Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Clothes Line

Let's get this straight right up front. These are not my pants. Repeat: These are definitely not my pants. Not that there's anything wrong with their shape ...or anything......

Until I can finish up my internet homework, I wanted to put up something quick and easy, which in this case is my parents' clothes line.

This was shot from their yard, looking into my yard, but it all blends together into one endless yard the size of Kansas. I have to cut Kansas with a John Deere riding mower while fending off crab apples, walnuts, sticks the size of redwood trees, low-hanging tree limbs, wasps, and stumps. Plus not one but two clothes lines. All this with an empty cup holder.

Did you know that stumps are actually alive and their sole purpose is to cause whiplash along with a complete destruction of your mower blades? Did you know that when I run over things like this it only causes me to go faster on the tractor and dare something else to get caught up in the mower blades, something such as rope or twine, which guarantees the following readings from a blood pressure cuff: OFF THE CHARTS? Do you have any idea how many times I have ruined each and every part of a riding lawn mower? I do it with mucho gusto. It's my life's purpose.

My parents use a clothes line even though they have a dryer. They hang their clothes out even in the winter. I've seen their stuff on the line when cytoges* came through. I've also seen their stuff hanging on the line during a snowstorm. Did you know that shirts can stand of their own accord if exposed to the proper temperature and weather conditions? And that you need a crowbar to return them to the vicinity of their original shape?

*Cytoge pronounced sigh - toe - g (as-in-Gus)- ee noun a horrific storm of mass proportions, never predicted, and sure to be life altering. Combines a cyclone, tornado and gale into one word. Almost always seen when CBW goes on vacation. Or comes home from work. Or wakes up.

Or breathes.


Anonymous said...

First, you really should do somethin' about that empty cup holder.

Second, my in-laws dry their stuff outside too, even though they have a dryer. They like crunchy towels. Of course now, it's considered "green" to have a clothesline. But it was nothing of the sort where I'm from.

Lastly - I spent 2/3 of my teenage years on a lawn tractor dodging similar perils.

tj said...

...Oh I so second what SINAFF said! lol... ;o)

...And, "nice pants"...(remember that commercial?) Yeah, I have an aunt whose dryer quit over 10 years ago and since then she dries her clothes on the clothesline outside or the one in her basement. When you hug her in the wintertime she kinda has a musty smell about her... :o)

...Oh and I can so relate to the mowing issue! If my husband is home while I'm mowing he is forever outside flailing his arms in a motion that is supposed to mean, "raise the deck!", "raise the deck!" but I either ignore him or wave or blow kisses...either way, I get the low down on the replacement cost of a new mower deck later...(*sigh*) ;o)

...Blessings CBW... :o)

auds at barking mad said...

No matter how green I ever go (and I live in Maine, chances are I will be so green at one point or another I'll be mistaken for moss, or worse, mold!), I will never, COULD never, "enjoy" hanging my clothing out on a line to dry.

Sure, the smell is nice, but they are crispy and stiff and feel horrible. Using a freshly line dried towel (unless it's been beaten to crap by gale force winds) is akin to using a full body loofa! If I recall, those are for use IN the shower...not afterwards.

Mental P Mama said...

I have a complete visual of you. Sans drink. Whipping around your own private Kansas on that mower. That alone is going to get me through this day.

foolery said...

Dear Chesapeake Bay Offspring,

All I want for Christmas is a picture of your Chesapeake Bay Mother riding her lawn tractor, mowing Kansas, and daring stumps, redwood logs, clotheslines, and other impediments. Please try your best to get a photo for me between now and Christmas. I know you read here occasionally. You can e-mail it to me at

foolery (at) clearwire (dot) net

Your mother will never know who did it.

Thanks in advance! Your friend,


Big Hair Envy said...

I remember using said crowbar to "fold" towels at Grandma's in February. I was a strong little kid!! hahaha!

I also used to help PaPa mow the grass at the church cemetery. You think stumps are tough on the mower blades, try running over one of those flat cement gravestones. It ain't pretty. Hey, I was only eight!

Bear Naked said...

I seem to be in the minority here.

In the house I had (3 houses ago--another story for my blog) I had a clothesline and I loved to hang my sheets and pillow cases on it.
Right now living in this hell hole of suburbia next to a busy highway as I do at the moment, I wouldn't hang a dust rag out now.

But my NEXT house which will be in the countryside will definitely have a clothesline.
For the sheets but NEVER for towels.

Bear((( )))

Anonymous said...

Mental p, is she wearing a halter top, a tube top, or does she simply have the sleeves of her Iron Maiden t-shirt rolled up, so as to avoid the dreaded farmers tan?

So hawt.

Anonymous said...

One more comment, sorry... in defense of those who aspire to be "green" (and with all of our oak trees, it's really not possible here), I have a real-life bloggy friend who's sponsoring the Clothesline Challenge:

Point being, while crunchy, musty-smelling towels may not be for US, they are, in fact, OK with a small sector of the blogosphere. So check her out... because it's noble, and because she's my pal.

Shutting up now.

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

sinaff-i've spent 3/3--yep 3/3-- of my entire life on a tractor, i could drive one when i was 3. and yes, the towels do get crunchy.

tj - DON'T EVER RAISE THAT DECK. NEVER, EVER. Lower it, yes, but raise it? NO. I stand behind you firmly on this. Please send your husband my way if he has issues. He can stand in line with any other male around here, especially my father (who has to repair things when I totally ruin them). LOWER THAT DECK.

auds - the loofah analogy is a great one, i agree.

mpm - You have no idea how aggressive I am on a tractor, it is insane. Foolery is about to get a real-life visual that I'm sending via e-mail. Maybe she'll pass it along, which is fine with me.

foolery - Happy Birthday Eve! One of my offspring will be sending you a birthday greeting either tonight or tomorrow.....

bhe - you definitely have skills if you were mowing at age 8. i could drive a manual/stick shift cub cadet at about age 9or 10 and didn't touch a push mower until NEVER. i hate push mowing.

bn - my wish for you is that you very quickly realize that dream of a clothes line and a country house. it doesn't get any better than this.

Grandma J said...

OH I love your yard and your parents' yard. I use a dryer. I love the way sheets smell right off the line, but I like soft better. I also hate ironing, and wrinkles so I will probably never be green, but I make up for it by not being a serial murderer.

foolery said...

Got it, CBW -- thanks!

cats said...

I hate to beg to differ, but I am a clothesline finantic. I too, like your mother use my clothesline year round. I have sheets on the line now as we speak.
It saves me money and I love the way my sheets smell. I have also taught my son and hubby to hang out clothes. Call me eccentric. I got it from my mother.