Town Crier

This is the bell at Mathews Baptist Church (aka Old Baptist) at Hudgins. This particular day I had pulled into the parking lot more interested in the neighboring house's wisteria than the church, but the sunlight hit the bell so beautifully I couldn't resist snapping a shot.

Mathews Baptist Church and wisteria are topics for another time, there's plenty to say about both.

Today, however, I would like to make a few general announcements.

Consider this a Town Crier post, where the crier is exceedingly tired which of course guarantees her writing will have you crying before too long.

My apologies in advance, it's been a long life day.

Hear ye! Hear ye! Oyez! Oyez!

1. On Saturday, April 24, there will be a grand opening of an expanded exhibit at the Clayton Building on the Historic Court Circle in Gloucester.

The building honors botanist John Clayton and is home to a collection of artifacts from his residence, Windsor, and his office. The exhibit will be open from 10-4 and 6-7. Lectures at 2 and 7 p.m. (I'll be attending the 2:00 lecture if anyone wants to join me. )

Archaeologists Robert and Lisa Harper will be available throughout the day to answer questions. Robert recently told me they're always happy to provide tours of the site. If you are interested in a tour or wish to volunteer at the dig, please stop by on Saturday or e-mail me and I can put you in touch with him.

2. Sandpiper Reef will be hosting Toby and Larry, a very popular duo, this weekend.

The last time they played was when Miss Pookie, Mathews Mark's mother, was celebrating her birthday. I can personally attest to the fact that they're good, plus the atmosphere is conducive to old folk those of us who want to hear ourselves think wish to be able to converse while enjoying the music.

Mrs. Anonymous Hallieford Resident may not be thrilled with my mentioning this because they usually sell out, but give them a call anyway and see if there are any tables/seats left. If not, be sure to pre-reserve for next time.

If Chesapeake Bay Woman is carding at the door, be sure to slide her a telescope magnifying glass so she can properly read the fine print on those driver's licenses.

3. The Mathews Farmers Market continues every Saturday from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.

If you have even the slightest desire to sell something, I can't encourage you enough to go and try it on for size. The fee is only $5, and the Chesapeake Bay Children made $75 in only four hours of selling daffodils.

You just can't beat that. Not with a stick.

If you "bake it, make it or grow it," you can sell it there. All you have to do is show up by about 8:30 that morning, locate the organic farmers who have the gorgeous plants (both of them wear hats so it's pretty easy to spot them), and tell them you want a spot. Pay your five bucks, and have at it. It's great fun.

4. In other news, Chesapeake Bay Woman ran into a rusty clothes line this weekend while chasing after her aggravating, ornery mutt of a stinkin' dog with all the sense of a small kitchen appliance her children's beloved pet in the comfort and serenity of her very own back yard.

Although she didn't quite hang herself, she did walk away stunned and now boasts a scab on her lower left chin which, she supposes, is better than some of the other alternatives such as CBW is a magnet for disasters a scab around the larynx.

A couple of years ago, she made fun of Chesapeake Bay Son for doing the same thing and said, "How in the world could you run into a clothes line without seeing it?"

Easy, that's how.

Daggone karma dog.

What's going on in your town, village, neck of the woods, state, hemisphere, back yard or neighborhood in the near future?

From the Frying Pan to the Fire

This delightful old shed lives down Shadow, which is on the way to New Point and Bavon, except not really on the way, you have to veer off the main road just a bit, but then eventually you reconnect to the main road so maybe this is sort of on the way to New Point and Bavon, and who's tired of this never-ending sentence besides me?

Speaking of being tired, as I write this Sunday evening tired doesn't even come close to describing the way I feel. Perhaps it had to do with the 5:30 a.m. alarm on Saturday to prepare for the Farmers Market, which included bending over in a daffodil field in cold, wet conditions that rendered every one of my fingers numb and useless, which was the exact same condition of my coffee-less brain.

After surviving the Farmers Market, delivering children to and from places, delivering parents to and from places, serving as middle man in a parental dispute that included, "Why the BLEEEEEP! can't he cut that BLEEP! BLEEP! wood some other time? Everything has to revolve around his schedule and that BLEEEEP!ing wood," I arrived home in time for a very quick break before heading over to Sandpiper Reef restaurant to work as a bouncer until 2:00 the following morning.

Why in the world would Chesapeake Bay Woman pretend to be serving as the gatekeeper to a restaurant/bar when her only real restaurant/hospitality experience involved waitressing at a pizza parlor in college, where she served a woman a salad with mushrooms after the woman explicitly said she was allergic to them? Read on.

Remember my post on Blue Collar Joes, home of the most delectable doughnuts ever created? Blue Collar Joes is owned by the brother of Sandpiper Reef's owner (aka Anonymous Hallieford Resident in the comments).

Imagine the horror of discovering that Brother Blue Collar's house burned to the ground last week. He was inside working on a hot water heater (I believe) and somehow or another it exploded and set the place on fire. Luckily someone found him in time and pulled him to safety. He's in the hospital but doing OK-- as much as someone can be OK after they've lost their home and everything they own. Everything.

Sandpiper Reef was hosting a very popular local band Saturday night, but Anonymous Hallieford Resident needed to be with her brother in a hospital on the other side of the state. She needed help.

Happy to assist, I found myself standing at the door with Bay Man carding toddlers young people eager to hear the band while Mathews Mark was busy tending to the goings on inside.

More on these escapades later, but for now a few key things:

1. Please leave some words of encouragement to the Maker of the World's Best Doughnuts in today's comments or on the Blue Collar Joes Facebook page.

2. Please also encourage the Maker of the World's Best Doughnuts to buy a home in Mathews County and open up a doughnut shop here. The old Fleets restaurant is currently vacant...

3. Dear Blue Collar Joe, You have a group of people here in Mathews who are very eager to help you in any way possible. Tell us what you need and consider it done. Same to you, Anonymous Hallieford Resident, except if I'm going to be at the door again, please provide me with some extra strong reading glasses to decipher the microscopic text on the Virginia state driver's licenses.

4. These doughnuts belong in Mathews County.