Friday, December 26, 2008

The Ornament

This gorgeous barn is in a most unusual spot. Instead of presiding over a vast expanse of field, it sits on a waterfront lot on Gwynn's Island, just a few steps away from Hills Bay. I'm sure when it was originally built there was far more land separating it from the water than there is now, which makes it all the more interesting.

Here it is the day after Christmas, and you'd think that Chesapeake Bay Woman would give you a day off from the insanity that spews forth with more force than Old Faithful or a water main break in downtown Washington, DC. But the thing about insanity is it knows no breaks.

I'll compromise and not spew forth as much as I normally do, but in return you have to do some thinking.

See how you fare on this quiz.

Which of the following DID NOT occur in the Chesapeake Bay Family Household on Christmas Day?

a) Chesapeake Bay CAT not only slept on the dining room table all day but also decided to throw up on it--and the nice Christmas linens--just prior to dinner. Or rather, CBW did not excavate all that was atop the dining room table until just before dinner and only then discovered the cat and the throw-up, not necessarily in that order.

b) Chesapeake Bay SON walked barefoot on the roof of the house. This is what all children do on Christmas Day, no? While I was cleaning cat-produced liquids and solids off the table we were about to eat from, CB Son had to retrieve an errant remote-controlled helicopter from the roof, while his mother fended off compulsive thoughts of impending disaster which is inevitable when a 13-year-old is climbing a 10-foot ladder onto a 400-foot roof on Christmas Day.

c) Chesapeake Bay WOMAN burst into tears when she opened up a present from her children. It was the most beautiful ornament she's ever seen, and it had her first initial on it. CBW could not control the tears and blames them on stress, hormones and love, but mostly hormones.

d) Chesapeake Bay Woman went an entire day without seeing one sign of an insect infestation.

Correct Answer = (d)

Because what would Christmas be without some cat hairs, cat throw-up, moths flying around your living room and your son walking barefoot on the roof?

Correct Answer = Christmas Day in a nice, normal household far, far away.


Karen Deborah said...

um that's about as good as the raging case of poison oak that i got from said adorable kitty. It's on my face neck and chest,we are merry and bright red!

Annie said...

well, it sounds like a memorable day was had by all...

Merry Late Christmas...


Mental P Mama said...

I hope you had enough wine.

Anonymous said...

Don't you just LOVE cleaning up cat vomit? At least it was on the table, and you didn't STEP in it.

Anonymous said...

I guessed right. I picked answer d. Add to that, it rained Christmas Eve. All of your guests tracked in mud after you cleaned for 3 days. House was a disaster zone after about 2 hours with about 15 people opening presents and eating. Back to 3 more days of cleaning. By the way, my cat licked our ham on Thanksgiving, my husband didn't tell me until 2 days later. Yes, we ate it. Did you know that animals' mouths our cleaner than ours. That is what I like to believe. All of these things ae normal in Mathews.

Anonymous said...

This is such an amazing place.

Only on the internet can there be a Cat dumb enough to barf on Christmas dinner yet smart enough to type.

For a while there, I was really begining to think that Cat (the typer) had come over for the holiday and had a bit too much spirit!

But then I get confused easily....I'm told it's just a guy thing and not to worry about it.

And glad to hear that son didn't fall off the roof - those helicopters have a habit of getting a bit out of control.

There currently is a helicopter stuck on a basketball goal in an unnamed school gym somewhere in the midwest. It was determined that purchasing a new helicopter was more prudent than other options.

Big Hair Envy said...

Girlfriend, I understand the exhaustion! It's a good thing you didn't have the gumption to come by today.....I'll tell you about it later...AAAHHHHGGGGHHHHH!!!

Unknown said...

Awe...If that ornament made you weepy, then I'm definitely stealing it when I come to the East Coast Blogapalooza..then you don't have to cry every year when you see it.
That's what friends are for, right?

Anonymous said...

Blimey! Imagine that...our Christmas day had some cat vomit thrown in as well. Except ours was downstairs on the mudroom floor. I would have lost what little sanity I have left had the cat decided to take out his anger on us on the table. I would have also taken said cat with me!

Sounds like you had a Merry Christmas despite the added, um, decoration. Hey, it could have just been the only way your cat knew how to decorate.

Anonymous said...

ended up here from an icon link from inukshuk adventure...under the heading of fun places to be.

Meg McCormick said...

Aw! Love the CB Kids.