while it is true I do not get out much, I don't know how anyone could disagree with the statement that he's a Guitar God. A sheer genius.

The third act was a young couple singing a duet. They came in second place and did reasonably well.

The fourth and final act was a Mathews native who also managed to forget a few words but who gets an A for effort.

Guitar God won, and I am sure y'all will be reading about him in years to come.

And if you ever have the chance, give ole Donk's a try. It really is good, clean fun with some great music, lots of heart and plenty of corny jokes.

* The emcee at Donk's said that when Dolly Parton gave him a hug, it was the two best things that ever happened to him.

** What did the Mamma Bullet say to the Daddy Bullet? We're gonna have a BB.


foolery said...

I told Smedley and Sparky the BB joke and they thoroughly approved, with cackles aplenty (though I had to explain what a BB was). Chas added, "But HOW? I'm shooting BLANKS!"

Yeah, sorry, there goes your G rating.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Foolery, tell Chas that he has a future in joke writing, I am quite impressed!

No worries on the G-rating. My dear friend Kathy went to R-rating on the Very First Comment (or close to the very first, I can't even remember now) on this blog, and it was hilarious.

In real life I drop F-bombs worse than a sailor, although I do try and limit those outbursts to when nobody else is around....such as every day from 7:30 to 3:15 while staring at a mountain of laundry and clutter.

Thanks for visiting!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Oh, by the way, what am I even talking about above? I actually violated the G-rating (again) with the Dolly Parton double entendre...

foolery said...

Ha ha -- DOUBLE ENTENDRE. You did it again. :)

Oh, today's captcha code is


which I found amusing.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Foolery, the fact that I had to go to wikipedia to understand what a Captcha Code ought to tell ya something.


Sounds like a perfect substitute for other words, such as:

Aw, DOOTERY, I wore my shirt on inside outwards to the store again.

Can you PLEASE pick up all that stinking DOOTERY off the floor?

I could go on and on...

foolery said...

Thanks for the inspirational, colorful, and ~SNIFF~ very sweet comment you left. (And in the interest of at least partial disclosure, my bath towels are sort of terminally stinky. Time for a trip to All Things Bath Towel.)

You have made my day yet again, Miss Chesapeake -- let's get married. ;)

tj said...

...Oh my gosh, I don't know what's funnier, reading the actual post or the comments! lol... ;o) You two are too much!...

...Gosh, it sounds like a good time can be had at Donk's Theater! Heck you never know, that Guitar God might end up on American Idol one day...

...Um, if you and 'foolery' up there tie the knot, can I be your maid of honor? :o)

...Blessings... :o)

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

tj, you would love Donks, I just know it. I thought the very same thing about this young kid - he'll be on Idol or America's Got Talent or Some--But Very Few--Americans Are Musical Geniuses or whatever the show du jour is.

Maid of honor? Sure. Just be sure to bring me one of your elephants or rabbits (the kind you sew, NOT the Devil Rabbits you GROW) as a wedding present!

Thanks for stopping by.