Saturday, July 5, 2008

The Storm

As predicted, we had a major Weather Event during our camping vacation on the Eastern Shore last week. It went like this:

1. Clear skies.
2. Everything's fine.
3. Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
4. Category Three Hurricane.
5. Awning ripped off pop-up camper; other major, structural canvas pieces ripped; children traumatized for life.
6. Happy Vacation. You did not die.
7. The End.

Now, let's hear the children's version of events:

Son: Day 4
On the 4th day we were here there was a great typhoon. It was at the end of the day right as we were eating marshmallows. We all rushed into the camper except my StepDad. When we were in the camper, the wind was so bad we were rocking back and forth. Mom was trying to comfort us saying it's going to be fine or it's almost over. But we knew that it was bad because we were being soaked by the leaks in the camper. People outside were running all around, things were hitting the camper and all kinds of stuff was happening. Then my Stepdad told us all these plans in case of a tornado* But in the end we were all fine, except the hammock, which looked like a sailboat's sail during the storm.

Daughter: Day 4
Today everything was fine. Brother and I went putt-putting and I won for the first time. The score was 51-52. Then we all went to the bathroom except my Mom.** A storm came in and the camper got torn and the hammock was twisted around 697 times. My Mom had to p** like a race horse. She hadn't p**d since lunch time. We finally fell asleep.

* Vacation Tip #1: When death is imminent and you're trying to comfort children by saying anything but what is actually happening, suppress Stepdad's talk about emergency tornado procedures, which may include, "If you hear something that sounds like an oncoming train, we're all going to die, so here is the emergency plan: Dive head first into the pedal-boat pond and stay underwater until the tornado passes."

** Vacation Tip #2: Never let the fact that the campground's community bathrooms are located in the state of Maine deter you from walking the distance several times a day. You never know when an unpredicted tropical depression will strike, rendering you helpless, trapped in a camper with two children and no facilities.

And an ardent desire to be someplace far, far away.


Grandma J said...

How scarey. I can't imagine camping during a storm like that. Being a new transplant to Texas, the threat of a tornado makes my heart pound right out of my chest.
I did learn something important. Dive head first into the pond and stay underwater until the tornado passes.
Would the pool here at the compound work as well?

Your kids are good descriptive writers!

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

gj - I didn't pay attention to the actual emergency plan because I was so stunned that all my work in calming people down was instantly for naught.... so I may have made up that part about diving in the pond. I do know we had to go somewhere close to the pond though...

My emergency preparedness plan was quite simple and amazingly close to how I approach housework: denial.

Bear Naked said...

The last time we went camping there was a HUGE storm one night.
I was so terrified I made hubby come and sit in the car with me.
We ended up sleeping in there all night.

kaffy said...

CBW: Your vacation pictures are INCREDIBLE. Thank you for posting them! I'm glad you're back, dear friend. I'm embarrassed to say how many times I checked your blog when you were gone just to visit the old pix and see if there were any more comments. I guess I fall into the category of "lurker" at times, since it's not always so easy to leave a witty, topical comment (like foolery and the others do so effortlessly). But I think about you and hope you are surviving and finding some moments of joy out there in the country. xxooxx

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

BN- Going to the car would have made all the sense in the world, but I was afraid if I opened the camper door it would fly off. And I believe our weight was the only thing holding that camper in place.

Kathy - Lurk all you want and never underestimate your wit and humor. When are you going to start YOUR blog so I can lurk in your neighborhood? (Not the family one, the Other One we've talked about.)

foolery said...

Holy frijoles, Miss Cheeky! You are a storm magnet. And I'm pretty sure I would have peed in a Snapple bottle if I had to, although I hear that is NOT easy.

Glad you're home safe. I can see the apple doesn't fall far from the tree in the humor department, too. :)

Chesapeake Bay Woman said...

foolery - i considered alternatives, however i didn't have a snapple bottle handy. plus, my aim is not that good...

I laughed myself when I read what Son and Daughter wrote. And Son was absolutely correct in that the hammock was blowing like a sail on a sailboat....and Daughter's number of 697 twists in the rope was also accurate. Extremely accurate.

Storm Magnet