Bonfire

Labor Day weekend was chock full of spectacular weather here in Mathews: low humidity, loads of sunshine and cool, crisp air. Sunday night it was brisk enough to don a sweatshirt and build a little bonfire in my back yard.

So I did.

When Chesapeake Bay Woman makes a fire, the first thing she does is give the fire department advance notice fill a bucket with pine cones, pine needles and sticks from the yard. Really, that's all you need besides a fire extinguisher a match unless you want to toss in some scrap paper, aka trash.

(Remember when we used to burn trash in a barrel in the back yard?)

Next, I carefully layer everything in the fire pit. Pine needles and trash paper go first, then twigs, then bigger branches then the phone call to 911.

It's important that all the sticks, limbs and branches fit properly over the fire pit, and that everything is balanced otherwise the fire department will be coming much sooner than anticipated to prevent any unfortunate mishaps.

Below is an example of what not to do. This is a limb off the locust tree, and it weighs four thousand pounds. In addition, it's loaded with thorns.

Note: When an improperly placed locust branch all of a sudden threatens to cause a fire outside of the official fire pit area, be sure you're wearing a suit of armor before you attempt to grab the limb and reposition it on the pit. Not only are those thorns sharp, but also? They're on fire.


Below is a closer shot of an impending mishap the fire pit, which clearly shows missing tiles from instances when CBW did not properly balance the branches , and the fire crept over the edge and cracked the tiles in two.

Just like it's getting ready to on those last remaining tiles.


After a few more of these brush fires CBW-style fires, there will be no need for a fire pit because it will have disintegrated. Fire pits were designed for suburbanites and were intended to hold one (1) of those fake ez-start logs over which the screened lid is placed.

Can you believe there is actually a screened lid for this thing? Can you believe I have never used it because it does not fit on top my fires?

Bonfires--enormous bonfires--are very popular around here, particularly with the teenagers. It's only a matter of time before Chesapeake Bay Son asks me to host one here, and rest assured there will be no fire pit used. This will be the mother of all fires.

I can't wait.

Note: Due to last Friday's rain which helped saturate the ground, nothing disastrous came of the events captured above, although there were a few close calls that reminded CBW why it's always good to have another person around when building fires. One person can run get the water hose while the other dials 911.

Have you ever made a fire in your back yard? Have you ever been to a bonfire? Have you ever caught your yard on fire?