Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Basement

This old barn is at Soles, on the right as you're headed towards Dutton. The property happens to be For Sale if anyone's interested. Given there was a For Sale sign out front, I figured if anyone questioned what in the heck I was doing parked on their property, I'd say I was interested in buying it. It happens to be a true statement. Doesn't mean that I can afford it, though.

I will be sharing more photos--close-ups--of this very beautiful barn in the coming weeks. If I didn't have dial-up internet, I'd post more than one picture of it here today, but a shred of sanity is required for Chesapeake Bay Woman to function minimally as she does, and therefore one picture per post is the recommended daily allowance.

Growing up, the Chesapeake Bay Sisters spent many gleeful hours in the basement of their house. The basement was big, with a cement floor ideal for roller skating, skate boarding--even bicycling, assuming you were content riding around and around and around in small circles on a pink bicycle with a flowered banana seat that belonged to Middle Sister but that you liked way better than your own. For example.

The laundry room was down there too, and Chesapeake Bay Mother would often rig up a rope between the basement's support poles to serve as a clothes line.

One day, Chesapeake Bay Girl took her sister's beautiful pink bicycle with the flowered banana seat for a spin down in the basement. Even though she was a tomboy, she secretly wanted that pink bike instead of the boring blue one with no banana seat that she had; but there was no bitterness or resentment on her part. No.

Chesapeake Bay Girl was so in awe of that flowered banana seat that she stared down and admired it as she pedaled around the basement. Her eyes drifted slowly over each pink part of that bicycle. As she pedaled.

(Insert sound of the needle being pulled off the record here.) Quicker than you can say, "Rope burn!" Chesapeake Bay Girl rode that beautiful pink bicycle right smack dab into the clothes line her mother had strung up precisely at eye level, making CB Girl wonder if her mother wasn't subconsciously rigging up a noose.

The rope hit her straight across the nose, and flung her backwards. Thankfully the only real injury was a rope burn, and for many years afterwards she sported a white line running horizontally across her nose. It would not tan and would not go away; there are several grades' worth of school pictures to confirm this.

In spite of lessons to be learned about coveting thy sister's bicycle or paying attention to what you're doing, the real moral of the story is this: Use a clothes dryer, Chesapeake Bay Mother.

The End.

p.s. I am still having computer problems and can't access EVERYTHING on my computer. I just happened to have stockpiled two or three posts over the weekend and therefore can avoid a long stint in Saluda jail for at least 24 hours. (Once this computer dies for good, I will pitch a hissy fit the likes of which have never been seen around these parts, and that's saying somethin'.)

If anyone can tell me why I can pledge allegiance to deFRAG, toss my cookies and STILL have an aol system that moves the pace of molasses in January, please, please give me some advice. I am just about ready to check myself in to Eastern State Hospital.

So, while I am trying to avoid incarceration and institutionalization (is that a word?), please understand that if I do not comment here, if I do not respond to e-mail and/or if I do not show up on your blog to comment, it's because the computer is in the bottom of Queens Creek, and I am in a nice, comfortable, sterile environment complete with padded walls and prescription medicine.


Annie said...

funny story..

reminds me of my tooth...running around car as a small child, sibling opens door, annie lives for ten or more years with rectangular chip out of front tooth. After I had "grown up" they eventually filed it down a bit..!!

oh no, bad news...cbw without computer...what would we do?

IF you still have a computer that half works..I think I have found a way to let you access my post without having to read the whole blog...so here goes...there is a photo I posted today that I think you will like...and only ONE photo...that must be a record for moi!


ps try going to http://annielul.blogspot.com/2009/01/ive-been-tagged.html

pps Not sure whether it will work tho..

Ann Marie said...

is there a reason you are still on dial up??
As for missing files.. oh DANG. I hate that.. for some reason it happens to me all the time at work. Love the picture.

Anonymous said...

Did I ever mention, I learned how to cook when I had dial up?

It was something to keep me busy when ever friends and family sent pictures. The draw back is that the only meals I know are prepared in 14 minutes.

You didn't ask, but one can clean their entire house in the same 14 minute download window.

What I never understood was why the 5 minute round-trip to gather children from school ALWAYS took more than 14 minutes.

Good luck with your electronics.

Mental P Mama said...

Ouch. But was the bike okay? I am sending your 'puter lots of good vibes.....

Anonymous said...

CBW, Saluda is an excellent option. I checked with the Head of the Federal Prison System back when Martha was there. You can knit all dang day AND you have access, although the hours/sites are limited, to the internet, in some cases. Three hot meals a day, laundery done for you, no ropes in the basement, only 1 phone call a day, sounds like vacation.
However I believe Eastern State is closed. Did you know there was a mental hospital you can tour in West Va? I think we need a field trip.
Going to have more coffee now.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I was having a lot of problems last week until I downloaded the windows updates. Go to the bottom of your screen and make sure that you expand the selections so that you can see all of the icons. There will be one that looks like a shield (I think it's yellow) and when you put your cursor on it, it will pop up as "windows updates available" or something like that. You need to shut every other application and let it download. It fixed my problems quickly. I was having trouble opening and closing even excel....

You still have my pink bike, don't you?! Qwah!!!!!!

-Middle Sis

Anonymous said...

Gosh, I had a bike just like that ! My brother took it apart one time & made it into a chopper- BOYS ! (be glad you had sisters!) The story is not good ! However, I did win the war, my mother stood over him until he placed every part back, exactly as it should be (as she stood pointing her finger at him & tapping her foot)what a glorious moment.
A fund raiser of some sort will have to take place in order to update you with a faster computer ! Any ideas anyone ?
I am finally back to work & have truly missed your site - when I saw you in the new DG - yep, you saw me at my worst after surgery. I promise I will never come out like that again ha! ha! It could not be helped that day ....
I am late, but, Happy New Year !
Horn Harbor Girl

Anonymous said...

I had a blue bike with a white banana seat (it even had glitters in it). I was so excited. My sister had a pink one, but I loved my blue one. I was a tomboy like no other. She was a girly girl. I still have scars on my knees from falling off that bike, but I smiled through the pain. Thanks for the great story.

tj said...

...You're tossin' cookies? Where? *giggle* ;o)

...Um, proof is in the puddin' dear - need photos of said rope burn please and as soon as you can get on that too, 'k? Thanks... ;o)

...Blessings to you & 'puter... :o)

p.s.-my word verif.? "outiout"... I envision you screaming that to me right about now...lol Okay, I know it's not funny but still...lol ;o)

Unknown said...

I can remember riding my brother's bike in the basement. I didn't have a bike yet. The nose stripe? I'm sure there must be some pictures in your basement or attic of that cute face with a white striped nose. One with the rest of the face heavily tanned would be great. Make sure we can click on it and enlarge it.

Meg McCormick said...

We used to roller skate in my basement, too... but there were no clotheslines down there.

Oh, how I wanted a banana bike! I ended up with a standard yellow big girl bike, and I liked it, but you know, the cool kids all had banana bikes.

Infer what you will.

Golden To Silver Val said...

You may have some adware or spyware on your computer that's slowing things down to a crawl. Google "spybot search and destroy", then go to a reputable site like MAJOR GEEKS and download it. (its free). Install it on your system and let it scan it for you. It will detect and remove all of the garbage, if you agree to let it. After this, update it and run it once a week and you should be good to go. I am hoping that you do have a firewall and a virus scanner protecting your system as well. If not...do so immediately. Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

Gee, when they said "Never surf without protection" I always thought they ment wetsuits....
(only bad jokes on days it snows)

foolery said...

There's a jail for salad?

Country Girl said...

I hope as you read this that your computer is working and you are not in a padded room.

I had dial-up when I began blogging. Couldn't visit anyone, could hardly post. It took over an hour to do one post.

Then I got satellite internet (Wild Blue) and they ripped me off royally. I am so sorry to hear of your internet plight.

But I was especially sorry to hear of your white stripe. That sucks.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Whew. I am finally on here after a long day at the paying job.

Thanks to some friends and also to Golden to Silver Val, I at least have the computer functioning at its old slow pace rather than the new "not functioning at all" pace. I'm not sure how long this will last, but for now I am not looking a gift horse in the mouth.

Annie - I loved your photo. Those siblings - they're trifling, aren't they?

Ann Marie - Someone needs to do a psychological study on me and people like me. I am afraid of technological change, the older I get the worse it is. I need to write a post on this entire topic, maybe I'll do that tomorrow while I'm at work avoiding Excel spreadsheets because I can't do formulas and am afraid of it....

RC - Maybe you could "one-up" Rachel Ray and make her look like a slacker for taking up 30 minutes instead of your 14. I bet you're a good cook. I have a hunch....

MPM - Middle Sister's perfect bike was unscathed in the whole noose incident.

Phyl - I think saluda has got it going on, as you say 3 squares, no cleaning up. That road work they do might get on my nerves but it is no worse than the 13 months a year of grass cutting season around here....

Middle Sis - I did what you said and actually it helped (along with a few other things). I don't know what became of that BEAUTIFUL bike that was not mine but probably CB Mother ran over it like she did ever other one we ever had. I'm sure I blocked that memory right on out....QWAH!

Horn harbor girl - SO GLAD YOU'RE BACK. I've missed hearing from you. You looked great in DG, surgery or not. We need to do another Sandpiper thing...that was too much fun. I can't believe your brother took your beautiful bicycle apart. Bravo to your mother for making him put it back, tapping foot and waving finger to boot!

Kaffy - Oh no. BLUE WITH BANANA SEAT AND GLITTER? That would have been my *ideal*. I was really not a pink person (it's totally against the Tomboy Code) but I just loved that daggone banana seat with the flowers on it and so had to love the pink that went along with it.

TJ - As we speak I am looking at a school pic that has the rope burn in it. I contemplated posting it, but will save that for a rainy day, one where I have left the country entirely never to return again.

GJ - AAAAh. Not the "click and enlarge" function! (We really need to figure out how to do that on your pig one - that is priceless as are most of your pictures.)

Meg - Anyone who has perfect pitch is definitely cool in my book. Way cool.

Golden to Silver Val : BLESS YOU. I printed off your comment and went to that site. I downloaded "something" (details) and scanned and it found 91 "bad things" (details!). I couldn't figure out how to get rid of the bad things, but at least I've got the stuff downloaded and can work on figuring that out later. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

RC - Snow? How exciting. (You must get a lot of snow?)

Foolery - Saluda...you bring up an interesting point about the name of that little town (not sure you can even call it a town, more like a place). Ensalada = salad. Salud = health. Not sure what Saluda translates into but around these parts it means jail.

Country Girl - Indeed it takes me AT LEAST an hour to do each one of these posts...I am going to check out Verizon this weekend and see if I can't upgrade to something better than Agony, aka Die-l Up.

Thanks to you all for reading and commenting. I've got another day of the paying job tomorrow and then I'll be able to focus on this site.

Let me know if there's anyting in particular you want to hear about...USDA Soil Surveys....Chesapeake Bay Family Vacation a la the Griswolds, etc.

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of all the times I've either walked into the screen door or glass slider off the back porch. It's a miracle I never broke my nose...or anything else.

I totally hear ya on the computer thing. Mine is about to be thrown into the Gulf of Maine.

Dealing with dial-up automatically earns you Sainthood. Just sayin'...