Saturday, January 24, 2009


This is a dock over on Gwynn's Island. I don't know the name of the creek, don't know the name of the road. Paying attention to such details while maneuvering an automobile and a camera is not high on my list of concerns. There are more important things to worry about such as, "Who is watching me from their house as I stop in the middle of the road, roll down my window and take a picture of their dock?" and "Is it considered trespassing if you take the picture from the state road?" "What if one tire is in their driveway and the other three are on the state road?" These last two are hypothetical questions of course.

About half of the people who visit Life in Mathews are locals (current or former) who I know. Another percentage of readers comes from other blogs that I read and leave comments on. But there's a third category of visitors here, and they're the people who happen here by accident because the blog came up on a google (or other) search for something entirely unrelated.

For example, let's say I went onto Google and typed in "how to make a homemade wreath" because I was interested in actually doing that. (I'll wait while you stop laughing.) Google would pull up some very nice sites on making wreaths, but my Life in Mathews blog would pop up because of that horrendous incident I had over Christmas trying to make a homemade wreath. Some innocent soul would stumble upon that post and this blog and run screaming, never to come back again.

I happen to be able to see what words and phrases they're searching that pulls my site up, and some of them are downright hilarious. Below are a few of my favorites:

"Johnny Mop" -Linked to my Cross Country story where Middle Sister dragged one out of the restroom with her.

"Can u drive with high beams when it is pitch black?" - Linked to the story I did yesterday about driving with high beams, and I'm sorry, but if you don't know whether you can drive with high beams on when it's pitch black, you'd better be googling "smart pills."

"Historical value of eggs"-Linked to a story I did about the chicken farm at Dixie. I was quite unaware that eggs had historical value but am pleased to hear it since I have some in my icebox several years old.

"naked camp horse pony riding bareback" -Linked to my story about riding ponies bareback down Route 198. This particular search came from someone in Argentina. It warms my heart that someone in Argentina read about Mathews when they were really trying to find out about some lewd camp. Warms my heart, indeed.

I have plenty others, but I'll save them for later. Right now, I'm going to ponder why anyone would want to ride a horse naked. And furthermore why someone in Argentina wants to go to camp to do it.


Unknown said...

I love seeing what google searches lead to my blog. I get a lot of Indonesian visitors who googled Tropic Thunder. I did a movie review several months a go. The most hits? Sham Wow.

Just a warning...someone used the word penis in a clinical way, and she got a zillion hits.

Ann Marie said...

Hmm. interesting stuff.. naked camp bare back riding pony

I wonder if it is a naked camp.. like a nudist colony..

Or if it is a camp where you just ride pony's naked

Or if it is the pony that is naked cause he is bare back.

As for your creek name and your road name.. we MUST get you a Get Away Driver!!! I have found I can see sooo much more with one. Although he took off on me today already and got on his boat.. so I am cleaning.

Mental P Mama said...

I am not the least bit surprised.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

GJ - Thanks for the tip, although I usually dance around such things rather than come right out with the technical term, mostly because I try not to say anything that i wouldn't say around some of our local senior citizens, for example (I'm not always successful). I wonder how many stray hits Bossy gets on a given day? Her double-entendre-filled discussion of Obama's stimulus package was downright hilarious.

Ann Marie - I guess I'll never know. They must have a lot of fun down there in Argentina, that's all I can say. I'd love to have a getaway driver, but most of the time I go out on Fridays when most normal people are working. Plus, I confess I enjoy going alone, I can't explain why.

MPM- Have fun in New York City today. I'll think about you dining in some fancy restaurant while I stare at my cupboard filled to the brim with Boring.

Anonymous said...

...and now we know that Big Sister is watching, watching very carefully.

It occurred to me, while reading todays entry, that you might write stories with the intent to attract an even wider variety of folks to your blog. But, after reading the above comments and CBW's reply, it's clear that everyone is already on to this game.

I haven't read Bossy's story and I'm probably going to get in trouble here, but why not write a story entitled: "In climactic turnaround Obama's fading stimulus package receives large endowment from private donor."

Nice chatting with you folks. I will now log-off and check myself into naughty blogger's prison.


Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

MMM - Big Sister really isn't watching...Sitemeter (the free version which I have) only provides very high level info. The ISP if known, how many pages viewed, and length of visit. The only real specifics I get are on the search engine words...yeah, I never write thinking about the google in all areas of my life, I never have any sort of game plan, stuff just comes out or happens. You need to read Bossy's post - It's from a day or two ago - you'll probably have to look at the bottom of her current post and click on the one that talks about Obama. Can't miss it. I think she even beat your story, so to speak.

You have a Get out of Bad Bloggers Jail free card since you are a contributing writer. You did know that, right? You now have a blogging job title. Go ahead and put it on your resume.

This reminds me that I still have a couple more of your stories I can use - be looking this week.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Oh, and MMM, your job as Contributing Writer pays the same as Blog Author. We're an equal opportunity employer here in Mathews and do not contribute to the wage gap between male and female employeees.

My Salary: Zero
Your Salary: Zero

See? The same.

But there are fringe benefits, such as laughter, creativity and the dream that one day all of this will pay off somehow.

I still say the Reality TV show would be killer.

Ann Marie said...

Some of us are really curious as to who exactly MMM is.. if he is up for telling.. email me.

Anonymous said...

I will only disclose my true identity to those who attend the blogfest in July! That is, of course, if this blogfest is one that is "attended" in the flesh?

Keep in mind, I don't know who the heck most of you are either. But really, really like you all anyway. It's more fun this way, isn't it?


Anonymous said...

...beat my story... CBW, you've gone too far... so to speak...

Redneckgirl71, just by name of your gmail address, I would guess that we have a fair bit in common.


Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

MMM - Indeed there will be a live, in-person, in-the-flesh,non-cyber blogfest in July. You are reminding me that I need to draft the announcement.

Please pencil July 16-19 on Pookie's calendar. Yours too of course. Pookie doesn't have to come to the entire thing, but does need to give a talk at one of our events (perhaps the cookout on the beach at Gwynn's Island would be most appropriate).

Anyone else out there who is interested, stay tuned for more details.

Margaret Cloud said...

I did not know that because you searched Google for info it would be traced back to our blog sites, am I saying this right? Do we have to watch what we ask for? I am new at this, but have used Google to find out all kinds of info.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Mrs. Cloud - I'm probably not explaining this properly, but if you have Sitemeter or Statcounter attached to your blog, you can click on it and see where other people have done Google searches, and the results of their search brought up your blog as one of the results. It doesn't say who did the search, only the words they used, and it only shows up if they actually click on your site.

From the other angle, let's say you do a search on something, and one of the results is a blog that has Sitemeter on it. If you decide that you want to click on that blog to see if it has the answers you're looking for, Sitemeter will tell the blog owner the words you searched that brought you to their blog.

Yes, it's as clear as mud.

I think I've sufficiently confused myself, but the bottom line is an individual's identity or e-mail address isn't given away, only their search terms.

Keeper Of All Things said...

Thanks not only am I pondering why someone would want to ride naked ....... I have a mental picture of a over weight Argentina EN in my mind!A whole bunch of them !!!!!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Keeper - Yes, it is a disturbing thought to say the least. I've elected for my Argentinian rider to be buff, but it is still a disturbing image....I really wish I knew what that person was trying to locate.

On second thought, no, I don't.

Anonymous said...

I found you by googling "Donks" to check the show schedule.

I HAD to read a page entitled "Life in Mathews"

so glad I did!


Anonymous said...

If you don't make any money being a bloggin are you going to pay your pool boy?

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

AMN - I'm so glad you did too. I might never have known that (a) there was someone else who went to my college besides Middle Sister and a few older folks, and (b) there was someone else who went to my college who herded cows on the night before Christmas Eve when they sprung loose and were headed wide open towards Linda's Diner.

RC - If you serve as the agent and find out how we can turn this into a money-making venture, then a pool can be built, and someone will be needed to maintain said pool.

Nevermind the book and movie. Reality TV is the way to go with this bunch around here. You simply cannot dream up the characters and stories that live here.

And that's a good thing.

Anonymous said...

I suspose you'll be wanting me to get the permits and dig the hole, work, work.

I'm starting to think that swimming in the river/bay isn't sounding all that bad :)

foolery said...

'Scuse me for interrupting, but how do you Mathews people not have traffic jams EVERY FREAKIN' DAY for all of you stopped in the middle of the road to take pictures? I mean, I would! From the looks of it, even your dump most be riotous with color and beauty.

Around here, we're not sure where the dump is, because it's camouflaged.

Anonymous said...

Looks like I'll be digging the hole for the pool by hand - as I can barely write complete sentences, let alone know anything about books, scream plays, or TV.

And don't look too hard, cause sometimes I don't even finish the sentences that I'm

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

Foolery, the closest thing we have to a traffic jam is having to wait 30 seconds to make a left turn into Food Lion parking lot. There are miles and miles of side roads that are infrequently traveled.

RC - YOu won't have to do any digging or any work whatsoever other than play lifeguard if you can just do the legwork on the book/movie/reality TV deal. That's all. I know you can do it, you have the organizational skills.

BTW - Swimming in the creek/bay is no good after the water temp reaches a certain level, because then we're inundated with sea nettles that sting like methyalade (sp)poured straight on an open wound.

We really need that pool.