Reality

These were taken Sunday at my friend Alda's house.

I've known Alda since kindergarten and sat beside her on my very first bus ride to school.  I was positively petrified and couldn't make eye contact with anyone upon climbing up the bus steps, which were as steep as Mt. Everest.  So I instantly whirled around and plopped right down on the front seat next to the aisle.

Sitting at the window seat was Alda.

She's an extrovert; I'm an introvert (in case the not wanting to make eye contact clue didn't tip you off). She just started talking, and I instantly relaxed.

Anyway, Alda (the grown up Alda, not the kindergarten Alda)
invited me to a football party on Sunday.

I was happy to attend.

However I didn't go to watch football.

No, I was there for the free comedy routine which

always erupts whenever she and other certain classmates convene.

That other certain classmate in this case would be Catherine.

When Alda and Catherine get together, the introverts in the room pull up their chairs, sit back, pick up their bowls of popcorn, and eagerly await the show that's about to unfold.

One will start telling a story which always has humorous twists and hairpin turns.  Just when that first one stops to draw a breath, the other one jumps in.  It's like the handing off of a baton in a relay race--one leg of the race is over, and the other one takes off wide open with a fresh and exciting continuation of the story.

Then the other one jumps back in.

And so on. And so on.

They continue to feed off each other, getting louder and louder and louder (and funnier and funnier) with each contribution.

Sometimes they talk over top each other.

Usually I can't even hear the end of the story because they're both hollering out their version of the story simultaneously, and I can't focus on them both I'm still laughing from something I heard a few seconds earlier.

(Also, I have a loud laugh.  Most people can't hear anything else when I'm laughing.)

I really think Reality TV People need to come talk to me.

If they think Honey Boo Boo is entertainment, they haven't seen anything.

(By the way, I only recently learned that Honey Boo Boo is a person and not a thing.  The fact that it's a child is even more disturbing. But this post isn't about Honey Boo Boo, believe it or not.)

Anyway.

These were taken that evening before the football
and before the free comedy show. A good time was had by all.

And Honey Boo Boo was only mentioned once.

The End.

(Click here for another post involving Alda, 

some pranks, and an ornery VW bus.)

The Point of Zero (re)Turn

This is my father on his zero turn lawn mower.
And that's Queens Creek.

One recent evening, my father dropped in and asked me to meet him down at his dock next door.  There was something over there I needed to take pictures of, he said.  Grabbing my camera, I sprinted ahead of him across the yard to the dock to see what it was.

He puttered behind on his zero turn lawn mower.

On my way, I determined the pictures wouldn't be great, no matter the topic, due to the low level of light.

The sun had already said, "See you tomorrow."

Then, upon arriving at his dock, I realized there was nothing there to even photograph.

Hmmm.

Over the dull roar of the mower parked just near the dock, he hollered, "Do you wanna see how to test if your dock is well-built?"

Thinking I heard him incorrectly, I simultaneously shook my head and hollered, "What?"

"Do you want me to show the best way to see if your dock is well built?"

"Ummmmmm.  Ohhhkaaaayyy?"

Then this commenced to happenin'.

"Good Lawd Clawd," CBW managed to utter.

At this point CBW, barely able to hold the camera,
may have uttered something that rhymes with, "CHEESE AND RICE!!"

Breathing a sigh of relief, CBW took a second to reflect on things,
such as her father's entire life, which was flashing in front of his her eyes.

Dearest Queens Creek Neighbors Across the Creek,  the entertainment here is free of charge.
No Reality TV necessary.  In fact, Reality TV wouldn't even believe what goes on here, would they?

CheeseUs Rice.
 Almighty.

A picture of the actual zero turn mower performing its zero turn
could not be captured.  This is a survival skill I learned a long time ago.
Block out all images.

One more turn to successfully negotiate and then
CBW may have uttered the rare, "Jeemny Christmas."

"Please keep your hands and feet inside the ride until it comes to a complete stop."
I had flashbacks of all sorts including the days I worked at Busch Gardens.
Evidently my life was flashing in front of my eyes as well.

We love him even if he does scare us to death sometimes.

The End.

p.s. Click here to read my mother's account of last week's vacation.  The episode about her foray into the water is accurate and one which I will never forget.  


I am most pleased to report that both my father and my mother are still alive and uninjured kickin'. In spite of themselves everything.