Saturday, July 5, 2008
As predicted, we had a major Weather Event during our camping vacation on the Eastern Shore last week. It went like this:
1. Clear skies.
2. Everything's fine.
3. Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood.
4. Category Three Hurricane.
5. Awning ripped off pop-up camper; other major, structural canvas pieces ripped; children traumatized for life.
6. Happy Vacation. You did not die.
7. The End.
Now, let's hear the children's version of events:
Son: Day 4
On the 4th day we were here there was a great typhoon. It was at the end of the day right as we were eating marshmallows. We all rushed into the camper except my StepDad. When we were in the camper, the wind was so bad we were rocking back and forth. Mom was trying to comfort us saying it's going to be fine or it's almost over. But we knew that it was bad because we were being soaked by the leaks in the camper. People outside were running all around, things were hitting the camper and all kinds of stuff was happening. Then my Stepdad told us all these plans in case of a tornado* But in the end we were all fine, except the hammock, which looked like a sailboat's sail during the storm.
Daughter: Day 4
Today everything was fine. Brother and I went putt-putting and I won for the first time. The score was 51-52. Then we all went to the bathroom except my Mom.** A storm came in and the camper got torn and the hammock was twisted around 697 times. My Mom had to p** like a race horse. She hadn't p**d since lunch time. We finally fell asleep.
* Vacation Tip #1: When death is imminent and you're trying to comfort children by saying anything but what is actually happening, suppress Stepdad's talk about emergency tornado procedures, which may include, "If you hear something that sounds like an oncoming train, we're all going to die, so here is the emergency plan: Dive head first into the pedal-boat pond and stay underwater until the tornado passes."
** Vacation Tip #2: Never let the fact that the campground's community bathrooms are located in the state of Maine deter you from walking the distance several times a day. You never know when an unpredicted tropical depression will strike, rendering you helpless, trapped in a camper with two children and no facilities.
And an ardent desire to be someplace far, far away.