This is my mother's killer goose, Gustav, who might be the only goose on the planet
with horns and cloven hooves with his own Facebook page.
(I would link to his Facebook page, but I don't know how. If you do a search on "Gustav" from Facebook, he pops up as a public figure, which is hilarious because he's really a public nuisance.)Anyway.
My mother keeps two lame ducks and Gustav penned up in a contraption she built with
crab pot wire chicken wire.
Oh! Speaking of crab pot wire Before I forget, Saturday night we went to see a baseball game in Deltaville, and I met blogger Jamie, who is coming to our little Blog Fest. That baseball stadium is loaded with character s and is one of the few wooden stadiums left in the state. The country? The world? The solar system? I can't remember what they said. Regardless, I can almost bet you it's one of the only stadiums that uses crab pot wire to keep fly balls out of the stands.
But back to
the devil known as Gustav.
My mother-who used to keep her water fowl zipped up in a tent to "protect" them from
freedom preying animals--now keeps them penned up in this wire contraption. She feels it's for their own good. Gustav gets out
of prison once a day and enjoys hanging around with his Canada friends who come to feed in the yard.
One of these Canadian friends is lame, so Chesapeake Bay Mother did what she felt was best for this wild goose. She penned him right on up with the others.
If you look closely, you'll see Mr. Lame Goose above, and you might also see him shedding a tear.
Jail time with Gustav is a sentence worse than death.
15 comments:
You kill me woman you are so hilarious. You need to write a book about this stuff. You are a genius with comedy.
Gustav in his innocent pose, and then Gustav with his forked tail. A bit of that demon unleashing itself.
Poor geese! Do they all get time out for good behavior?
Went to a pretty exciting fireworks display put on by a local fire department. A good number of them went off on the ground, instead of the air, and everyone was running for cover.
KD-You should see Gustav's Facebook page, because the person behind THAT is the genius!
Deborah-We saw some great fireworks, and on more than one occasion I remarked at how the people standing under the one or two sets that went off *way* too soon might be in need of some attention, up to and including some Charmin.
I dig Gustav. If he could stand me slapping him every time he got sideways with me, I think we could be good buddies. But I mean it about the slapping. I have bitten a cat's ear, for reals.
Off to bed, perchance to dream . . . but I ain't got nuthin' on Mathews Marks' dreams, sheeoot.
I would not have struck through "the devil known as." But you know how I feel about geese. I'll be watching Gustav from the safety of the inside of your sliding glass door. (And drinking wine.)
I think Foolery needs to spend time with Gustav.. a woman after my own heart. I too have bitten a cat's ear for real .. more than once, she's a slow learner
WV: pawkkn .. here in NewYawk we pawkkn the car on the street, garages are too expensive
Will CB Mother be demonstrating her excellent goose-herding techniques for us next week?
Gustav,got your money, bust out planned in 10 days. Start using the dental floss on the wire I sent you. Now remember NO ass biting there will be a lot of people over a CBW house this will be a good cover. And what ever you do STAY AWAY from Mother CBW's asparagus plants! Last time I was over there she came at me with a pick ax when I got to close, She meant business!! So stay away because I'm not gona pluck you and serve you at Bloggfest your to tough (not enough meat tenderizer in the world for that goose). Don't go running your beak to all your friends about the jail break, CBW's boat won't carry all them. Oh and by the way CBW, can I borrow your boat during bloggfest, PLEASE, MM
foolery-Gustav truly hearts you and appreciates all the help you give him with his Facebook page. It's hard to type with cloven hooves...also, he comes across way more witty on Facebook than in person, for some unknown reason.
Meg-A stun gun will be provided in your welcome packet upon arrival, although as ornery as Gustav is, it probably won't work.
Daryl-Never met anyone who bit a cat's ear, and now all of a sudden I know two people. We live a sheltered life here in Mathews. People gnaw on a lot of things but to the best of my knowledge cat ears are not high on the list.
MPM-Yes, along with her dog cleaning demonstration which includes Windex...
MM-Yes, but not if you're going to run up and down the waterways with that evil goose on board. Also, MM if I haven't told you lately, you and Jr. MM are needed at Blog Fest all three nights and perhaps some during the day to help me out with some things, so just be forewarned. ALso, please tell the 505 club to mark off Thursday night for the cookout here and Friday night at Sandpiper, if they can fit it into their schedules. (AHR? We need to make a reservation for Friday night. Will talk to you later today.)
Did MPM say Blog Fest was NEXT WEEK? Uh oh. It's time to get with the program and do some work.
Poor lame Canadian friend! I am sure that he got around just fine despite being a bit lame. Well, I guess Gustav has a freind!
Great Time Saturday! Random lame duck thought: in America crappy cars are called lemons, in Germany they are calle lame Ent- Lame Ducks. And that concludes today's language lesson. Next time I'll share with you some words of the 4 letter variety. Oh, and the Deltaville Ballpark was built in 1948.
Oh.Em.Gee.... That poor goose! I think that cat had her eye on him.
I can't wait to see Gustaf next week and go for a ride on the JD with him.
I'm packing my own blow up bed, so you can enjoy some sanity for a few hours every night in your own bed this year.
I've been a blogging failure lately...blame it on drugs, inability to update from my phone, JJ or PBJ (who is having a hissy fit because I won't get snorkling gear for blogfest). BTW, JJ's page has him listed as a public figure too...I don't know how to friend him to others.
I haven't sunk my teeth into a cat's ear, but I have bitten off the tails of innumerable lambs... does that count? Gustav, be afraid, be very afraid... BlogFest is fast approaching. Pack your bags and hightail it out of there, my friend. Come to stay with me, my favourite goose. I have a lovely bed of soft, soft sage, just for you.
Just for the record, I am NOT a lame Canadian.
Please ensure my safety next weekend by keeping me away from CBM and her crab pot wire...(I'm a little afraid)
Trisha - I agree with you on the getting around part, and actually in spite of what I wrote, seeing how Gustav interacts with his Canadian friends there's no doubt he'll take care of his new friend. It's humans he has issues with. Major issues.
Jamie- NINETEEN FORTY EIGHT? That's incredible. Love that stadium. You should be proud to have such a deep-rooted connection to it. See you soon...next week!
GJ-You are more than welcome to stay in my room again this year, but if you have an inflatable bed there's tons of floor space. I still may put up the camper anyway, but we'll see. Can't wait to see you.
Mrs. F. - It counts, for sure. Oh, and I'll discuss the deportment of Gustav to Canada tomorrow. I feel certain he'll soon understand that Canada is his best/only resort...
Baroness-Nobody, but nobody, could ever confuse you with a lame Canadian. Can't wait to see you, Lady B. The karaoke awaits...
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