Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Cross Country - Chapter V

This tiny little building on the Mathews Court Green is our only public restroom (the door on the left is for women; the right for men). Because of our lack of facilities, most natives quickly learn the fine art of creating make-shift bathrooms, such as can be found behind a tree or a large bush or a car. Or an A&P or Western Auto. Or a tombstone at the cemetery. For example.

Speaking of restrooms, we now return to the Chesapeake Bay Family Cross Country Camping Trip of 1977, and specifically to what I call the Nevada Bathroom Incident where Middle Sister got a toilet-cleaning implement caught in her poncho and dragged it out the bathroom with her. For the original story
, click here.
Chesapeake Bay Mother says this about Middle Sister's unfortunate encounter with the johnny mop:

"Recounting the 'Nevada Bathroom Incident'--that happened in Florida a few years earlier when visiting Disney World. We were inside eating when the children all used the restroom. On returning, the infamous johnny mop trailed an oblivious Middle Sister."
CBW here again. CB Mother? The johnny mop incident did not happen in Florida! That Florida trip, though rife with horrors and peculiar incidents, did not have anything to do with Middle Sister's unfortunate embarrassment.

To prove this, I offer the following evidence:

1. Middle Sister was wearing a PONCHO. During that Florida trip, we 3 children were stuffed like sausages into the back of a 2-door Ford Thunderbird LTD, while the parents' front seats were jammed back so far the children could put their chins on their headrests. There is no way she would have been wearing a poncho. It was HOT on that Florida Nightmare Trip (Virginia to Florida with no stopping for anything whatsoever unless someone was in so much pain they were crying or unless the driver/CB Daddy had to use the facilities) and I can assure you nobody was wearing a poncho. Various and sundry passengers may have wished a poncho to be wrapped ever-so-tightly around their neck, but nobody was actually wearing a poncho.

2. Out West, you may recall, it was FRIGID even though it was the middle of August (not July as you mentioned in another chapter). Middle Sister WOULD have been wearing a poncho in the mountains, because you packed her something warm to wear and obviously forgot about me because I recall being so cold I had to wrap myself up in a vinyl tablecloth in order to keep hypothermia at bay.

This past weekend, Middle Sister came to visit us from Georgia, and Baby Sis came in from Richmond. All five Chesapeake Bay Family Members who were on that trip were in attendance, and I broached the topic of exactly which trip--and which state--this whole johnny mop incident happened in.

Final Voting, Commentary and Reactions to the whole debate over "Which state did Middle Sister drag a johnny mop attached to her poncho from the Women's restroom out into the common area?" are as follows:

CB Mother - Swears it was in Florida on the Disney World trip. (It wasn't.)

CB Middle Sis - Went along with CB Mother, because she can hardly remember anything, and in fact thinks that we left her at the Grand Canyon when we did not...we did leave her, but not at the Grand Canyon, and we went back to get her before we left the state, for goodness sakes. More on that in a later chapter.

CB Baby Sis - Deer in the headlights. Has no idea what we were talking about.

CB Daddy - Laughed a lot and then said his famous, standard response when he doesn't know what else to say: Boom Bam Bippy! Do not ask me what that means or where it came from (although I do believe CB Mother made it up--it was part of an entire song she made up--and he borrowed it and never gave it back). Much like CB Middle Sister's "Qwah!" it can be used to express just about any emotion. In this case, I believe he was saying he does not recall the incident and has no input onto the topic. Boom Bam Bippy.

CB Woman - Maintains that this was the Nevada Bathroom Incident as part of the 1977 camping trip, not the Disney World/Florida trip where we stayed at a Holiday Inn with cockroaches the size of armadillos. Because I am the one writing this, that's where it's going to be documented as having happened. For all those other CB Family Members who wish to write their own version of events, I encourage them to do so.

Boom Bam Bippy!


Bear Naked said...

Your version makes the most sense so I agree with you and I wasn't even there.

Bear((( )))

Unknown said...

I'm with you all the way on this one. Of course you know every family member has a reason for their take on this whole johnny mop incident. It's never a good idea to disagree with your mother or wife...unless you are the imfamous blogger called Chesapeake Bay Woman.

And like I tell the few who dare to disagree with me on my blog...."it's my blog so I'm right, now go get your own ball".

I need ice cream now, because another blogger is starting a diet segment and I only have a few days to kill myself.

Ann Marie said...

CBW your chapter does make sense weather relation wise.

I was going to give you a potty traveling story that happened to a girlfriend but .. well it was too gross to share before breakfast.

I posted a photo and a link to you on my blog today if you would like to take a peek at the shout out.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

BN - Thank you. I feel vindicated.

GJ - Please don't hurt yourself with that ice cream. BHE is doing South Beach, is that the one you're doing?

AM - Thank you so much, you're too kind. As long as my kids can read that bathroom story, go ahead and put her up here.

I just love Tuesdays when I don't have to work. I also love Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays and Fridays when I don't have to work. I've got to find a way to do this and get paid for it.

Anonymous said...

I'm sure you're right, cbw. You're like me, always right. I hate it when other family members disagree about something I know I'm right on. Boom Bam Bippy is original. I've never heard that one.

Anonymous said...

I believe I have blocked out all childhood memories of family vacations. Some things are just better left in the past. Would Middle Sis agree?


Big Hair Envy said...

I forgot to post the South Beach link. It is now up.

Anonymous said...

Big Hair Envy, you are right. I can barely rummage through the basement of my brain to uncover these long hidden memories. I will tell you that I came out of that bathroom, noticing all eyes on me, and smiled like the newly crowned Miss Universe. I had just been singing my heart out in the bathroom, and figured that they must have heard me. Most likely, "it's a small world afterall" or "feelings"....which were two of my favorite songs to sing. Anyway, when I realized that they were LAUGHING, that smile quickly turned to big crocodile tears. And the beginning of the end for my singing and acting career. What an embarrassment!!

I believe we were in Florida.


Middle Sis

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Cats - I know I'm right in this case...I may be off on the state, but I know it was the cross-country trip and not the Florida nightmare.

BHE - I've blocked out plenty, but not these family vacations. They are permanently burned in my brain...

Middle Sis - OMG!!! You were singing FEELINGS. Sitting in the stall with your poncho dragging the floor singing FEELINGS. You did come out of there with a smile on your face....sorry about the humiliation but this was not something I inflicted upon you - not this time any way.

QWAH!! Boom Bam Bippy.

Mental P Mama said...

Well, I feel like I was along on this trip by now. And it was in Nevada. I could almost swear to it.

Cool Breeze said...

Are you sure the five of you are related?

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

MPM - Thank you. Exactly. Nevada.

Cool Breeze - I'm starting to think I was adopted. Speaking of which, one of the torture tactics I used on Middle Sister was to tell her that SHE was adopted. I also used to tell her that either she or I (can't remember which) was dropped here by Indians. I also told her that pine bark was where turkey came from because it's white and I may have forced her to taste it. I don't know.

Do you see what happens growing up in a place where there's nothing to do and computers/video games hadn't been invented yet? Scary stuff I tell you.

pjhammer_1965 said...

Memory repression is a common internal defense mechanism, whether it be conscious or not, in order to distort those events that we find uncomfortable. Like, who was your first boyfriend in 7th grade? If I were Middle Sister, I'd probably remember the other guy too...LOL.

My older brother has the memory of an elephant so, if family recollection ability follows a pattern, I'd have to vote with CBW on this one, although further examples of her memory superiority would help support this conclusion.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

PJ Hammer - Happy Birthday! My short-term memory is nonexistent - I'd call it memory inferiority vs. superiority....but I do remember vivid details from past events, much to some people's chagrin.

pjhammer_1965 said...

It's my Birthday? I forgot

The (Original) Ravenswood Guy said...

Great Job !!! Phyllis Sue directed me here. Ah to be back on the East River. Maybe someday.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Mr. Ravenwsorth - Glad to have you. Would love to hear stories from you about living in Mathews.

The (Original) Ravenswood Guy said...

"Ravenswood" Dear, not ravensworth!!!!!!!!!!
But, yes I will tell you about my years there...

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

R - That's my stellar attention to detail...and the reason why I could never be an accountant (along with many other occupations).

Val said...

a friend of mine once told me she and her sister always used to argue about who owned a certain facecloth. years later they were laughing about this and my friend said 'whose facecloth was it anyway?' and the sister said 'IT WAS MINE!'
so which road trip was this??

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Val - It depends on who you ask...but there's only one correct answer: The 1977 Cross Country Camping Trip. (I can absolutely see arguing over a face cloth - it isn't about the face cloth, it's a matter of principle.)

Margaret Cloud said...

I am confused, you lost me in Nevada, I plead the 5th. I am wishing you a Happy New Year.

Anonymous said...

Um, the women's is the one on the right? geez, I always used the one on the left, it was the only one unlocked! Who knew I was in the men's room all that time!
Your entries always take me down memory lane! Look forward to reading them and catching up on all those I missed!

Karen Deborah said...

"happy New Year funny girl! I think it happened twice, once in Florida and once in Nevada. I had to wear cheap vinyl dime store boots in the snow and they got wet inside. I had frostbitten toes. I understand perfectly about the tablecloth.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Mrs. Cloud - I'm sorry, my writing is way too rambling to keep up with, it's more like a roller coaster that sometimes veers off track, but I wish you a very, very Happy New Year too.

Phyl - Did I say the women's was on the right? If I did, I meant left. I'm dyslexic, probably, as well as many other things too numerous to list. The funny thing was, there was never a line at this bathroom (can you imagine a line?), and we were typically *reluctant* to use it....too many lights, and maybe it was too close to the fire house, which in the teenage years was the same as The Law. Flashing red lights and figures of authority in a crisis, or something, I don't know.

KD - Happy New Year to you, and good luck on your trip.

Thank you all for reading and for commenting.